THE hardest part of loving someone is when you give your all—your very best—only to be met with indifference and a follow-up message that says, “Sorry, I just saw you as a friend.”
Suddenly, you begin to question everything that once felt so real: The late-night conversations, the constant updates, the hours spent on video calls, and the planned dates. You wonder if you misunderstood everything. Were you the only one who felt there was something more? Were all those moments just casual interactions to them while to you, they meant the world?
Then, slowly, you begin to blame yourself for not being enough, for not being worthy of the love you were so ready to give. You forget that you are lovable just as you are, and there is nothing wrong with your feelings. The truth is, it’s not always about being “good enough.” Sometimes, people aren’t ready for a relationship, or they already have someone else in their heart. While that doesn’t make the rejection hurt any less, it does mean the reason isn’t your inadequacy.
“It was in 2017 when I met the girl of my dreams, the very same girl who would go on to break my heart more than once.” Heus shared with RepublicAsia.
He admired many girls before, but that time was different. “There was something about her that stood out, something I couldn’t ignore—her genuine and kind heart.”
She gave him a gift and looked at him in a way that made him feel truly seen. At that moment, Heus realized he had fallen deeper. “I knew what I wanted and I decided to pursue her wholeheartedly.”
He gathered the courage to tell her in person but before he could even begin, she turned him down.
Nonetheless, Heus didn’t stop. His feelings are real, and his intentions are pure. He decided to pursue the girl the second time around. “I met her parents and asked for their permission to court her, a gesture meant to show my sincerity and dedication.”
From there, they started going out. “I gave her gifts and visited her house just to spend time with her.”
Everything seemed to be going smoothly at least from Heus’s perspective, not until the second rejection came. She told him she didn’t have feelings for him and could only offer friendship. Heartbroken and disappointed, Heus found it hard to take in. “It was hard for me to accept, no matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise.”
He cried, but the pain in his heart lingered. All he wanted was to give his love, but he was met with the harsh truth that there was no future for them.
He decided to move on and love himself more. “With God’s grace, I focused on my studies, career, and personal growth.”
However, everything changed when he had another conversation with the girl who broke his heart twice. “After all the progress I had made, it felt like I was suddenly back to zero.”
He found himself again trying to gather the courage to pursue her for the third time. His feelings ignited when she let him drive her home, which happened more than once. “Those moments genuinely made me happy. I thought she truly appreciated me and that the effort I put in was exactly what she wanted.”
But that happiness was short-lived—she rejected him again. This time, he knew it had to end. “I finally decided to stop chasing her, cut off all contact, and focus even more on discovering myself.”
The heartbreaks made Heus stronger and wiser than he was before. He learned many valuable lessons during those difficult times. Here are some of the insights through those experiences on when to pursue and when to stop:
Pursue
When your intentions are pure
“When you pursue someone, make sure your feelings are genuine. And your intentions are pure.” Nick, who had endured rejection countless times told RepublicAsia.
It’s unfair to start something only to give up halfway and leave the other person hanging. People’s hearts are not for trial and error. They deserve to be valued, protected, and chosen. So stop playing games, and be sure of what you truly want.
At the end of the day, when your intentions are pure, you don’t lose anyone; they lose you.
When you see the future with them
Pursuing someone without any plans for the future is unfair. “If you don’t see that person as someone you could build a life with, it’s better to stop.”
We’re not messing around. Don’t waste the time and emotions of someone who wants a genuine, healthy relationship.
Stop
When it greatly affects you in a bad way
“It became clear that continuing wasn’t an option after being hurt repeatedly for the same reasons,” Heus emphasized. “Stopping was necessary, peace was gone, and mental health was suffering.”
If the person you’re pursuing makes you doubt your worth and constantly chooses others over you, it’s time to let go. You deserve someone who makes you feel valued, cherished, and lovable.
When you love, make sure to keep a part of that love for yourself. Don’t give your all to someone who’s only with you out of convenience. Pray to God, and allow Him to heal you. He knows what your heart needs most.
When there is no hope
“Don’t keep pushing forward when reality slaps you with the truth that there’s no hope–know when to stop.”
Don’t push something that is not going to work. If the person does not like you, don’t force yourself. You deserve someone who chooses you and wants to be with you.
Maybe the reason you are facing rejection is that it is preparing you to become better so that when you finally meet “the one,” you are ready emotionally, mentally, and financially.
With reports from Ria Corocoto
