AT SOME point in our lives, we grieve over something or someone.
It could be the death of our loved one, a romantic relationship that did not work, a dream job or college program, or a friendship that ended.
Grief is an inevitable part of our lives and is one of the heaviest emotions we can ever deal with. However, as time passes by, it gets easier to manage.
How? Each of us has different ways of coping with grief, but understanding its stages helps us reflect on the emotions we feel along the process.
Original Pinoy Music (OPM) band Cup of Joe brought its fans, collectively known as Joewahs, on its journey of exploring the five stages of grief in its two-night solo concert at the Araneta Coliseum in Quezon City on February 8 and 9.
Titled “Silakbo,” the concert was held in support of the band’s debut studio album of the same name.
The RepublicAsia team felt the outburst of emotions on Saturday as Cup of Joe—composed of Gian Bernardino, Raphaell Ridao, Gabriel Fernandez, CJ Fernandez, and Xen Gareza—took everyone in the process of grieving through its heart-tugging discography.
Five stages of grief
In 1969, Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross said in her book, “On Death and Dying,” that grief could be divided into five stages, with “denial” being the first phase.
Denial is a feeling when one refuses to believe or accept the truth. It is commonly used as a defense mechanism to avoid painful feelings or situations.
To better understand this, the young pop/alternative band performed “Wine” and “Kanelang Mata” from its 10-track album that narrates one’s pain and healing.
“Gumagawa ka ng reality na gusto mo kaysa sa reality na totoo,” said Raphaell. “Bawat isa sa atin may kahinaang hindi maitatago. Ngayong gabi, unti-untiin natin ang proseso ng ating mga emosyon.”
Once the person understands the reality, the next emotion they may feel is “anger.” Anger may be directed at individuals in their circle, an inanimate object, or themselves.
Gian, the band’s co-lead vocalist, said if there is one thing he learned in the past year, it is to cope with his feelings instead of suppressing them.
“But I know, we all go through that stage kung saan sa sarili natin tayo pinakagalit. And I believe that’s the most painful form of anger,” he said.
Gian and Raphaell performed the songs “Bubog” and “Pahina” while facing their reflections in two mirrors on the stage to deal with anger.
When one grieves, they tend to have a lot of “what ifs” and “if only” in their minds. They do this during the “bargaining” stage where they try to negotiate in hopes of a different outcome.
“Ito ‘yung part kung saan gumagawa ka ng deals or nagsi-seek ka ng ways to avoid or lessen the pain of loss,” explained Gian.
“Mapapasabi ka na lang sa kanya ng, “Uy! Alam mo, let’s give this a chance kahit isa lang na saglit, at kahit hindi na maulit,’” he added.
Gian’s speech led the band to perform “Siping” and “Lahat ng Bukas,” where they welcomed rising singer-songwriter Keanna Mag.
Cup of Joe allowed themselves and the audience to feel vulnerable in the fourth stage of grief: “Depression.” It is a mental state that causes a continuing feeling of sadness, hopelessness, and loss of interest in something that once gave happiness to that person.
The night became emotional when the band sang “Multo,” “Nag-Iisang Muli,” and “‘Di Maaari.” During the “‘Di Maaari” performance, the audience switched on their phones’ flashlights and sang their hearts out for the person and dreams they had lost.
“We have no other choice but to fight it until we find the light, and it all brings you back to the very beginning,” Gian said.
Grief does not go away easily, but once a person reaches the “acceptance” stage, they will understand why such a painful situation happens in their lives.
Raphaell said this is also when people realize that “some good things never last.” But the quintet accompanied the audience to the light at the end of this dark tunnel and assured they were in high spirits with their performances of “Hinga” and “Silakbo.”
Collab, special performances
The “Silakbo” concert was not just about navigating the stages of grief. It was a night of surprises for Joewahs as Cup of Joe prepared special and collaboration stages with other OPM artists.
Aside from Keanna, “Asia’s Soul Supreme” KZ Tandingan-Monterde had a duet with Gian for their rendition of “Two Less Lonely People in the World,” originally sung by Air Supply.
It was the song Gian performed with KZ, his idol, in June 2018, when he attended her concert at the Mall of Asia Arena in Pasay City.
“Gumawa ako ng sign sa illustration board na, ‘KZ, please let me sing with you.’ Tapos tinweet ng ate ko tapos nakita ni KZ tapos qinuote tweet niya, ‘Let me see that later,’ sabi niyang ganon. So, the fanboy in me was panicking na,” he narrated.
Gian said he wanted to perform the song at the “Silakbo” concert because it would be “a full circle moment” for him to share the stage again with KZ.
Cup of Joe then thrilled the audience with its performance of “Tingin” with singer-songwriter Moira Dela Torre.
Gian shared that the “Paubaya” hitmaker inspired him in songwriting, especially when he created “Sagada.”
The OPM band also had sub-unit stages, with Raphaell and Gab introducing themselves as “Pink Soda” and performing their rendition of “She Looks So Perfect” by 5 Seconds of Summer.
Meanwhile, Gian, CJ, and Xen came up to the stage as “Pink Penoy Club” and sang Eraserheads’s “Alapaap” and “Ang Huling El Bimbo.”
The first day of the “Silakbo” concert concluded with Cup of Joe’s performance of its hit song “Mananatili.”
On social media, the band thanked Joewahs who attended the concert and made the two-night event “unforgettable.”
