To have your name called or to be even included.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have your name announced as one of the winners during the awarding ceremony? How rewarding shall it be, to be applauded, congratulated, and be cheered for by the crowd. It is every contestant’s dream—a proof that there is indeed a rainbow after a rain.
However, not everyone comes home victorious. Others grieve in silence questioning what they were lacking and what they could have done better, while others try their best to smile and still clap for others despite wanting to weep loudly. We’ve all been there. We have all been placed in a position where our names were never called and the people who have witnessed our journey try to console us by telling us we’ve done our best.
John Andrie Letrodo is one of them.
Determined to win an award in campus journalism press conferences, John Andrie has ignored defeat and has kept trying only to never win any single award at all. His first attempt was in editorial writing in his fifth and sixth grade. While in his ninth and tenth grade, he gambled his cards as he competed for collaborative desktop publishing. He has joined various competitions, but to him, campus journalism is the most fun and remarkable.
The Pain that Comes with Trying
John Andrie’s defeats never made him immune to another heartbreak every time he considered trying. Like every contestant, he has spent time doing endless training, attending various journalism sessions, and even reading all news stories that may show up during the competition. However, despite his efforts, he always ends up clapping for others while secretly grieving the fact that with his name not being called, he just lost the chance to bring pride to his school.
“I’m glad that I can see the joy in the other students’ eyes. But also (there is) hope that I will be happier if it was me,” he shared with Republicasia.
The feelings of regret inevitably kicks in. The idea that joining before could have possibly equipped him to do better only to still fall short as he tries—made him somehow resentful. Realizing that the competition is done and he won’t be able to go back in time brings a subtle ache in his heart.
The Loser Grieves in Stages too
Dreams are shattered and efforts exerted feels like they all go in vain—all that kills are valid reasons to lament, and those who bow down to winners mourn in stages too.
While champions are in cloud-nine for their victory, the defeated ones sink into a stage of denial wherein they are somehow hoping that there is a plot twist that works in their favor. As the reality sinks in, they’re made to embrace the fact that the winner has taken all.
Then comes the feeling of anger. John Andrie admitted he was never exempted from holding grudges upon defeat. As their Editor-in-Chief, he felt it was unfair that despite all the efforts he had poured in for the team, he ended up leaving empty-handed. The dedication he has given flashed before his eyes, only to be left behind as his colleagues celebrated their triumph.
Unknown to many, he felt an immense sadness. He felt at some point that he was lacking. He cried his frustrations out. His conversations with his predecessor somehow helped in easing the weight he was carrying in silence.
If he has a one that got away, that would be campus journalism. His eagerness to keep trying despite the rejections is proof of his determination to succeed as a young journalist. However, his last attempt seemed to be his sign for redirection. As John Andrie joined competitions such as investigatory projects, quiz bees, and research contests, fate seemed to have worked in his favor. This time, he gets to call himself a winner.
The Left-overs of the Champions
“Accepting defeat is also a victory for me. Because in my perspective, it’s not the reward we’re aiming (at), but rather the adventure, experience, and joy that we obtain all throughout the journey. For me, the award is just a bonus part of the competition,” John Andrie told Republicasia.
When winners have taken the spotlight, the applause, the praises, and the support, what’s left for the one the underdog is himself. After building an empire out of hope, sweat, time, and determination—how does one manage to start again from nothing?
While John Andrie may have felt like he’s a loser for falling short every time, in reality, his courage to keep on taking the risk is a genuine trait of a winner. He has never allowed his failures to determine what his capabilities are. He knows he can always try again—win or lose, for as long as there is a lesson learned, there is a victory.
