ON a day when families gather to celebrate an academic milestone, one graduate was accompanied by their best friend instead of marching with their parents.

And when asked by classmates’ mothers as to where their mother was, Jane De Leon can’t help but tear up.

“When my parents left me, and I learned to parent myself alone,” they quoted in a feature post from Bulacan State University (BulSU) Capture.

In the lengthy caption, Jane told the story of the journey that built up to the momentous day. And upon speaking with them, the journey was easier said than done.

The early days

Dejected, Jane recalls the painful memories of the past. Childhood was met with the absence of parents.

“Ang dami kong sana noong bata pa ako hanggang college kasi I’m always seeking for care, attention, for their love, for their guidance na hindi ko na na-feel,” Jane said.

The hard reality is that Jane only once saw their father as he was a soldier. Even upon meeting him, it was followed by his unexpected death that left a lifelong impact. 

In the days leading up to his demise, Jane was already living with their mother and stepfather. It was not until the fourth grade that they would begin to be passed back and forth by relatives.

From Bicol with their grandmother on the father’s side, Jane was taken back to Bulacan in the sixth grade. And this return was never the same as before.

Jane was entrusted to their other grandmother in Malolos, where they had to sew bags to support their own studies. That is because Jane was left by their mother to be with their new family.

“And actually, iniwan ako nung mama ko kasi ayun nga, may family na siyang iba. Sobrang sakit sa akin noon,” they said.

Left alone

While working at a young age, Jane was left doubting life. They would recall questioning their mother, as to why she left and that she should be taking care of them. 

Jane would also remember their father, whom they wished was with her to feel the love they sought.

“Kapag nakakita ko na may pamilyang buo palagi ko sinasabi, ‘Sana ako din, sana ako kumpleto din para hindi ako naghahanap ng pagmamahal sa ibang tao. Sana buhay pa yung tatay ko para hindi na ako naghahanap pa ng attention sa ibang tao,’” Jane said.

The then grade schooler would also question God saying, “Lord bakit ganto? Bakit ako lang? Bakit mag-isa lang ako? Ano bang reason?”

With a heavy heart and troubling thoughts, Jane decided once and for all to know the answer – to walk 26 kilometers and beg for their mother’s presence. 

Thus Jane marched on from Malolos to Marilao after secretly escaping their grandmother. Through night and day, Jane was nothing but adamant about facing their mother.

But upon arriving, Jane was met with an angry mother who scolded them for being stubborn. Along with the emotions, Jane still received the same answer.

“My mother always [told] me na, “Hindi kasi pwede kasi may bago na akong pamilya,’” Jane said.

Left alone with only pain in their heart, Jane was sent back to Malolos. The only thought that ran through their mind: am I truly my mother’s daughter?

Solace from others

Amid tragedy and turmoil, Jane strived to accomplish their high school education. Jane would attend parent orientations and would get their report card. 

The teen did everything to be included in the honors list in the hopes that this would be their ticket to tuition-free universities. Though Jane paused for a year from school to save up money.

While Jane was continuously fighting for a sense of purpose, they met people who made a significant contribution to their lives.

In a fateful encounter, Jane met Florideth Bantayan, a fellow church member who changed the course of their life.

From 2019 through the pandemic, Floredeth took Jane to her home. In exchange for tutoring her children and helping with the household chores, Jane was provided a place to stay. 

“Siya talaga yung tumulong sa akin and siya talaga yung all-give-all supporter ko and support system talaga,” Jane said.

Jane also had to stay with another support figure, Shell, wherein they took on the role of a babysitter and at-home tutor. Once again, Jane found a place where their presence and contributions were valued and reciprocated.

Also, someone who Jane can’t help but smile to talk about is Kuya RE, a fellow churchgoer who stood out as a father figure. 

Relatively, Jane remembered a moment they felt behind and alone. But then Kuya RE showed up and upon knowing that Jane was fatherless, he took it upon himself to look after them.

Humbly requesting, Jane asked Kuya RE, “Kuya pwede ba kita ang tawagin tatay?,” to which he replied, “Pwede mo kong tawagin tatay!” From that day forth, Jane was overjoyed and overwhelmed with the feeling of what it was like to have a father.

“Nandyan siya palagi to give me encouragement, spiritually, socially, physically. Nandyan siya palagi para i-guide ako,” Jane said.

While Kuya RE promised to march Jane on graduation, he unfortunately passed last year. Still, Jane holds on to the thought that his life has given them sheer joy.

Strong independent woman

Even with the challenges, defiance from their own family, and even their mother’s discouragement, Jane remained strong, leading them to the pursuit of a better life.

“Kahit anong mangyari, hindi ako magiging kagaya nung mga kabataan na hindi buo yung pamilya pero gumagawa ng mga masasama,” Jane said.

Realizing that a degree is vital for finding a competent job, Jane decided to pursue their dreams of going to college.

Jane attempted to enroll in different universities and colleges and even considered pursuing an Architecture program. Yet due to financial limitations, they decided to attend Bulacan State University, where they took up secondary education.

At the university they entered, Jane found the people who gave them additional encouragement and genuinely invested in their careers.

“Wala man akong buong pamilya, andyan yung mga kaibigan ko para iparamdam sa akin na pamilya kami,” Jane said.

Even in the critical phase of Jane’s education, they found comfort in the arms of educators in their internship. One of which was when they arrived late to their field study due to their responsibilities.

Jane initially kept the struggles to themselves, hesitant to share their personal circumstance with other people. However, when the other teachers inquired about the reason for their tardiness, Jane tearfully narrated their life as a working student.

By that moment, the encouragement and words they received from the other teachers became a turning point, assuring them that their hard work and dedication were seen and appreciated.

“Binigyan po nila ako ng encouragement na, ‘Huwag kang hihinto. Ipagpatuloy mo lang ‘yun kasi super proud kami,’” Jane said.

And continue they did. Those words were not just out of sympathy, but a fulfilled aspiration that Jane had overcome, proving their strength and firmness.

“Sobrang sakit sa akin na maiwan, pero kailangan ko tanggapin na ito yung magiging yung way para mas maging strong pa ako,” Jane said.

With reports from Cath Ogrimen and Regine Dayao