I DIDN’T expect a memoir to shake me out of my 20-something haze, but Crying in H Mart did just that. It forced me to confront the complexities of my emotions with this journey in adulthood.
Crying in H Mart is a 2021 memoir by Michelle Zauner. It is her debut book that talks about her experience as a Korean-American discovering both cultures, the complex relationship with her mother, and eventually losing her mother to cancer. I liked how the title seems like it was chosen randomly, but I interpret it as trying to find a connection– even in the most unexpected places.
Reading this memoir felt deeply personal. Her experiences as a Korean-American, struggling to find her identity in both cultures, mirror the struggles many of us face. I found myself reflecting on my own heritage. It prompted me to consider the influences of my background and how it shaped my values and upbringing. I saw parallels as I also try to discover myself. The feeling of belonging and acceptance is a universal feeling that transcends across cultures.
“My mother struggled to understand me just as I struggled to understand her.”
What struck me the most is that the mother-daughter relationship is more complex than it seems. As a daughter, I have understood that everything in this book is just a glimpse of their life. It reminded me of my own relationship with my mother. How I antagonize the things she did for me when I was young. It was a bittersweet moment to finally realize the lens I lacked before. The intricacies and depth of the bond are incomparable. The emotions I feel towards my mother can’t be encapsulated in a single word. It is a mosaic of every love, laughter, sadness, pain, temper, and yearning towards her. However, all I know is that despite everything, love endures above all.
“The lessons she imparted, the proof of her life lived on in me, in my every move and deed. I was what she left behind.”
This memoir’s writing is tender in its sense. How she weaved the memory, food, and grief into a narrative that resonates even up to the last page. It made me remember the moments when my mother woke up earlier than me to prepare my food and pack my lunch, or how we bickered even over the smallest things. Those moments, no matter how big or small, become the stories we carry.
Crying in H Mart is a must-read book in your 20s because it confronts a universal experience we try to ignore in our youth: living and losing. In an age where we’re just trying to navigate adulthood, this memoir is a gentle but powerful reminder that growing up sometimes means holding space for both pain and joy, for what we’ve lost and what we’ve inherited.
Reading this in your 20s is timely because it shows an age of recklessness and reflection. It helps young adults appreciate the value in simple things, such as doing groceries and sharing meals, which become more important when we look back on memories. It mirrors the journey many of us in our 20s are dealing with: self-identity and reconciliation.
The book encourages us to carry the love and growth from people and places who raised us, and reconnect with our loved ones while we have time. This memoir doesn’t just stay with you; it changes the way you live, love, and remember.
