WHILE having a child with special needs may seem like a lifelong burden to some, it is the biggest blessing for millennial mother Cherk Balagtas-Almadin. 

Many people in Almadin’s life know her as a very passionate and headstrong individual. Even when she was younger, she was someone who loved to debate with her classmates, teachers and even people in authority and would never back down from a fight. 

There was even a time when she acted like a bully in school because of her academic achievements and intimidating stance and presence. 

“Parang naging siga siga ako,” she said. 

As an adult working as a news reporter covering crime, Almadin’s feisty personality served her well. 

But there came a time in her life when she found herself changing and discovering a softer, more compassionate side to herself. 

And this was all because of the birth of her second son, now 11-year-old Constantine or Stan. 

Having a son with autism 

As all parents know, having children is one of life’s best gifts. Kids give parents a reason to strive hard so that they can give their children a good life.  

But what if your child has a condition that would prohibit him or her from living life like most people? 

This was what Almadin had to face upon being confronted with the fact that Stan, the second of her three children, can never live the life she wanted for him. 

“Nung mga first months niya, hindi namin alam na may autism siya. Nakakapansin lang kami nung mga late four years old siya, nagpatong-patong siya ng mga laruan, ipinipila-pila niya yung mga laruan, tapos wala siyang eye contact,” she told republicasia. 

After she and Stan’s father observed very noticeable abnormalities in Stan’s development, they had him checked. It was then that they were told that he had autism. 

​​The Center for Disease Control and Protection defines autism as a developmental disability caused by differences in the brain. Usually, people with autism often have problems with social communication and interaction, and exhibit restricted or repetitive behaviors or interests. They may also have different ways of learning, moving, or paying attention. 

Accepting that Stan was on the autism spectrum was not easy for Almadin. 

“Nung una kong nalalaman ‘yun, syempre masakit sakin. Unang-una kong tanong dun sa neuro, may possibility po ba na paglaki niya, makapag-asawa siya magkaroon siya ng normal na buhay?” she recalled. 

The doctor advised her to read the book This is Why I Jumped so she may fully understand the condition of her child. 

“Binasa ko siya, dun ko nalaman na baka di siya makapag-asawa, paglaki niya hindi ako magkakaron ng apo sa kanya. Lifetime condition siya. Hindi siya sakit, condition siya,” she said. 

A mother’s love 

As Stan grew up, the condition took a toll on his life, especially on his dealings with fellow children. 

Stan would have tantrums and other children would avoid playing with him, Almadin said. 

Instead of forcing other kids to play with her son, she created a place for him where he was free to play how he wants, a place far from the world’s judging eyes. 

“Nagpoprovide ako ng sarili niyang playground, sarili niyang mga laruan, kaya ang dami dami niyang laruan talaga para di na siya lumabas pa. Hindi naman siya binubully, pero ayaw siyang pansinin,” she said. 

However, time came when Stan started to yearn for something more. He wanted to experience being out there with kids his age and do the things they do.

She was afraid to let him go out at first and had her concerns about how the world would treat him.

But to the protective mother’s surprise, it wasn’t only her son who saw a different world outside; she, too, saw good in people that contradicted the fears she had. 

“Nung nag-lalaon na lumalabas siya, tumatakas siya, yung mga tao parang nakikita ko yung malasakit nila sa’kin na kahit pinapalo,sinusuntok sila ni Stan, hindi nila pinapatulan, tapos isusumbong na lang sakin,” she said. 

The world was not as scary as she thought, after all. 

“Dun ko nalaman na yung mga tao pala, may tinatago ring bait,” she said. 

Almadin is now supporting efforts to raise awareness about children with autism so that more people would understand their condition and would know how to deal with them. 

No regrets 

Despite having to live with the fact that Stan would probably need her for the rest of his life, Almadin never regretted having a child with autism. 

It never sat well with her when Stan’s father would say that it was not fair that other couples had “normal” children, she said. 

“Eh iyan ang binigay sayo eh. Hindi yung sasabihin mo na sayang, susumbatan mo pa yung Diyos na bakit ito yung binigay sakin. Kasi nasa isip ko, binigay sa ‘yo yan kasi kaya mo yan,” she added. 

Her ‘ticket to heaven’ 

Almadin cannot see Stan any way other than God’s most precious gift. 

“Parang gift siya sa amin na forever baby namin siya, kasi nga forever siyang ganun,” she said. 

Although Stan is expected to learn to be independent when it comes to some of his needs like taking a bath or eating on his own, it is unlikely that would be able to get a job, get married, or have children. 

She called Stan their “forever baby.” 

Almadin believes kids with autism can very well express a different kind of unconditional love, especially to the people they care about the most. 

“Hindi mo matatawaran yung pagmamahal na ibinibigay nila. Ikaw ‘yung lalapitan niya, kasi mommy ka niya,” she said. 

Having a kid with autism has also introduced Almadin to a version of herself that she never knew existed, which is why she considers Stan her “ticket to heaven.” 

She was able to realize the unceasing love she could give and the lengths she would go to for her kids, especially her precious Stan. 

She also became more compassionate and caring to other people. 

“Kaya ko din nasabing ticket to heaven ko si Stan kasi bumait ako ng dahil sa kanya, and dahil sa pagmamahal ko sa kanya magagawa ko pala lahat,” she said.