SCHOLARS are recognized as the crème de la crème, the best of the best, and the ones with the brightest futures. Their academic efforts, prowess, and achievements are rightfully rewarded with financial support that alleviates their financial burdens.

Even so, behind their esteemed titles and accolades are scores of stereotypes, misconceptions, and mistreatments that need to be dismantled—from unrealistic expectations, marginalization, financial pressures, and the state of being constantly overworked.

Scholars are humans, too, prone to the same anxieties and struggles. At their core, they are also individuals who are striving to be the best versions of themselves and to have a future that they can be safe, secure, and proud of.

RepublicAsia spoke with Gen Z scholarship grantees about their most difficult challenges in the hopes of empowering their peers and cultivating a kinder environment.

Immense pressure

Many view scholars as having a life of perfect grades, honorable leadership, being granted quality education, and social recognition. However, it’s crucial to understand that these students often face pressures beyond academics. The title itself can be a double-edged sword bearing honor and the weight of expectations.

Maddie, a 19-year-old Gen Z scholar, struggles with the pressure to meet both her own and others’ expectations. For much of her student life, a scholarship has been a constant companion, and she feels that people expect her to be a prodigy or someone at par with the world’s geniuses.

She shared her frustrations with the stereotype: “Because I happen to have a scholarship, people start expecting me to be as great as Einstein. My ego and pride come into play with the fact that I always aim to surpass those expectations—that standard out of sheer pettiness.”

Most times, the growing expectations ended up complicating things for Maddie. She said, “If people think I’m supposed to be as good as the brightest, I take it upon myself to be brighter than the brightest. It’s a massive blow to my pride to have people stop believing in what I can do for occasional mishaps or mistakes that happen when I try to let go for a while.”

Little rest

It’s a constant mental battle to stay afloat, given that competitiveness and higher standards are unavoidable, regardless of the type of scholarship you have. Rest becomes the least of your concerns because you believe you have not done enough to deserve one, you are far behind the goal, or you are afraid others will think you are slacking off.

21-year-old Aaron Bernardino, a former scholar, recounted his struggles. “When I was still a scholarship grantee, I remember being under enormous pressure—both internal and external—at all times, insomuch that every time an assessment of mine had been graded, I would hurriedly open my phone’s calculator to compute my new standing grade in the class.”

Bernardino was also a perfectionist. He frequently dwelled on the quality of his work, which became extremely stressful because he was trying to meet everyone’s expectations.

When stress overwhelmed his entire being, he considered resting but stopped himself for fear of falling behind. He recalled, “All I wanted was to truly be able to rest back then, and I did not even allow myself to experience something as simple as that.”

Feels like begging to be worthy of education

When asked what they dream of, most Filipinos will say quality education or obtaining a degree. While some people achieve success without studying, a degree provides access to career opportunities and, essentially, a visible path to a secure future, which is why people strive to be qualified for scholarships.

With their futures in line, those who aspire to be scholars are confronted with the reality that they must be recognized as people in need—a spotlight on their lack of privileges that they do not wish to be noticed for.

Bernardino also experienced this conflict. “When it comes to applying for scholarships, it [sometimes] feels dehumanizing to explain how in need of financial assistance you are. It feels as though I am begging to become deserving of an education, even though it is a right that everyone should have access to,” he said.

No room for failure

In my experience, the most crucial scholarship of all would be being a university scholar because tuition rates in universities cost a fortune for families like mine who suffered familial losses and at the same time lacked generational wealth.

At a young age, I saw how my older brother became the man of the house by working instead of continuing his studies; and how my mother strived to manage her sari-sari store. Although we do get enough of our basic needs, our socioeconomic privileges are limited—we must be cautious of our spending in order to build a strong safety net.

As the youngest, not once did they ask me to contribute to the family’s finances because they had everything under control—that I had nothing to worry about but to enjoy my youth. Being pained by their silent battles, I helped by studying hard and qualifying for a scholarship. No more nearly PHP 500,000 tuition fee in an esteemed institution—less financial burdens.

Facing challenges, I nearly lost my university scholarship about two or three times. There was a time when I cried myself to sleep for a month, fearing that my family would have to struggle for me to study smoothly.

Would you choose to be a scholar in a different life?

Maddie would rather pursue education without a scholarship. She said, “Maybe, without a scholarship, I would be able to breathe more freely or I would finally be able to breathe. Maybe, without all the things that paint me as a shining gold medal, I would have no reason to keep my pride and ego so protected.”

However, she did not completely disregard the value of having one. “[From a different perspective,] I would still want that scholarship [as] I have become so familiar with the constant pressure that I don’t think there could be a me that would exist without it.”

Bernardino also wishes to pursue an education without a scholarship. He said, “Without a scholarship, I would have been able to allow myself to commit some mistakes and not punish myself for doing so. I would have permitted myself to be more human.”

Being a scholar is an admirable accomplishment that should be celebrated and taken as an opportunity for growth, but scholarship grantees are plagued by high expectations, rigid standards, a lack of socioeconomic safety nets, and overall inequality.

We hope that as time passes, scholarships will relieve students of pressure and will not let them to lose themselves in the process of securing their futures.

With reports from Rianna Mae B. Santiago