IN the realm of modern dating, people typically use color-coded systems to identify potential partners in order to sort out which should be pursued and which should be ditched.
For instance, individuals labeled as red flags are partners one would likely avoid getting involved with. In sports, a red flag signifies that the game has been halted due to a foul committed by some players. Red lights on traffic signs also mean stop.
This is also true in relationships, whether romantic or platonic. These are deal-breaker behaviors and traits that would likely push people to end a relationship before it got messy.
A red flag is often a trait or behavior that serves as an indicator for people to cease or back away from a relationship. While this can be subjective, red flags often pertain to deceit, violent displays, controlling nature, gaslighting, a lack of emotional intimacy, love bombing, and breadcrumbing.
Green flags, on the other hand, are positive qualities and characteristics that often denote a healthy relationship. This could include open communication, honesty, validating one’s emotions, providing assurance, fostering a safe space and healthy boundaries, and respect.
According to University of the Philippines sociology assistant professor Samuel Cabbuag, these relationship flags in the online context pertain to habits and traits that people use to identify how they would act around a particular person.
“It gives them a sense of idea kung pano to kumilos, pano sya makipag interact with other people,” he said.
However, flags in modern relationships aren’t just red and green. TikTok proves it could be beige, too! But what exactly is the beige flag trend in TikTok?
What is a beige flag?
Beige flags are typically described as traits that are not as concerning as red flags but are also not exactly as positive as green flags. These are people’s odd or weird attributes that would give one a reason to pause and then continue the relationship after a little pondering.
Netizens have been sharing their partner’s quirky traits on the short-form video sharing site TikTok, which has garnered over 570 million cumulative views on the platform.
According to TikTok users, a beige flag could be one’s weird way of not putting their phones on silent because they fear their alarms won’t go off, or when someone would not charge their phones even when they have plans to go outside for a date and complain about their dead batteries.
While beige flags are subjective, these traits can either fall into the charming quirks category, like remembering everyone’s birthday, or weird recurring inside jokes these partners share (like wearing underwear with holes and showing them off).
Cabbuag said beige flags are also a “fun way” of categorizing people we interact with online and offline. Through the beige flag trend, he continued, people’s random quirks receive appreciation.
Why is it so popular?
TikToker @itscaito, who also calls herself “CEO of beige flags,’’ claims to have coined this new dating term. But contrary to the current trend, her beige flag definition is a little different.
According to her, beige flags are boring traits that people possess.
In a TikTok video posted May 2022, the user said beige flags could range from hating coriander, liking pineapples on pizza, using a massive amount of “reference to extremely mainstream sitcoms, to using their love for puppies as their personality.
But regardless of its most accurate meaning, people have been joining the trend nonstop, maintaining its spot as one of the most famous trends on the social media app.
What makes it so popular?
Cheska Surita, a 21-year-old marketing major, believes the reason why the beige flag trend on TikTok is still making noise is because of its relatability. One way or another, she finds traits in other people that are similar to hers or to the people around her.
“Whenever I’d scroll through TikTok and come across beige flag entries, I find myself amused kasi may mga traits ako na akala ko ako lang gumagawa pero ginagawa rin pala ng iba,” she told republicasia.
“For example, pagpapapak ng instant coffee or putting ketchup in almost anything I eat,” she added.
Cabbuag cited the sense of relatability it provides people. It connects us both online and offline, he said.
It also allows them the opportunity to reflect on the values they uphold for themselves based on the content they see online.
“May point of reflection din siya, na ‘Oo nga no, baka red flag nga ginagawa niya sakin di ko lang nakikita,’ so it helps nga tong nakikita ko online as points of reflection,” he told republicasia in a separate interview.
Some dangers
However, the general relationship flag trends could also pose some disadvantages.
According to Cabbuag, some unhealthy stereotypes emerged because of these buzz phrases.
Sometimes, people are too quick to judge a person based on the red, green, and beige flags they discover in them.
“It connotes nga na para siyang cinacategorize, na s-stereotype nga as something na negative siya or positive,” said Cabbuag. “Na, oh he’s a walking red flag. May [conclusion] na, ‘okay masama siyang tao kasi sabi nila, red flag siya, mga ginagawa niya ay red flag daw.’”
