IN THE kaleidoscope of childhood, the world is a playground of possibilities. We dream with abandon, envisioning each self as an astronaut, a superhero, a rockstar. Every new experience is a discovery, and each question has an answer that seems within reach. The universe feels vast but conquerable, and your place within it is secure.
As a child, we built castles in the sand, imagining them as fortresses of future empires. The questions we ask, “Why is the sky blue?” “Where do stars go in the daytime?” or “Why is the moon following me?” are answered with a simplicity that satisfies. Life is a series of discoveries, each affirming our belief that the world is a knowable, predictable place. We dream without constraints, believing we can be anything or do anything.
The future is a blank canvas, and we hold the brush.
The Illusion of Certainty
At 18, the world feels like a puzzle, and somehow, we possess all the pieces. Every corner of us buzzes with certainty, every breath is filled with purpose. We are on the cusp of adulthood, yet you carry the bold confidence of someone who believes they have cracked life’s most complex codes.
We stand at the precipice of a grand adventure, armed with fresh knowledge, untamed dreams, and an unshakable belief in our omniscience.
For many, like Naomi, this age was a whirlwind of aspirations and determination. “I was a dreamer prior to my 18th, about plans for my career, possible hobbies I can finally afford once I started working, relationships I can now pursue. At 18, I tried hard to make those dreams my reality. I spent my 18th year trying to build up the bricks that’ll lead me to achieving those. I thought I knew how to; I even had a timeline. I overworked myself despite knowing I have my limits.”
Naomi’s early years were filled with ambition and a clear vision of her future. She had a roadmap and the determination to follow it.
Entering college or starting a job at 19, the first taste of independence is intoxicating. We’re surrounded by new people, new ideas, and a new level of freedom. But alongside this excitement comes the first whispers of doubt. We meet people who are smarter, more experienced, and more diverse than we’ve ever encountered. The bubble of high school certainty starts to deflate. We realize the vastness of the world and how little we actually know.
“I thought I was above average sa lahat, like creativity, memorization. But no, I wasn’t. I’m not so good at exams na technical. And sa society natin, big deal yung grades. So, I tried so hard to memorize lessons, kahit na hindi ako magaling mag-memorize. It somehow loosened the screws attached sa plans ko of achieving my high dreams.” Naomi stated.
The clarity of 18 feels like a distant memory, replaced by an undercurrent of anxiety about the future.
A strange phenomenon occurs. Amidst the chaos, moments of clarity start to surface. We begin to see patterns in our experiences, connecting the dots between our passions and potential.
“I understood even at 18 that I’m not fully developed to understand the majority of life, but I thought I had the basic knowledge to survive without having to fall. For instance, I had rules that I’m not gonna do this or that, I’ll be like this and that, and the likes,”
“Now, at 22, funny to say that my understanding of life is still developing. It improved, yes, but barely. As for my knowledge, I very much know today that life often goes outside the pattern of your plans, and it’s okay,”
And by then, Naomi starts to understand that certainty is an illusion, and wisdom comes from embracing uncertainty.
The Unraveling
The path ahead is no longer a straight line but a maze of possibilities and pitfalls. Naomi is confronted with choices that have no clear right or wrong answers.
“I took a pause…” Naomi said. “I stopped going to school. I stopped before the semester of internship and ng thesis. I didn’t want to be a burden sa company and sa makaka-group ko sa thesis. It’s important to take a pause when you know you’ve reached your limit. Of course, I initially felt bad, like a disappointment, pero over time, I learned that I needed to take that pause para magpatuloy.”
These choices are riddled with ambiguity, each with potential regrets and rewards. The black-and-white answers of our teenage years dissolve into a spectrum of grays.
The Paradox of Growth
This shift from certainty to doubt is not a regression but an evolution. The self-assuredness of 18 is a necessary stage, a foundation upon which to build.
At 22, Naomi begins to realize the enormity of what you don’t know. This awareness is daunting, but it is also a gift. It opens her up to learning and growth in ways she never imagined.
“When I took a pause, I had plenty of time to reflect sa mga nagawa ko. Too much regrets. And yung regrets ko, hindi sya yung ‘dapat pala binigay ko yung lahat ko.’ It’s more like, ‘dapat pala pinarioritize ko yung well-being ko over pleasing my expectations sa sarili ko.”
We are not losing knowledge; we are gaining wisdom. We are shedding the naivety of youth and embracing the intricate, beautiful mess of adulthood.
Embracing the unknown is a daunting task, but it is where true growth happens. At 18, you are like a caterpillar, armed with knowledge and potential, ready to take on the world. By 22, you are in the chrysalis, feeling lost and uncertain, but on the brink of transformation. The doubts and questions that plague you are the very forces that will push you to spread your wings.
“We all have different lives and priorities, but if you were to listen to me, your health must come first before anything else. Hirap magpatuloy kapag mismong katawan at isip mo na yung kakalaban sayo.” Naomi’s advised.
The journey from 18 to 22 is not about losing certainty but about finding a deeper, more resilient form of understanding. It is about realizing that knowing everything is an illusion and that the beauty of life lies in the endless journey of discovery. This transition marks the beginning of a lifelong adventure, where the destination is not as important as the experiences, lessons, and growth along the way.
“…perhaps you should offer more kindness towards yourself, kapag may uncertainties sa buhay, don’t punish yourself by pushing too hard.”
Tips for Navigating the Transition
Embrace Uncertainty: Accept that it’s okay not to have all the answers. Life is about exploration and discovery.
Stay Curious: Keep asking questions and seeking new experiences. Curiosity fuels growth.
Reflect on Your Journey: Regularly take time to reflect on your experiences and how they’ve shaped you.
Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive people who understand and encourage your journey.
Be Kind to Yourself: Understand that it’s normal to feel lost sometimes. Treat yourself with compassion and patience.
Focus on Growth: Prioritize personal growth over perfection. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
Keep an Open Mind: Be open to new opportunities and perspectives. Flexibility can lead to unexpected and rewarding paths.
Find Your Passion: Explore different interests to discover what truly excites and motivates you.
