WE’VE almost heard it all before: spoiled, selfish, and a loner. Those stereotypical words have been played like a broken record in family functions or even in the memes you see on social media. But here’s a news flash: they barely know everything. These assumptions don’t reveal the lesser-seen sides of growing up solo.
Only children may be complex, but they are capable.
RepublicAsia interviewed only children, and they shared their experiences and the emotional weight they carry as they grew up being the unica hija in their families.
The Realities of an Only Child
Yza Delos Santos, 20, an only child, expressed how it always irked her whenever people assumed she was spoiled. It particularly frustrates her because of the stereotypes that she felt completely misrepresented her personality.
“People thought that I got everything I wanted easily, pero in reality naman po, my parents always made sure na I earned it, kapag may gusto ako,” Delos Santos shared with RepublicAsia.
“It was never just handed to me,” she added.
Growing up, Delos Santos learned the value of hard work from her parents, who instilled in her the importance of earning what she wanted. As a result of the misconception, she is determined to prove that she is not pampered, that everything she does comes with effort.
Althea Nalcot, 23, who is also an only child, doesn’t feel the need to prove that she is not “spoiled.” She views being an only child comes with privileges in terms of attention and support. While she acknowledges this privilege, it has allowed her to navigate life with the assurance that she has a strong support system behind her.
Finding Strength and Creativity Amid Solitude
Delos Santos and Nalcot agree that growing up without having any siblings can be lonely.
Delos Santos believes that being an only child is peaceful, but that peace sometimes comes with silence that can feel heavy. Since she doesn’t have any siblings with whom she can share her struggles and stories, she became acquainted with keeping her emotions to her own.
While for Nalcot, she believes that the feeling of isolation depends on the family dynamics. She says that if an individual prefers solitude, it can actually be an opportunity to learn independence. She emphasized that it can allow personal growth and introspection.
They both shared what activities they love to pursue in their free time. Delos Santos enjoys her alone time by watching movies. Doing her make-up is also one of her hobbies, using it as a form of self-expression and recreation. On the other hand, Nalcot often does journaling and cooking. She turns her attention to these hobbies not just for relaxation, but as opportunities to hone her skills and express her creativity. Each of them finds fulfillment in their activities, reflecting their identity and passion.
Navigating Pressure and Expectations
Being an only child puts significant pressure on their future. They have no one else to lean on, and they find themselves as the sole support of their parents. Expectations at bay are hard to ignore when all eyes are on them every step of the way.
“I felt the pressure. I need to succeed because I’m the only one that [sic] needs to succeed,” Nalcot shared with RepublicAsia.
“I carry all the hope na– of making my family proud. Wala naman akong ka-share sa role na ‘yon,” Delos Santos said.
Both Nalcot and Delos Santos feel pressured on their part, but they also want to succeed and achieve their goals so that they can bring home pride for their family.
If there’s a notion for only children that Delos Santos wanted to disappear, it would be the thought of them being wise beyond their years.
“‘Yung idea po na ‘we’re mature’ for our age. Kasi minsan, it sounds like compliment pero may pressure din kasi parang people expect you to act older, to be responsible na parang– it feels like kailangan mong mag grow up faster. Parang it can take away ‘yung being a ‘kid’ and enjoying the moment,” Delos Santos emphasized.
This misconception overlooks the experience of growing up without siblings, often attributing maturity to a unique upbringing rather than recognizing the way only children grow in a diverse environment throughout their lives.
Redefining What it Means to be an Only Child
Being an only child is not about being spoiled or lonely; it’s about nurturing a profound sense of independence, emotional depth, and creativity. Only children continue to challenge the stereotypes and misconceptions about them. They have unique experiences that shape them to develop strong self-reliance.
Through changing the way we think about them, we can understand them better, their strengths and complexities. They show that their journey carries strength as they carve their own paths, making it known that they’re more than just the labels society names them. They keep an authentic way of being themselves.
