FROM ELEMENTARY school up to senior high, I had one pet: she was an old, lumpy Dachshund named Chowchow. I always felt that she was special because she was born with a bent tail.
Later on, I discovered that my grandfather had bought her because of that – because it made her cheaper than the rest.
I loved her despite this – perhaps even more so because of it. I felt that she was to be protected at all costs, and I spent our time together trying to do just that.
We all loved this dog, my grandmother especially so, because Chowchow was great at catching mice. Soon, she started losing her vision, but even toward the end of her life, she never stopped asking to be pet, to be held.
One day, after I’d come home from a sleepover, my grandma broke the heartbreaking news: she’d been run over by a car passing by. It was a hit-and-run; they didn’t even bother to get out of the car.
As someone who’s gotten used to hearing their pet’s claws tapping against the floor all the time, I felt haunted by this sudden silence. I had a hard time coping, often catching myself looking for Chowchow and forgetting that she was no longer going to come, no matter how many times I would call her.
This is, perhaps, the most heartbreaking thing about being a furparent, and it is the part that no one knows how to deal with: losing your pet. While others may deem you dramatic if you were to cry about the loss of the pet, other pet owners will know that the pain is akin to that of losing a child.
How do you move on when you lose your best friend? The hard truth of it all is that you don’t. But here are some ways that might make moving on a little easier.
- Talk about how you’re feeling.
Bottling up your emotions will do you no good, especially if you want to move on from the pain of losing your pet. Your feelings are not irrational, nor are you being overdramatic; losing a pet is just as painful as losing a person, and the mourning period should be treated as such.
Talk to your loved ones about how you’re feeling, or better yet, look for communities of people who have gone through the same experiences so that you can find people who truly understand what you’re going through.
You don’t have to be alone when going through this; you are surrounded by people who love you and are ready to support you as long as you let them do so.
- Reminisce on old memories.
Another way that could help you deal with the loss is to remember all the good times you and your pet shared.
This was my biggest regret when Chowchow passed away: I realized I barely had any photos or videos of her, and it made moving on a lot harder because I felt so guilty of the fact that I was starting to forget what she looked like.
When you can, compile old photos and videos of them, or the two of you, and put them in one album so that you can look through it whenever you’re feeling down.
You can also choose to create a scrapbook filled with memories of your pet or make a video with all the clips you have of them so that you don’t have to keep swiping over and over every time you miss them.
It, again, will do you no good to just pretend as if your pet never existed. Honor them by keeping their memory alive, and make sure that your memories of them stay pure even now that they’re gone.
- Find a way to memorialize your pet.
There are many ways to keep your pet’s memory alive. You can choose to spread their ashes in a special place, for example, such as a park that they frequented.
You can also put their ashes in your home, or have them placed in a piece of jewelry so that you can carry them with you anywhere you go.
As per The Humane Society, you can also have a piece of art commissioned of your pet so that you never forget how they look like: a painting, sculpture, or plush toy, for example. You can even get them tattooed on you so that you’re truly never apart no matter what.
- Get another pet when you’re ready.
When you feel that you’re ready, maybe consider getting another pet. However remember that you shouldn’t do this just to fill the void of losing your previous furbaby, because if that’s the only reason you’re doing it, then you may find yourself comparing the two, which just isn’t fair.
It took me years before my family and I purchased another dog, and though he is nothing like Chowchow, we love him just as much as we did the former.
As per one Reddit user’s device on this topic: “Closing yourself off to pets isn’t an invalid response. But if you do open yourself up for it again, always remember that you can’t get that back, but you can love another just as much for different reasons.”
- Accept that you may never move on – and that’s okay.
Remember that you spent your entire life giving your pet the best life that you possibly could have and that even though they weren’t able to say it, they loved you with all their heart.
When you lose someone, it’s something you never really recover from. You will always find parts of them lingering around; you will always be searching for them in places they will never be.
My grandfather who’d bought Chowchow passed away before she did, and it made me love and cherish her even more because I felt that she was a part of him that I could still hold onto, still hug any time I missed him. When she died, too, it felt like I was losing two people.
The grief you carry from the ones you lose does weigh on you, and even now, I still feel a heaviness on my shoulders. And at first, dealing with it was hard; I felt like I was being crushed like I couldn’t breathe, all the time.
Eventually, though, you start to become stronger and stronger. Eventually, you can lift that weight up more and more, until one day you just learn to live with it.
I wish I could tell you when that day will come because right after it happens, you can’t help but be a bawling mess for the days to come. But know that it will come.
One day, you will start to feel better, and then another, you may finally be okay. Know that in time, you will reunite with them again, and you’ll have forever to make up for all that lost time.
