AS mothers weave a fabric of love through threads of duties and roles, they might find their clothes worn out as taking care of themselves becomes the last priority.

Meanwhile, in the marathon of life, breadwinners race with eyes fixed on meeting their family’s needs yet responsibilities hush the whistle that signals personal care.

Working students, on the other hand, navigate their way out of school deadlines and work tasks, so moments of self-care get lost in the shadowed corners of their rooms.

As the Self-Care Month ends on July 24, we ask: are they truly chained to a reality where self-care finds its home at the bottom of their lists? Or are there still mothers, breadwinners, and working students who know the necessity of pausing to prioritize themselves?

It does not take two to tango

Being a mother is tough, even more so if you are a single parent.

But it is not an obstacle to Maribel Jalando-on, a single mom who has shown unwavering strength and resilience in raising her child.

As a reservation assistant at a five-star luxury resort, Jalando-on works on a rotating schedule. She works even on her days off to earn more money and accrue leave days for her daughter’s birthday.

“Being a solo parent is quite challenging, especially when it comes to financial aspects since there’s no support from the father from the start,” she told Republicasia.

Jalando-on said that she’s been blessed to have a supportive family since the start of her motherhood.

Despite all her responsibilities, she still recognizes the importance of prioritizing herself.

“Of course, I have to give time to myself as well. I travel to different places to get peace of mind whenever I get stressed,” the single mother said.

Jalando-on added that it was crucial to think of themselves, too, by doing the things that make them happy, getting complete sleep, visiting the spa, and taking a vacation.

To other mothers, putting yourselves first is not perceived as essential because your roles and duties are always on top of the list. Yet, as a mother too, she asserted, “It’s not bad if you prioritize yourself after all. You deserve a ‘me time,’ too.”

Winning at personal care

20-year-old Rezia Antiquiera is about to become her contract regularized as a call center agent. She was a former service crew member at McDonald’s in her freshman year in college.

Many of you may ask: why does she have these work experiences alongside her responsibilities as a student? Antiquiera’s answer? “[It’s] particularly for the salary.”

Working from Monday to Friday from 10 PM to 7 AM, Antiquiera has been the main provider of her family’s needs, all while studying.

“It was hard, and it was an understatement to say that it was just that. Balancing work and studies is hard because sometimes I feel 24 hours isn’t enough for a whole day,” she said.

The breadwinner said that while full-time students enjoy their weekends, she uses these days to catch up with her academic responsibilities. She also views holidays as an opportunity to earn double pay instead of spending time with her family.

Antiquiera’s support has undoubtedly helped her family, especially in paying their bills. With her salary, she has enough for her school allowance, transportation fare, and, most importantly, personal care.

When asked about her self-care, the 20-year-old said, “I’m prioritizing my self-care, getting a full 8 hours up to 10 hours, sometimes, of sleep on weekends because that’s the only time I can get enough sleep, and probably buying things or products for personal or skin care.”

Antiquiera agrees with her fellow breadwinners that it’s challenging to think of one’s self while supporting the family, so she shared some tips:

“Get enough sleep if you can; drink lots of water. Juggling both studies and work can be really draining, so it’s best to take care of your body and health. Take vitamins, please, and also, it’s so important to not abuse yourself. Take your days off seriously, and don’t be too hard on yourself.”

No guidebook

Czar Ian “Zarena” Arcales is a 21-year-old working student driven by the need to cover her college expenses and personal needs.

“College is expensive. And despite already being a scholar and enrolled in a public school, I still have my personal needs that I don’t want to burden my parents with,” she said.

While other college students get rest after a long day at school, Arcales turns her focus on her work as a security reviewer at Brandshield. She has been with the company for eight months, battling her fights silently, with humor as her companion.

Arcales said that her current salary is enough to sustain her school and personal needs.

Despite her full schedule as a working student, Arcales remembers the importance of putting herself on top of her responsibilities.

“After either school or work, I’m hanging out with my friends, trying out places to eat, and [having] fun together. As long as I still have some time to have fun and be off from the pressure of my work and academics, I think I’m good with that,” she explained.

Working students tend to forget that while working to support themselves, they also need time to care for their well-being. Arcales has some advice for them:

“There is no specific guidebook or list to give yourself some care. As long as you are giving yourself the freedom from your responsibilities and worries, you are already caring for yourself.”

Consequences

Guilt might whisper to you when you yearn to rest from your daily responsibilities, but do you know what happens if you put self-care at the bottom of your list?

According to Psych Central, these are the consequences of neglecting your self-care:

• Low energy
• Feeling hopeless
• Less patience
• Increased headaches, stomach aches, and other physical symptoms of stress
• Difficulty falling and staying asleep
• Challenges in choosing healthy food and urges to eat “comfort” foods
• Worsening mental health symptoms like depression or anxiety
• Feeling “burnout”
• Difficulty concentrating
• Strain or distancing in the relationship with your spouse or partner
• Reduced performance at work
• Less motivation to engage in social activities

So, if you are experiencing these consequences, it is best to start caring for yourselves now.

It’s up to you whether you follow Jalando-on and Antiquiera’s tips on self-care or Arcales’ take that there’s no guidebook. As long as you build a healthy relationship with yourself, don’t hesitate to do it.

Remember, taking a break will not take away time from what you must do. Instead, it will help you to recharge so you can be your best selves and able to conquer new challenges.

With reports from Gella J. Aboratigue