THE term “casual” has become a double-edged sword in the ever-evolving landscape of modern dating. While some find it a liberating way to explore connections without the weight of commitment, for others, it can lead to confusion, heartbreak, and emotional turmoil.
It is a word that carries different meanings from one person to another, especially in an era where relationships seem to be constantly redefined by the whims of the digital age.
With Gen Z leading the charge in reshaping dating norms, it is crucial to unpack what “casual” really means in today’s world.
Is it a free-spirited exploration of relationships, or does it often mask deeper insecurities and miscommunication? As casual relationships grow in popularity, how can one navigate these waters without losing themselves in the process?
Casual relationship in this era
The term “casual” in dating is not new, but its meaning has evolved with changing societal attitudes towards relationships. In previous generations, casual dating may have had clearer boundaries—people weren’t expecting much beyond a good time.
However, today’s dating landscape, shaped by dating apps, hookup culture, and a heightened sense of individuality, has blurred the lines of what casual means.
Social media have radically transformed how people connect. Casual relationships, often promoted as a fun and low-pressure way to meet new people, have become more common than ever.
Swiping right or sending a quick message can lead to a night out, a brief fling, or an undefined “situationship” that does not fit into the traditional boxes of dating.
However, with the ease of finding partners comes a paradox: while technology has simplified meeting people, it has also complicated the qualities of communication.
Gen Z’s perspective on casual relationships
In an exclusive interview with republicasia, Gen Zs shared their experiences–both good and bad–on being in casual relationships. Their stories reflect both the freedom and confusion that come with these types of arrangements.
Roxanne Eglip, 18, found herself navigating the complexities of a casual relationship earlier this year. Despite knowing the nature of their connection, confusion quickly set in, leaving her heartbroken.
The relationship was inconsistent—there were weeks of no communication, followed by spontaneous reconnections. What began as fun and excitement soon turned into a deep sense of emptiness.
“Siyempre, it was confusing kasi ano nga ba’ng meron samin, ‘di ba?” Eglip recalled. After weeks of casual dating, she was hit with a blunt revelation.
“Bigla niyang sinabi sakin na may nakakausap siyang bago at balak niya ligawan,” Eglip added.
That moment became the confirmation that what they shared was nothing more than a fleeting experience—something temporary, but still capable of leaving a lasting impact.
Mark Jhondel Roña, a 24-year-old young professional, found himself in a similar situation. His experience with casual dating followed a familiar pattern: ambiguity, mixed signals, and constant questioning of where things stood.
“The guy approached me, and he never made his intentions clear, so I assumed it was casual,” Roña shared. However, as time went on, the other person’s behavior began to blur the lines of their arrangement. “Eventually, may mga actions na siya that somehow made me feel confused,” Roña said, echoing Eglip’s sentiment of emotional disorientation.
Roña’s relationship was a classic case of push and pull—periods of closeness followed by unexplained distance. The lack of clear communication led to growing uncertainty. “And that, somehow, made me keep asking myself the question: ‘Ano ba kami?’” he added.
For Roña, the challenge of casual relationships is rooted in the lack of clarity, which leads to emotional turmoil.
“Sobrang importante talaga to discuss expectations regardless sa kung anong klase ng relationship yung meron kayo. Kaya siya importante [kasi] it really saves time. If expectations are made, both parties won’t have to do so much or give more than what’s expected.”
Roña emphasized how important it is for both people to bring the same level of energy and commitment to a relationship—something often missing in casual arrangements.
“Yung person should have the same energy that I have,” he said, and when this balance is not present, it leads to frustration.
“I even asked myself if deserve ko ‘yong ganung klaseng treatment.”
The rise of situationships
While casual dating is one thing, situationships take ambiguity to another level. A situationship is defined as a romantic relationship without clarity or labels.
Both parties avoid commitment, keeping the relationship unofficial. In these cases, neither person can demand more from the other because nothing was ever formally defined.
Fern Elloenaie Grace Redoña, 21, shared her experience of a two-month situationship. Although she knew the nature of the relationship, she still took the risk.
“I liked the guy I was in a situationship with. He confessed first and after that hindi niya na ko pinursue. I thought ipu-pursue niya ako kasi we’re acting like a real couple na. Pero since it’s a situationship, meron talagang times na maf-feel ko yung line na dina-draw niya sa kung anong meron kami.” Redoña explained.
Despite her hope that things might change, the relationship remained one-sided. “I thought maybe, soon, he’d realize he wanted to pursue me,” she added.
