UNLIKE the ‘baklas’ who were given a large variety of representation in the media, there aren’t a lot for the lesbians or ‘tomboy’ or ‘tibo’ as we call them in the Philippines.
Moira Dela Torre’s PPOP Love Song Entry, “Titibo-tibo” (2017), is one of those that introduced the concept to a wider audience.
However, the song received backlash for the negative connotation that it provided to its listeners.
“Titibo-tibo” (2017) created a generalized concept that a ‘tibo’ can be a straight ‘girly girl’ again by meeting the “right man”.
This isn’t the representation that the lesbian wants the world to see them as.
Moreover, they wish that their sexuality will be acknowledged away from the stereotypes that society has pushed upon them.
There are people from this generation who identify as lesbians who hold the same sentiments, starting from Laly Fernandez who mentioned that even when she first started to hear the song when it was released—despite everyone around her liking it because of the catchy melody, she secretly hated the song because the lyrics irked her.
Nevertheless, she pretended to like it.
She knew that the lyrics failed to represent her community properly, she mentions that “It perpetuates the notion na us lesbians exist kasi we haven’t found the “perfect man”. Yung song, suggests that being a lesbian is a temporary state or phase lang. It implies na the key to fix or cure homosexuality is by being with a man.”
This pushed her to feel disappointed and discouraged by the song, especially as she was still in the process of figuring out her sexuality—the song made her question her identity, asking questions like: “Is being a lesbian just really a phase? [Is it just] A temporary thing?”
And with her friends knowing her sexuality at the time, she was often asked if it was her favorite song, therefore making her feel very embarrassed.
In the same ideology, two lesbians who wish to stay anonymous, say that compared to Laly, when they first heard the song, they didn’t care much about the lyrics because they really enjoyed the lively rhythm since the song was very trendy and can be heard anywhere with its engaging tune.
One of them even mentioned the fact that Moira Dela Torre was at the peak of her career and everyone was listening to her unique voice; which made her listen to the song more and play it on the guitar.
But then, they eventually understood the lyrics as they sang it. They both agreed that the song did not represent the community at all.
One of them mentioned: “With a deeper understanding of gender issues now, I can certainly say that “Titibo-tibo” does not represent the lesbian community properly. The song uses the term “tibo,” which is commonly associated with the lesbian community. However, in the song’s context, it was appropriated to describe a straight woman with boyish traits, which weakens or even erases its original queer connotation and can be seen as misrepresenting those who identify with it.”
Just the usage of the term was more than enough to point out that the song was majorly inaccurate. The word “tibo” is a term used for lesbians, not for a style that a straight cis-woman chooses to adhere to.
And accompanying that issue is the problematic stereotype that the song is “…suggesting that women who exhibit boyish/masculine traits or do not conform to traditional standards of femininity are automatically suspected of being lesbians. This perpetuates a shallow view of gender expression and contributes to the stigmatization of both gender nonconformity (of heterosexual women) and the lesbian community.”
Moreover, like Laly, she also says “The song implies that homosexuality is merely a phase that can be changed when the “right guy” comes along. This narrative is problematic as it undermines the legitimacy and permanence of same-sex attraction, specifically, between two women—suggesting that it is something temporary or changeable.”
These stereotypes that were presented and communicated in “Titibo-tibo” (2017) immensely hurt the lesbian community, the community wishes for changes in the way society sees lesbians.
One of them is that any part of the LGBTQIA+ community shouldn’t be ridiculed and discriminated against—their experiences shouldn’t be a laughing matter to anyone as this is their experiences and self-identity, this pushes the lesbian community to be embarrassed in expressing themselves because they get insulted by these stereotypes.
Next, is that the way they express themselves (e.g. clothes, haircut, likes and dislikes) should not be used to interpret their sexuality.
Being a lesbian does not necessitate someone to want to look like a man, one can be a woman who is attracted to a woman while being feminine or masculine, depending on what feels right for them.
A lesbian emphasizes that “Lesbians, like any other people, are very diverse, whether in appearance, how we dress, our interests, lifestyles, hobbies, or how we present ourselves to the public.
There is no specific mold that fits every lesbian identity.
Assuming that lesbians have a specific “look” is limiting and offensive. Not only does it invalidate other lesbian identities that do not fit the standard, but it also discourages them from exploring and being confident in who they are.”
With this in mind, it was also mentioned that questions like “Sinong lalaki sa inyo?” are extremely offensive because then again, they are both women who identify as women who are attracted to women, why would someone in their relationship be the man?
It’s already such a tiring question that one could comment: “Kung ‘di naman kayo pinapakialaman ng mga lesbians sa buhay niyo, bakit niyo pinapakialaman ‘yung sa amin?”
Last but not least, the lesbian community wishes that while it is possible that such songs like “Titibo-tibo” (2017) can be relatable for people who had a questioning phase and had the same scenario as the song, for lesbians who did not turn straight by “meeting the right man”—the song just gets used against them.
“Sa mata pa rin kasi ng ibang tao, kapag bata ka pa at lesbian ka, pag-tagal ng panahon magiging straight ka rin.”
“People need to understand that our sexual orientation is a fundamental part of who we are and does not require any sort of “fixing” because it is not a flaw. Instead, society should be more open to diverse gender expressions, allowing everyone to live their lives on their own terms.”
In consideration of all the sentiments that the lesbian community shares, it is also to be put out there that “Titibo-tibo” should not be the kind of song that allies should play in blasting sound systems during Pride Month.
If you don’t understand the lyrics of the song, you shouldn’t be playing it during the month when the LGBTQIA+ community is protesting their rights and celebrating their lives.
With reports from Ashley Kristieanne Ignacio
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