LAST MONTH, an anonymous Redditor posted under the “AITAH” thread, asking if they were the “a@*hole” for firing their best man because the latter had proposed at their wedding.
For those of you who don’t know, “AITAH” stands for “Am I The A@*hole?”
It’s a popular thread on Reddit wherein people ask whether or not they were the “a@*hole” in a certain situation, wherein they then explain the situation, and the verdict falls unto commenters and reactors under their post.
This post in part discussed how the groom and his bride had been planning their wedding for months, and on the day of, everything was going perfectly.
That is until his best man suddenly decided to propose to his girlfriend in the middle of the wedding reception.
While others in the room were clapping and cheering, the bride and groom were furious. The groom then confronted John, telling him it was out of line, while the best man insisted that he felt it was a great surprise, and that the groom should be happy for him.
The groom called the best man selfish and inconsiderate and proceeded to kick him out of the reception. Following this, their mutual friends started calling him out, saying that he overreacted.
Many people on the internet, however, are on the groom’s side, stating that at the very least the best man should’ve asked for permission beforehand. Others added that it was their special day, but the best man made it about him and his girlfriend instead.
AITA for firing my best man for proposing at my wedding?
byu/Inside-Werewolf-3400 inAITAH
This raises the question: Do people still remember basic wedding etiquette, or has all that just flown out the window?
If you’re attending a wedding soon, or want to be prepared for when the next friend or family member ties the knot, here are some rules about wedding etiquette that you may have forgotten about.
- Be mindful of what you wear.
While it’s a well-known rule that you shouldn’t wear white to someone’s wedding (though it can be noted that it is allowed in other cultures,) another thing to be mindful of is the couple’s overall color palette and dress code.
Don’t be the person who shows up in a navy blue dress when the dress code calls for light pastels, and don’t wear a cocktail dress to a wedding when the invite states that it’s only evening gowns.
Yes, it can be expensive to buy a new dress just for one event, but there are a lot of alternatives to buying an entirely new outfit. You can borrow from a friend, for example, or buy a secondhand dress on websites like Carousell, or online shops on Instagram.
The effort, after all, is well worth it to ensure that the couple’s special day goes exactly as they’d planned it.
- Ask before posting on social media.
With the advent of social media, it’s unavoidable to want to take photos or videos during the event, and many weddings now have no problem with such a rule.
There are even others who make it mandatory, asking people to tag them in their photos, or having guests download apps that encourage people to take as many photos as they can during the event.
There are couples, however, who require their guests not to post any photos or videos until after the bride and groom have posted theirs. It may be a rule that you don’t understand, but hey, it isn’t your wedding, is it?
As much as possible, do not bypass this rule, even if the pictures you’re posting don’t feature the bride or groom.
You can check the wedding invitation beforehand to see if any part of it discusses picture taking, or send a message to the bride and groom before the wedding asking if they have any rules on this matter.
More than this, don’t forget to live in the moment when you’re at a wedding! Avoid spending the entire event just scrolling through your phone, or messaging your friends.
Listen to the speeches, make new friends. What’s the point of going after all if you don’t try to have fun?
- Remember to give a gift.
It isn’t exactly mandatory to give a gift at a wedding, and some couples even ask their guests not to. If there aren’t any rules against this, however, it’s basic wedding etiquette to bring a gift for the bride and groom.
For gifts, it’s best to buy something from the couple’s wedding registry if they have one. If you know other people at the wedding, you can also opt to buy a group gift so that you can save a bit of money.
If you don’t have the time to shop for a wedding gift, you can instead just give them money, which many couples actually prefer.
With the cost of weddings nowadays, any amount is sure to bring a smile to their faces.
- No inviting additional guests.
Unless it’s been confirmed that you’re allowed to bring a plus one to the wedding, don’t invite anyone to the wedding.
Each detail of a wedding is planned meticulously, and included in this planning is the number of expected guests. The seating chart depends on this, as well as the amount of food, drinks, and everything else.
Do not be the person people talk about in AITA threads; one person in the thread discusses how, at one wedding they attended, one guest brought over their entire friend group to join in on the fun.
Again, remember that this is not your special day. It isn’t just some random party, nor is it an excuse to just get drunk. For the bride and groom’s sake, don’t invite anyone who has no business being there in the first place.
- Let the bride and groom breathe.
Planning a wedding is stressful enough. On the day of, do your best to be a good wedding guest; that includes keeping any complaints you may have about the wedding to yourself, as well as helping in any way that you can.
If ever you have any questions, maybe direct them to other people who are part of the entourage, or are close with the bride and groom. On their wedding day, couples barely get to have any time for themselves, what with all the friends and family approaching them.
There have been many stories wherein couples don’t even have the time to eat on their wedding day since they have to answer so many questions and talk to so many people. So if you can, give the couple time to rest, as well as enjoy the event they’ve been working so hard on.
- Don’t make it about you!
Perhaps the most vital rule for a wedding – or anyone’s special day, really, such as one’s birthday, funeral, or whatever else – is to not make everything about you.
Don’t be the person who ends up on Reddit threads by proposing to their partners at someone’s wedding. Aside from this, don’t make any big announcements at someone else’s wedding, period.
It’s great that you’re getting married too, or that you just got promoted, or that you’re having a baby, but there is a time and place for these announcements, and a wedding definitely isn’t the avenue for them.
Also: Don’t wear anything that you know is going to “upstage” the bride or groom, don’t get so drunk that others have to start taking care of you, don’t make toasts unless you’ve been asked to do so, and don’t make awkward, uncomfortable, or sexual jokes if ever you are asked to make a toast.
Often, the bride and groom do all that they can to ensure the comfort of their guests on their wedding day.
As guests, you have a responsibility to do the same.