Eventually, the lack of commitment took a toll on her mental health. “Parang gusto lang niya ako kasi ako yung nandiyan at pag di niya ko kailangan, di niya ako kakausapin. Kinakausap niya lang ako pag convenient sa kaniya. ” she said.
For Redoña, the pain was a necessary wake-up call.
When is casual just casual?
One of the central questions for many Gen Zs engaging in casual relationships is: when is casual just casual?
The very nature of these arrangements suggests freedom from the emotional complexities of traditional relationships, but feelings often become entangled despite the intention to keep things light.
Defining casual is subjective.
For some, it might mean having an open and flexible arrangement where both parties are free to see other people. For others, it could be a close emotional connection with no labels but an underlying sense of exclusivity.
This lack of a standard definition is what creates confusion.
For Roña, casual relationships often lead to emotional attachment when there is a lack of clear boundaries. “Eventually, magle-lead sa emotional attachment ang casual relationship kasi at some point, nag-share kayo ng time talking to each other, time to know each other. So at some point, you might get attached to that person.”
“Mahirap pumasok sa ganyang relationship kasi hindi mo alam ang igagalaw mo, hindi mo alam kung hanggang saan ang karapatan mo, hindi mo alam kung may karapatan kang mafeel ‘yong ganto kasi nga “casual” lang.” Shared Eglip
Eglip also highlighted how important it is to establish clarity early on, saying, “Kung hindi niya i-clear ang intention niya after a month, I’ll walk away kasi nga it was, somewhat, draining eh.”
This undefined territory leaves many young people questioning the status of their relationship, often leading to emotional frustration.
Set boundaries upfront
Setting boundaries and discussing intentions early can prevent misunderstandings. Roña shared, “Setting boundaries will go well for both parties. Especially that one can say or do anything that does not affect the boundaries that were set.”
For casual relationships to function smoothly, both parties need to agree on what is and is not acceptable.
But even with clear boundaries, there is always the risk of emotional attachment, as Roña pointed out. “If they’re not emotionally into you, the relationship won’t work, especially if it’s casual.”
Boundaries act as a safeguard, but they are not foolproof against the unpredictability of feelings. The emotional consequences of casual dating can arise when one person assumes that “casual” means no strings attached while the other is emotionally invested.
Do not lose yourself
If you find yourself caught in the ambiguity of a casual relationship or situationship, it is important to protect your emotional well-being.
Here are some tips, gathered from those who have been through similar experiences, to help you break free and stay true to yourself:
- Validate your feelings.
Acknowledge that it is perfectly okay to want love and commitment. Recognize your own worth and understand that expecting to be valued and prioritized is not asking for too much.
- Accept the nature of situationships and casual dating.
Be clear from the beginning that a situationship is not the same as a committed relationship. Don’t convince yourself that it will change if it’s not defined that way from the start.
- Assess the other person’s intentions.
Take time to evaluate their character, values, and approach to relationships. Ask yourself if what they offer aligns with what you truly want and need.
- Find peace in being alone.
Learn to be comfortable with your own company. Not every relationship is meant to fill an emotional void—sometimes, it’s okay to just be alone.
- Stick to your principles.
Stay true to your integrity, dignity, and core values, no matter what happens. Maintaining your sense of self is crucial in any relationship, especially in casual ones that may lack clear boundaries.
Protect yourself
While casual relationships can offer freedom, the emotional risks are real. Eglip, Roña, and Redoña’s experiences serve as a reminder to protect oneself. Knowing when to walk away and setting clear intentions from the start is crucial in avoiding emotional fallout.
Casual relationships should, in theory, be simple and freeing. But, as many young people have discovered, they are often fraught with emotional complexity. For Gen Z, the challenge lies in finding the balance between enjoying the excitement of casual dating and protecting themselves from its potential emotional toll.
Casual relationships are a growing part of the dating landscape for Gen Z. But, as the stories of Eglip, Roña, and Redoña demonstrate, they are not without their emotional hazards.
Whether it is due to unclear intentions or the unpredictability of human connection, many young people find themselves caught between the excitement of something new and the ache of uncertainty.
As casual relationships become more normalized, the need for open communication and emotional honesty becomes even more important. Perhaps the ultimate lesson for Gen Z is learning how to balance the thrill of casual dating with the emotional complexities that inevitably arise.
With reports from Mayen Medroso and Merry Nizza Llanto
