THE LGBTQIA+ community is what one might say is the favorite community of the Philippines but somehow hates the most as well. It’s a complex society that shows through how most people treat the LGBTQIA+ community. 

It may even be believed that sometimes, the complicated mindset of the society when it comes to the LGBTQIA+ community can reflect the way an individual thinks—even if you’re inside the community. 

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So, here are some of the things that needs to be stopped doing by the LGBTQIA+ community:

Warning: These are not a generalization of the community but a list of things that SOME members of the LGBTQIA+ community should stop to not harm other members of the community. Please read with this in mind.

Internalized homophobia

Being in the community is not an excuse to be homophobic—even to yourself. Having internalized homophobia is a common problem that members of the LGBTQIA+ community have been experiencing since time immemorial. 

This occurs when a person who is a member of the community does not agree to the practices of gender expressions and accepts the differences between sexual characteristics. 

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This also happens when a person, who isn’t heterosexual, denies that they are part of the community, or even if they acknowledge that they are part of the LGBTQIA+ community, the feeling of being inside (e.g. seeing a feminine gay, being with loud group of gays, talking about sexual interactions, stereotypical members of the community) the community irks them.

This does not only affect their image of themselves but also the community as well, because it’s already hard fitting in a world that wasn’t made for you, what more if you’re not fitting in even with the community that was supposed to be made just for you?

Making fun of stereotypical gays and lesbians

Speaking of stereotypical members of the community, it is common knowledge that the stereotypical gays and lesbians hurts the community, and generalizing just puts their self-identity in shackles instead of having the freedom to express their differences. 

However, being stereotypical isn’t really that bad. 

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As stated, all members of the community—and even those who aren’t—are accustomed to express themselves in any way they prefer, and if being stereotypical is what makes them who they are, then who are you to say otherwise? 

If a lesbian feels good with dressing like a man but not wanting to have their biological sex be reassigned, then let them be, if they want to buy a Mio Motorcycle, let them be. If a gay wants to be a hairdresser and wants to be a comedian—then let them! 

There is nothing wrong with how they express themselves unless they harm somebody, so what’s really important here is that if they let you do you, you let them do them.

Using sexuality as an escape route

People might not realize, but most of the time, when members of the community get into an altercation in public—they use their sexuality as a way to escape the issue. They would use the fact that they don’t have equal rights as the straights and that’s why they’re doing things that are morally wrong. 

Or sometimes, they ‘out’ themselves in public to gain sympathy from the LGBTQIA+ community knowing that they will have people backing them up even if they’re the ones in the wrong. 

Your morality as a person is your responsibility regardless of your gender and sexuality, you should not be using your SOGIE to escape the things you did wrong. It is entirely unethical and dangerous to use your SOGIE to get away with things that you should be accountable for. 

Not because you’re part of the community does it mean that you can just up-and-about get people to side with you. Your gender and sexuality is a part of your self-identity and not a factor of yourself that you should be using as a weapon. 

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Queer-ness erasure

The other letters and the plus in the LGBTQIA+ community suffers the most from queer-ness erasure inside the community. Bi-phobia was already discussed but there are also a number of sexualities that people seem to erase when the member of the community dates the opposite sex. 

“Ay, straight ka na ulit?” is the common question that is mostly heard, people assume that they’re back to being heterosexual once they dated the opposite sex when in fact—their sexuality is being attracted to either: knowledge, regardless of sex, etc. 

Hearing this from your own community might feel frustrating because your sexuality is being invalidated just because you’re dating someone of the opposite sex. 

It is already established that the LGBTQIA+ community is a diverse community, why is there an erasure for queer people who are not gay or a lesbian?

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Trusting ‘Gay-Dar’ too much

There is this thing called the ‘Gay-Dar’, wherein members of the community can sense or people who might be part of the community. Of course, there is no scientific research about this, it was just a feeling between the community. 

But this can be dangerous because it’s judging someone out of stereotypes or blind feelings. If one sees a man who is feminine, the reaction would be—“Ay bading ‘yan.” Or if they didn’t have a partner of the opposite sex for a long time, the reaction would be the same. 

It is time to stop assuming someone’s gender just by the way they act. Even if you’re in the community, you’re taking away their rights to figure out their gender because you’re already doing it for them. 

‘Out-ing’ someone else

Last and definitely not the least, is out-ing someone. Freedom to express is something that everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community wishes to achieve, but in their own timeline. One’s decision to let the world know of their gender and sexuality is no one’s business. 

Out-ing someone is not only disrespectful but also a way of stripping them of their control over how and when the people around them will know of their identity. 

It should be something that they decide on, the choice is theirs. And taking it away from them is like being a colonizer ripping their clothes off and letting everyone see them in their naked vulnerability. They’ll feel helpless and scared, because they didn’t want that, they didn’t wish for that to happen. 

So, going out of the closet should be something that a person should do on their own terms, regardless if you’re part of the community or not, you let them do it when and how they want to do it. 

The LGBTQIA+ community is such a beautiful circle that is full of colorful individuals with diverse characteristics. But everyone is still humans, they still make mistakes, no one’s perfect. And being in a society wherein such mindsets are thought inside one’s home, it can easily be passed on to the next generation.

But as a member of the community, everyone should make sure that they do not hurt anyone else who’s also one of them—the community only has each other, so it’s crucial to remember that everyone should take care of everyone. 

With reports from Ashley Kristieanne Ignacio

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