BRINGING home the bacon and often pasalubongs from work, is the usual routine of a breadwinner. As a member of a family, they earn to provide its members’ needs.

Each drop of blood, sweat, and tears is poured into the household by this relentless provider.

But when there’s nothing left to give for oneself – time, rest, relaxation – who provides for the breadwinner?

Photo Courtesy: Unsplash | Tran Mau Tri Tam

Let’s take a deeper dive into the lives of these breadwinners and if despite their selflessness, there’s still self-care.

Becoming a breadwinner

Typically, being a breadwinner comes from a sole reason: family needs. Regardless of age or order among siblings, being a breadwinner is a calling.

And for the young Cath Ogrimen, she was still a teen when she began fulfilling her family’s necessities. It was after her father’s passing that led her to be the man of the house.

“As the firstborn daughter, I was left with the responsibilities,” she said.  

Consequently, Cath’s mother was supportive of the idea, since she would work as a caretaker. “My mother found it beneficial, as she now had someone to help her financially. She was the one who encouraged me to work so we could have something on the table,” Cath remembers.

Photo Courtesy: Unsplash | Mari Gimenez

In a similar sense, breadwinner Daniel Alcantara has his parents giddy with his employment. “My parents were fine about it, and they would be happy that I helped the family,” he shared.

He was also 19 years old when he began contributing to his family, mainly because nobody was employed with his father being retired and the mother occupied as a housewife

Now, he is 24 years old and continues to be a financial support system of the family, and working as a call center agent.

Losing the self

Earn here, spend there, but a breadwinner can only go so far. At the end of the day, they’re human beings too with thoughts, emotions, and needs too. 

Cath had to go so far as almost not going back to school after a year of full time work in the call center industry. “I almost wasn’t able to pursue my college education. If I hadn’t pushed myself to study, I wouldn’t be where I am today,” she recalls.

For four years, she did not have a single peso of savings. 30 minute naps within 24 hours became her only rest. Without time and money, there was never an opportunity to travel.

Self-care was also out of the equation for the young adult and the nearest to it would be sleep. “Sleeping [is my self-care], since through this, I can regain my strength and reconnect with myself,” was Cath’s simple answer.

Having sleep rather than spending time with family and friends, school responsibilities would also slip its way into her routine.

Photo Courtesy: Original Photo by Cath Ogrimen

Daniel didn’t have it easy either, since both financial savings and adequate sleep was not in his cards. “I often did not have any time for self-care. I would put the needs of my family first before taking time for myself,” he selflessly expressed.

Due to little earnings and huge backlogs, he too yearned only for sleep as his self-care. “It is also having time to do other things like hobbies, traveling, eating out, and such,” he added to his list of self-care routines.

For the two breadwinners, either working or studying was their only schedule. Naps would only last for mere minutes or a few hours until they got back to getting ready and showing up for another day.

How to win?

Realistically, there’s no simple answer on how a breadwinner could win. Because of house needs, there’s no savings. Because of schoolwork and workload, there’s no sleep. Because of responsibilities, there’s no stopping for the breadwinner.

For Daniel, he doesn’t need money or time to support him, just the people around him. 

“I believe that breadwinners should be taken care of by the people around them in times they cannot take care of themself. These hard working people deserve the credit and respect for what they do,” he said.

On the other hand, Cath can’t stress the significance of sleep enough. 

“I sometimes treat myself of foods or other stuff I can buy online, but I feel like sleeping is even more rewarding. I thank myself everytime I can get some sleep,” she emphasized.

With moral support and enough sleep, this may very well add up to the breadwinner’s path to winning. And an arduous journey of working, studying, and providing would need its boundaries.

Both Cath and Daniel meet ends again as they said that the line should be drawn from responsibilities and self-care all the time. 

“If you prioritize other responsibilities over yourself, you’ll lose. You have responsibilities to others, but your biggest responsibility is to yourself,” Cath gave as a warning.

“A breadwinner should draw the line from work and responsibilities often. Though I sometimes cannot make time for myself, I think that others should always prioritize themself,” Daniel highlighted.

With reports from Regine Dayao