AUTHOR and life coach Natalie Maximets writes that the usual length of a high school relationship is six months for 16-year-olds. For 17 and 18-year-olds, the relationship’s lifespan often ends after a year.

We often refer to the relationships that develop in high school as innocent puppy love. This is  the time many of us first fall in love or get our first heartbreak. It may also be when we meet our first toxic ex, or–in rarer cases–our soulmates. 

While many young people, and even not so young people, grapple with commitment issues, there are couples who got together as teenagers who are still going strong after several years.  

Curious as to how they’ve managed to make their relationships work for so long, we asked three people still with their high school sweethearts: what’s the secret to staying together? 

We were both young when I first saw you

Love for 3rd-year student Maria Ariella Caluya and her boyfriend Justin Picart started in 2017 with something unique to junior high school relationships: the MU, or mutual understanding. Caluya was 17, and Picart was 18 then. Now both 22, their love is stronger than ever.

Caluya recounted that she was going through a lot when they started dating. 

“He saved me from the fires of hell,” she quipped. “We started dating even before that kind of ‘label’ thing; we just knew what we felt for each other.”

Picart said that his love for Caluya started with her telling him a corny joke. 

“At the time, I wanted to have a close friend who’s a girl, because I felt like I needed someone besides a guy. In that first encounter, I thought to myself: ‘Wow, ang corny nung joke niya. She’s alright,’” he recalled. 

Picart said there’s an exciting, mysterious vibe to be found in forming a relationship in high school. 

“In my experience, I felt that JHS relationships are like a new world to be explored,” he said.

But he was scared at first as he knew he still had a lot to learn about life, he admitted.

“But luckily, I didn’t back out,” he said.

Caluya, on the other hand, sees JHS relationships as unique because of their essence of innocence. 

“I see the innocence of our JHS self, and the child-like attitude is evident within those days, which makes it a once-in-a-lifetime experience,” she said. 

I wanna ask you to dance right there

Joshua Louis San Pedro, a 3rd year-student from the Lyceum University of Manila, said that he met his girlfriend Kim Nicole Hernandez when they were partnered for their school prom. 

They were only both just 15 when they got together. It was “all about butterflies and kilig” when they first started out, San Pedro said.

But they’re still going strong up to now.

De La Salle University student Prinze Ulric Perez met the love of his life Juliana Gonzales in 2015 through a classroom visit during lunch break. They were both 17 at the time. 

His favorite memories of their relationship from high school? When they would secretly meet up in between classes, or when he would surprise her with a good old fashioned harana. 

Everything has changed

Not everything, of course, can be sunshine and roses. As their relationship started to bloom, Perez found that he and Gonzales often had to deal with issues like emotional immaturity, attention-hoarding, and jealousy. 

To overcome these, Perez said it was important that they tackled these as a couple; they got by thanks to “facing [their challenges] together and making important decisions that were mutually agreed upon and satisfying to both of us.”

For Caluya, the key to getting through problems was listening to and understanding one another, as well as keeping an open mind. This helped her and Picart to grow. 

“We’ve both made substantial personal growth and have evolved in our emotional states. We’ve become more self-aware, and have a deeper understanding of ourselves,” Picart said.  

Picart and Caluya noted that their priorities shifted as the years went on, and their academic requirements became a small hindrance to their relationship. There came a point when they felt that time may be “running out” on them, as they had to focus on preparing for their future jobs. 

But they worked to resolve their issues. It takes a lot of patience, understanding, and consistency to get through the rough patches, they said.

“We agreed that if we want this to work, we make ways of making it work,” said Picart.

San Pedro faced a similar problem in his relationship as well. As he and Hernandez grew older, their routine and priorities changed, too. 

But they made the effort to adjust. 

“It takes sacrifice, understanding, acceptance, and forgiveness to make a relationship work,” he said.  

Now that we’re grown 

The changes in their lives have not changed their commitment to stay with each other.

“I don’t feel like I’ve outgrown things in our relationship,” said Picart. “I still see our relationship the same as how I saw it during Grade 10.”

Caluya said they spend less time with each other because of their responsibilities as college students, but this did not become a reason for them to end their relationship. 

“We don’t talk that much, but we still manage to stay for each other,” she said. 

For Perez, keeping a relationship alive is all about honesty, transparency, loyalty, positivity, and open-mindedness.

“A relationship is not determined solely by the age at which it begins, but rather by the emotional maturity and mutual commitment of the couples involved,” he noted.

Even if the couple committed to each other at a young age, they could last if they put in the effort to grow together. 

“High school couples, like any other couples, have the potential to last if both individuals are willing to grow and evolve together, communicate openly, and work towards a healthy and fulfilling relationship,” he said.  

While many things have changed since San Pedro and Hernandez first started dating, they’ve used their time to learn from one another and to get to know themselves better at the same time.

“We became mature and open to each other. I had the chance to have a beautiful partner inside and out that’ll be by my side throughout my journey,” he said. 

He also said that whatever challenges a couple may face, there’s always a way to make things work if they love each other.

“It will always be your choice,” he stressed.  

At least we were electrified

Picard said he understands those who say that high school couples never last; it happens and that’s okay.  

“Different people have different needs during high school, and sometimes, those needs are either not met or are constantly changing,” he said. 

Some people’s young love may not have withstood the test of time, but they could still consider it a beautiful part of their life, said Caluya.   

“Change is inevitable with two people,” she said. “The relationship may not work, but the memories are there, and will remain for a long time.”