BACK IN 2020, the Commission on Population and Development (CPD) recorded the lowest number of babies born in 24 years. 

Aside from this, the 2022 Civil Registration and Vital Statistics (CRVS) also found that the number of registered births has declined from 2013 to 2022. 

It seems that over time, with each new generation that passes, fewer and fewer people are looking to have kids. It is surprising to see this, however, in a country like the Philippines, wherein the family is viewed to be the center of everything. 

One cannot help but wonder: Does this belief still ring true? Do new generations still want to have kids? And if they don’t, what is their reasoning behind this? 

Gen Zs explain

19-year-old Zoe Faustino’s realization came to her at 18 years old, which was the same time she accepted that she was a lesbian. 

She has three reasons behind this decision: financial stability, mental stability, and overall freedom. 

She explains that, as a lesbian, there are only so many ways she can have a child, and each option is rather costly. She would also have to spend hundreds of thousands of pesos each year just to financially support the said child. 

Aside from this, Zoe shares that she’s been diagnosed in the past with a panic disorder alongside depression and ADHD. 

“These illnesses already make it difficult for me to take care of myself, what more a person dependent on me?” she reasoned. 

“I wouldn’t wanna risk traumatizing a child and unintentionally continuing the cycle of abuse.” 

She also opened up about how one of her biggest fears was “being reduced to a mother.”

She explained: “While the title is noble, I’ve witnessed so many talented, intelligent women abandon their dreams and interests for the sake of their children.”

And while there is nothing wrong with doing so, Zoe has many hobbies and has days wherein all she wants is time by herself to work or relax. She realizes that having a child would make it harder to devote time to both herself and her partner. 

21-year-old Arhen Chester Isla’s decision, on the other hand, started while he was going through puberty. During this time, he realized the struggles of raising a child given that, at the time, his family was going through some financial dilemmas.

Aside from this, he was also not receiving the care and support needed at such a detrimental age. 

Like Zoe, Arhen states reasons of being financially incapable, as well as not being in a good mental state, as reasons behind his decision. 

In forming a family, he believes that there are many things to take into consideration, such as family planning, parenting style, financial capabilities, time, effort, and career. 

Another reason for his decision is finding the right person to have children with. He shares how when he was younger, his parents separated; his parents then passed him off to his grandparents so they could focus more on their careers while, at the same time, financially supporting Arhen. 

“As a child and up to these days, I still cannot stomach the idea and pain of not

having them in the most important years of my life that could have honed the person I

am now,” he shared. 

“It would be hard for me to be convinced until I am already firm of my capabilities and partner.”

Life can be fulfilling without children

Even in the present day, there is a belief that a person’s life isn’t complete if they don’t get married and have kids. 

Often, if you vocalize your decision to stay childless, you are met with a flurry of questions: “Isn’t that selfish?” “Who will take care of you when you’re older?” “Don’t you think you’ll come to regret that later on?”

Despite these societal expectations still being prevalent, some are trying to fight against the stigma, deciding to live the lives that they want to regardless of what others may say. 

“To imply that our main purpose on earth is to breed and multiply is strange on its own, but it’s even worse when people with that mindset go as far as to dismiss or even criticize the accomplishments or lives of those without children,” Zoe commented. 

In the future, Zoe wants to focus on her own self-healing, as well as bettering her mental health. After this, she plans to explore different careers to see what best aligns with her passions, eventually gaining financial stability to live a peaceful life with her girlfriend. 

Similarly, Arhen wants to dedicate the future to his career, as well as his skills in arts and crafts, literature, and the fight for the rights of Indigenous people and the LGBTQIA+ community, among others. 

Aside from this, he wants to take this time to make friends and fulfill his own needs and wants. 

While it is true that nothing is set in stone – that decisions such as these can change over time – it is important to respect them anyway. After all, what good does it do to belittle the decisions of others, especially when they don’t even affect you?

“Respect is one of the things that we can easily provide for people, especially in their decisions,” Arhen stated.

“These stereotypes do not create a safe environment for our community, [and] we should be able to freely express and go for the things we think are going to make us feel better.”