Life is a pressure cooker, especially in the age of social media. 

For Gen Zs, the heat is always on— boiling with academic expectations, career goals, and the need to curate an online persona. Every success feels like a post, every failure a meme waiting to happen, and every scroll a reminder of someone else’s highlight reels. 

Dealing with pressure is a challenge familiar to many. However, the effects of rising pressure paired with dwindling support are now surfacing within Gen Z’s culture. 

In a survey conducted by Gallup and Walton Family Foundation in the US, they found that one-third of the Gen Z respondents feel pressured to be perfect. This might be a factor why many in this generation struggle with anxieties. 

But as the pressure builds, many are beginning to ask a bold question: what if it’s time to let go of these expectations and define success in their own terms? Could giving up benefit us more than forcing ourselves to the things that are clearly not for us? Could ending things actually lead to healthier and happier fresh starts? 

Two Gen Zs bravely shared their stories to republicasia, offering valuable insights on how letting go could actually be the win you’re waiting for. 

In relationship

Filipinos are romantic at heart. We are primed by many teleseryes and ‘Box-office’ movies to view love as something that is worth fighting for, no matter the cost.  

But for the 23-year old Joana Reyes, that’s just simply not the case. 

“It was a half-year relationship. I met him in our university organization; he was one of our senior peers. We had classes together in our minor subjects but didn’t have the chance to know more about each other until I joined the org, which he introduced to me,” said Joana, reminiscing about her previous relationship. 

“We were both active in our organization. After I joined, I was positioned to be one of the council members. He had insecurities about that, and I think it was also part of the downfall of our relationship.”

Joana is a 4th year medical technology student from a university in Laguna. She shared her experience of dealing with a dysfunctional relationship with her ex who was an engineering student in the same university. 

“I think even in the first three months of the relationship, it was really a red flag for me because he always compared our achievements instead of pushing each other to be ‘more’ successful. So I had this voice inside my head wondering if this was worth pursuing, but we still tried to fix things between us.”

However, things didn’t go the way she hoped for. Joana said that, aside from the toxicity of the situation, she was also dealing with academic burnout. But her feelings for her boyfriend hindered her from grasping clarity.  plus the pressure of keeping an appearance of a perfect relationship on social media hindered her from grasping clarity. 

“Even though it became toxic, you try to make it work because you see a lot of couples who also went through rough patches but make it seem like they have the magical ending. So sometimes, you turn a blind eye to the red flags and abuse they show, which is sad, though.”

But after pouring her all into the relationship and not seeing an improvement, Joana decided that the best thing to do was to listen to her friends and finally let it go. 

“I think the point of letting go really came to mind when I felt that I was not supported well and my mental health was being compromised just to save his,” she said. 

She emphasized that the support and love shown by her friends played a role in lying her armor down and moving on from her situation. 

“Thankfully, I have very supportive friends who balance their opinion and make sure If I fail again on my decisions, they will not just slap me but cry with me,” said Joana with humor. 

In academics

Letting go and moving on might be a prominent concept in love and relationships, but they are not limited only to that. It also applies to when we are pursuing our dreams and realize that they are not for us. 

For Clark Dirilo, 29, letting go of his many dreams was heartbreaking but it was what he needed to reach growth, especially since his academic journey was a series of heartbreaks.

“I started my college journey in 2013. My first course was Nursing at New Era University but unfortunately I had to stop because my parents had to separate. In 2014, I was given a chance to study again but it was a different course. I took up a Bachelor of Science in Hospitality Management major in Hospitality Management, but again I have to stop due to financial reasons. It took me years  before I went back to college,” he shared. 

With these following setbacks, he decided that maybe he had to work first. 

“From 2014 to 2018, I was working as an assistant cook for my grandma’s cafeteria,” he said. 

Influenced by this, Clark decided to try his luck with a vocational course. His father enrolled him in a culinary school in Pasig, and he was able to finish his time there. 

But then, the pandemic happened, and Clark once again found himself falling short on his goals. 

“I was not able to work in any restaurants, hospitals or any establishments related to my course. I tried to open up my own business where I sell pastries like cookies,cakes etc. It did not last that long because there were many competitors at that time. [From] 2018 until 2024, I was jobless. I was really depressed at that time and I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.”

This was when Clark’s mom came in and talked him into the possibility of returning to school and pursuing the course he intended to finish back in 2013. 

“My mom who works as a registered nurse abroad talked to me. She told me that there are a lot of opportunities in nursing. At first I was hesitant because this course is not easy at all. But because of the support of my family and how much nursing helped her financially. I decided to take nursing for the second time.”

And thus, Clark came back into full circle. But this time, he was ready to take on the challenge. 

“As a second courser, I do understand that academic success is important to secure a better future but at the same time I try not to pressure myself as much as possible. I try to lessen the societal expectations but I find balance on how I will achieve my goals as a student.”

He also emphasized that letting go is not a failure, and moving forward is a must if you want to achieve your goals. 

“We have this saying in Tagalog, ‘Huwag rin puro aral enjoy mo rin life mo.’ We also have to accept that not everything comes into your way. Sometimes we fail and that is okay. It does not mean you are a failure.”

Lessons on letting go

Both Joana and Clark have advice for those who are afraid of letting go but think that they must so. 

For Joana, letting go is an act of understanding your boundaries. 

“I will be honest, I am the type of person who loves to love, so I will drain the shit out of myself before I let go of someone I love, so I will never have the “what if’s” of whether I loved them enough. The challenges that are worth working on are when you see your partner is also willing to save the relationship and try to meet you in the middle. A deal-breaker is cheating. Once you break my trust, I will leave without hesitation.”

Meanwhile, for Clark, letting go means recognizing your limitations and the extent of when to pursue expectations and when to defy them for your own welfare. 

“I taught myself that there is no need to pressure myself when it comes to academics.Setting high standards makes me prone to failures. For me learning is more important than setting standards that are not in your control. As long as I pass my subjects in school then I’m already ok with it. I don’t want myself to stress anymore.”

In the end, letting go is a deeply personal decision, shaped by individual boundaries, needs, and experiences. Both Joana and Clark remind us that letting go doesn’t mean losing— it’s about making space for growth and understanding what’s worth pursuing. 

Letting go is not a sign of surrender, but the first step to moving forward. (Nice put the hashtag natin for the month here)