FOR SOME REASON, it seems like bisexuals can never catch a break. 

A video posted by user Subway Takes with Kareem Rahma has recently gone viral. On this account, the host, Kareem, interviews a person on the subway in New York, asking for their opinions on random things. 

This particular video showed Kareem talking to a member of the LGBTQ+ community who said: “A lot of queer people lead hetero lives by not unpacking their homophobia.”

Kareem, who is a straight male, referred to these queer people as “quiet queers” who say that they are gay but in reality, are not. 

“They refuse to de-stigmatize, decolonize their brain; it’s like people can be queer in identity but still remain culturally straight,” the interviewee explained. 

When asked what being culturally straight meant, the interviewee stated that this was characterized by refusing to dig any deeper because the “ownership of the label “queer” absolves you from doing any further work.”

She added that there was also a constant process of reeducation needed for due diligence, referring directly to what they call “gentrifier bisexuals.”

The interviewee stated that these “gentrifier bisexuals” do not dig deeper into their “internalized homophobia,” and then said that these bisexuals are homophobic. 

Kareem ended the video by saying, alongside their interviewee: “Do the work.”

Responses online

Since then, there have been a flurry of mixed responses to Kareem’s video. 

Some agreed with the interviewee’s sentiments, explaining that she was talking in particular about people who haven’t yet examined why they want to conform to heteronormative ideals, and are struggling with internalized homophobia. 

Others have pointed out, however, that it was strange that in her statements, she targeted bisexuals in particular, a part of the LGBTQ+ community that are often judged for being “not gay enough” and, at the same time, “not straight enough,” either. 

“Queerness is inherently political [because] it exists in opposition to [cisgender and heterosexual] social norms and power structures,” one user on X wrote.

“Reducing queerness to sexuality exclusively ignores so many of the beautiful and radical parts of being queer.”

In reply to this, another user said: “But she’s not saying that. She’s saying some people are “socially straight” and aren’t queer enough for her liking. Who made her the arbiter of queerness?”

Users pointed out that there are many people living their authentic selves, even though what they do may not fit into the confines of what is considered to be “culturally queer.”

At present, there is a divide online as to whether or not the interviewee’s take is valid, or of it’s just thinly veiled biphobia… because why call out bisexuals – even labeling them to be gentrifiers – specifically?

In a thread discussing the video, a user on X states that in the interviewee saying bisexuals have not “decolonized their brain,” they are thus part of the colonial system, taking culture and space which doesn’t actually belong to them. Most likely this is to those bisexuals who are not in same-sex relationships.

“If queerness is policing and enforcing who isn’t and isn’t queer, or what is and isn’t a queer relationship, then it’s not queerness anymore,” they wrote.

“If queerness is the interviewee of that video complaining about gentrifier bisexuals, if it’s teens and 20-somethings screaming about bi women being “lesbophobic,” then it’s not queer anymore. It’s bigotry and hate. It’s a Donald Trump rally with rainbow flags.”

Continued bi erasure

Bisexual erasure has, unfortunately, long been happening. This is characterized by removing or ignoring bisexuality in terms of history, research, or media, when discussing the LGBTQ+ community.

Often this can be seen when bisexual men or women date someone of the opposite sex, and they are thus considered to be in heterosexual relationships. However, dating a man when you are a woman does not erase the fact that you like women, and vice versa.

Writer Thomas Yorke states that biphobia has been around for decades, officially defined by Bennett in 1992 as prejudice felt by bisexuals from both gay and straight people. 

Often, bisexual people are made to feel as if their sexual orientation isn’t valid; they’re told to just pick a side, or that they’re just confused. And it’s even more painful to hear rhetoric such as this from members of the LGBTQ+ community, who are aware of the struggles that queer people face but perpetuate them anyway.

This form of double discrimination – wherein it is felt from both gay and straight groups – often leads to several negative effects in bisexual people, such as further confusion in their identity, or depression / feeling like they aren’t enough for meeting standards expected of queer people. 

In reality, bisexual people are just as queer as anyone else. Why else would there be a “B” in the word “LGBT” if it were otherwise?

It is undeniably true that internalized homophobia exists in many, if not all, queer people, particularly because almost everything in life teaches you that being straight is the “normal” and “natural way” to be. If all you’ve seen your entire life in films, movies, education, and the like are straight couples, if course it’s going to affect you in some way. 

And it is also true that there are things that members of the LGBT+ community need to learn in order to get rid of their internalized homophobia, such as leaving behind gender roles in a relationship, and getting over the feeling of guilt when living as your true and authentic self, but there is no one way to be queer. There is no specific look that you need to have, nor lifestyle that you must explicitly follow. 

At the end of the day, what is important is that you live your truth. If you are living authentically, and you know in yourself that that is the real you, then it doesn’t matter what others may think or say. 

Remember: only you can define your sexuality.