AT ONE point in time, the Philippines was considered the 8th friendliest country in the world, and the 1st in Asia, as published in Forbes Magazine. 

This was based on factors such as their ability to befriend locals, their capacity to integrate themselves into the community, and their level of ease when fitting into their culture. 

In 2022, the Philippines was once again part of the top 10 friendliest countries in the world, this time from the 2022 Condé Nast Traveler Readers’ Choice Awards.

When you ask people from other countries what they think about Filipinos, they’ll probably mention words like “hospitable” or “friendly.”

“The country has often been praised for its seemingly effortless ability to lavish genuine hospitality on visitors, foreigners, or expatriates,” Condé Nast Traveler stated. 

For a person living in the Philippines, however, who is able to see just what happens in this country every day, and does not have the privilege of being white, the story is much, much different. 

The Mariteses and scammers of the world

Hospitality is a trait Filipinos are known for, sure. But they are not exempt from giving criticism. Why do you think we’ve coined the term “Marites,” reserved for people who live their lives judging and talking about the lives of others?

There is undoubtedly one Marites in every person’s life: the tita who asks why you’ve gotten so fat, for example, or asks you why you’ve done so little with your life. 

The Marites can come in all shapes and forms and this is one piece of evidence that shows that we aren’t as kind as we present ourselves to be. 

Who knows? Perhaps, without even realizing it, you yourself have become a Marites as well.

And while Filipinos have constantly come out on top in surveys saying that they act kindly toward foreigners, many showed great disappointment in one tricycle driver’s actions after he charged an American man PHP 550 for a mere 10-minute walk. 

This is not an isolated case, and this issue isn’t limited to just tourists, either. How, pray tell, does a practice such as this show kindness? 

The idea of resiliency

One other trait Filipinos are known for is the idea of resiliency – that no matter what life throws at us, we’re able to bounce back.

It can be noted, though, that this isn’t necessarily a good thing. When exactly do we cross the line from being admirably resilient to being plain old human doormats? 

Take, for example, the government’s treatment of Filipinos. 

The Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) estimates that there are 25.24 million poor Filipinos as of the first semester of 2023, but instead of finding ways to help these people, or instead of demanding change for those who are struggling, we turn a blind eye.

From my perspective

As a child, I remember seeing a beggar outside of my school’s gate. He was carrying a young boy in one hand and had a cup full of change in the right. 

Before I got in our car, I gave him what I had left from my allowance that day: a fifty-peso bill.

When I entered the car, what I didn’t expect was my guardian scolding me for giving him such a large amount. 

There’s a belief that now exists that you shouldn’t help these people because you don’t know where the money is going – that they may use it for drugs, or that they may be scamming you. When we see a person approaching us, asking us for change, we pretend as if they don’t exist – as if they aren’t human beings. 

Yes, Filipinos are resilient, but I don’t think that that is a trait that’s been developed by choice. 

I think it’s a trait that we have because, without it, many of us wouldn’t survive. 

How, after all, do you deal with the thought that things are never going to get better? That this is as good as life gets? What do you do when your rights are ignored every day, when there are thousands dying out on the streets, and yet it doesn’t seem like your life is your government’s priority?

What do you do when there are people starving while your country’s leaders are planning to put up a 32-billion peso complex just for Taylor Swift to host a concert here? What do you do then? 

You do your best. You try to help. At most, you try to be kind.

Just one act of kindness per day

Every day in this country, no matter who you are or where you are from, there are people struggling. The issues mentioned earlier are only a tiny fraction of the bad things happening in the world.

It’s easy to look away when you come from a place of privilege, and it’s easy to just say, “What do you mean? Of course I’m a good person.”

But are you really? 

I myself am guilty of being a Marites from time to time. I look away when I am asked for spare change. Sometimes I feel as if I am mad and annoyed at everything and everyone.

It’s hard to deal with all the issues that we are facing nowadays. Every day there’s another problem, another human rights violation. It literally never ends. 

That’s why, above all, we need to find the will to always be kind – and with how the world is today, that isn’t easy. 

No matter how frustrating life or other people can be, the fact of the matter is that we don’t know what other people are going through. Everyone has a sh*tty day here and there, but there are others who feel as if their existence is filled with nothing but bad luck.

Whether it be a small act or a big one, you never know when people need this bout of kindness the most. Remember: even the smallest of acts can change a person’s life, no matter how cliché that adage can be.

It’s a cliché for a reason, right?

In one way or another, you have the ability to shape both your life and that of other people. It is a language that everyone can understand – one that everyone can appreciate. 

Don’t be like me, who has taken so long to realize just how bitter and unkind they have become. Whether it be opening the door for someone, giving some spare change to a stranger, telling someone you like their outfit, or offering to lend an ear to a friend who’s going through something, there are many things you can do to prove that there is still kindness in this world.

Sure, it can be hard. There are times when you’ve had a bad day and all you want to do is scream, or there are moments wherein you feel as if there is no purpose to what you’re doing, but remember that kindness expects no compensation. 

All we can do is hope that over time, our actions will be enough for others to pass this kindness forward, as well.