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What we’ve learned from break-ups

by Gaby Agbulos

BEA Alonzo and Dominic Roque have recently confirmed that they had broken up after three years of being in a relationship. 

This marks them as yet another celebrity couple who has bitten the dust, following the likes of KathNiel, KimXi, Elijah Canlas and Miles Ocampo, and Jericho Rosales and Kim Jones. 

While it’s easy to be saddened by these breakups, it’s important to note that it isn’t the end of the world. These people will find love again soon, and can for now take this time to work on themselves as separate people. 

If you’re having a hard time moving on from the breakups of your faves, one thing you can do is to take the end of their relationships as lessons to be learned for the people that you’re dating, as to avoid making the same mistakes. 

And if you’re unsure of the lessons to be learned with these couples, here are some that we at republicasia have taken away from our favorite celebs. 

  1. Your partner’s faults are not your own. 

It seems to have become a trend nowadays to blame yourself for the shortcomings of your partner – to feel that perhaps it didn’t work out because you were too much. 

“Maybe he cheated because I was always busy,” or “Maybe he fell out of love because I wasn’t interesting enough,” or “Maybe he got tired of listening to all my problems because I ranted to him too much,” or “Maybe he didn’t wanna get married because I wasn’t marriage material.” 

The reality of it, though, is that you’re never going to be too much if you’re with the right person. And you are especially not to blame for the shortcomings of your partner, because you are not responsible for the actions of another human being. 

All you can do in a relationship is love the person to the best of your abilities and show them that love in the ways that you can. 

What they do with that love, unfortunately, is beyond you, and some do take it all for granted. If they do take advantage of it, remember: that isn’t your fault, it’s theirs. 

Why blame yourself when all you ever did was love them?

  1. Never tolerate less than what you deserve. 

There are many cases wherein couples reach a point of stagnancy in their relationship – a point wherein they no longer grow, and stay stuck as the people they were during the start of the relationship. 

Kathryn Bernardo and Daniel Padilla, for example, were known almost exclusively for their films together, hence why Bernardo received so much praise for her role in A Very Good Girl because it was so different from the projects she usually worked on. People weren’t used to seeing her so bold, so confident, so herself, and everyone loved it. 

Sometimes, if you aren’t dating the right person, you’ll feel rather limited in the things you can and can’t do. There are also times wherein everything can be going right in a relationship, but a part of you still feels as if the two of you aren’t going anywhere. 

This can happen, for example, when you know you’re dating someone who doesn’t want the same things you want. If you want kids and they don’t, for example, or if you want to get married and they keep saying they don’t see themselves getting married any time soon. 

No matter how much you try to force things, know deep down that you’re never going to be happy if you don’t allow yourself to grow, whether it be with yourself or with the people around you.

  1. It’s okay to move on to better things.

If you look at these relationships, one thing they have in common is that many of them have been together for years. This just goes to show that no matter how long you’ve been together – whether it be three years, ten, or an entire lifetime – it’s never too late to do what you know is best for you. 

If you look at many of the people in these relationships, or perhaps even in the people you know who have broken up with their partners, oftentimes they’re a lot happier than they were in the relationship. 

Often when you’re in a relationship, you learn to put your needs aside, and start to prioritize your partner over yourself. Ultimately, however, you need to realize that there’s nothing wrong with focusing on yourself, and with putting yourself first, especially when you haven’t done so for so long. 

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, it’s important to know that you deserve to feel loved the way you are – to be supported in all the things you want to do, and if you don’t, then perhaps it’s time to move on to greener pastures. 

After all: if the likes of Kathryn Bernardo and Kim Chiu can do it, why can’t you?

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