IF you’re in a relationship, you might sometimes get the urge to bite the hell out of your partner. They may find this funny, perhaps even weird, but this is actually an extremely common feeling.
This isn’t just limited to your partner, either. If you’ve ever gotten the urge to squish a baby’s cheeks or aggressively sniff your pet, these are all perfectly normal. All these actions can be attributed to what are called “cute aggressions.”
According to an interview by the University of Cincinnati with social psychologist Oriana Aragon, when someone feels a strong sense of adoration toward someone, they then start to show this aggression to that person as a means of regulating their emotions.
She explained that when you’re with this person, you feel this strong urge that you need to express, hence why you feel like biting them as a means of coping with your feelings or from getting distracted or overwhelmed.
As per Barrie Davenport of Live Bold and Bloom, it’s also a way to show comfort and trust within the relationship – that you’re comfortable enough with biting this person, and they’re comfortable enough with letting you do so.
It’s important to remember that not everyone may be comfortable with the way you try to quell this aggression, so there’s a need to discuss boundaries with them.
Keeping boundaries
While it may be understood that this act is just a means of showing affection to your partner, it’s important to communicate with them about how they feel about what you’re doing.
Ask them if you can bite them before doing so, or if you’re squishing a kid’s cheeks, ask them (or their parents) first if a squish or two is okay. Not everyone is a fan of physical touch, after all.
When it comes to your pets, it’s understandable that you can’t exactly communicate with them as you would with other humans, but you can still read their body language.
If they’re trying to get away from you, or if they’re giving you the whale eye, take that as a sign to take a step back for a moment or two.
Also: even if someone gives you consent to bite them, squish their cheeks, or whatever else, remember to do so in a way that doesn’t hurt them.
If they tell you that you’re biting them too hard or squishing too forcefully, take it down a notch or step back for a moment to cool down first.
As Davenport explained, these aggressions stem from a human being’s primal urges. As such, it’s important to regulate them to ensure that everyone’s having a good time, and not just you.
