FOUR sisters and a wedding is a film that revolves around the Salazar family with its four sisters determined to stop the wedding of their only and younger brother as their personal issues start to affect their lives.
From the well-crafted script and plot, the typical Pinoy humor and drama rendering giggles and tears, fantastic ensemble of actors, to the variety of characters that reflect lives and roles of different individuals, it is a movie that perfectly captures the essence of Filipino families in a fun, heart-warming and relatable way.
While the message of the movie is mainly focused on the love of family, there are details that depict toxic and unhealthy cultures that Filipinos generally practice.
Here are the toxic Filipino cultures present in Four Sisters and a Wedding:
Mama’s Favorite
This is heavily implied in the film serving as one of the main plot points. Teddie, the eldest child, played by Toni Gonzaga is always favored by their mother, played by veteran actress Coney Reyes. This creates tension to the relationship with her sister, Bobbie, played by Bea Alonzo. While Bobbie being the smartest and most accomplished child, it appears insufficient to receive the same amount of her mother’s attention.
There is an awkward scene in the film where the characters are gathered in front of a wall filled with the medals and academic achievements of the Salazar children. Their mother in excitement requested for Teddie’s master’s degree believing she completed it overseas so she could display it on the same wall. But Teddie never had it in the first place.
On the other hand, Bobbie who had her master’s degree taken in Columbia was seemingly dismissed by their mother despite Bobbie mentioning it before. It is as if the things related to her do not matter largely. A lot of scenes in the film from backstories and their mother’s treatment showcased the clear favoritism.
When parents pour an unequal amount of love to their children, it generates insecurities to the unfavored and causes rifts in the family relationship. This kind of treatment made Bobbie, with all her accomplishments, believe that she will always be in the last spot in terms of her mother’s affection— making her feel less important. It built a strong character of independence within her that is misunderstood throughout the film.
Clinging To Debt to Fake a Status
Debt itself is not a problematic behavior but its careless use is where the problem roots. The character of Teddie supposedly is a teacher based in Spain but she was laid off due to an economic crisis forcing her to work multiple jobs as a waitress and a maid while keeping it hidden to her family.
When her younger brother, CJ, played by Enchong Dee, wants them to go home for his wedding, it becomes a major issue when she could not afford a ticket back home while keeping the facade of her supposed successful life as a teacher abroad. Due to unstable low-paying jobs, it made her desperate to borrow money from her co-worker, Frodo. While the intention behind it is noble, it does not diminish the error in the act.
A lot of Filipinos seem to be in the same financial mindset. While it has not been discussed in the film, resorting to debt to achieve an ideal image and hide a struggling status is an irresponsible habit. If you notice throughout the film, you can always see Teddie wearing fancy clothes living up to her crafted social status to cover up for her precarious financial position. This practice aside from money issues stacking up in the future, it encourages a person to see their worth in superficial status rather than the reality of their experiences.
The issue could have been simply resolved with a little bit of honesty and humility to ask for help from her family. But Teddie, with the pressure and expectation of the eldest daughter could not bear the disappointment from what her career played out— something that she never envisioned for herself. That is why she is trying desperately to hide it even if it means damaging herself, financially and morally.
Judgement From First Impression
First impressions are a pivotal moment in every social interaction. However, it carries a shallow approach when the overall idea of a person is reduced based on mere impressions.
One of the funniest scenes in the film was when the Salazar sisters finally met the in-laws of their younger brother depicting the pamamanhikan culture of Filipinos. The introduction was nothing of the ordinary with the extravagant outfits and theatrical introduction of Princess, CJ’s fiance played by Angeline Quinto, that appeals weirdly unusual to the sisters forming an unlikely first impression.
There are scenes where they also went on to comment on her appearance and way of dressing without knowing her personally. They solely based on their first impression as a determining factor to be convinced that Princess is an unacceptable match for their brother.
Assuming the worst in person is not a healthy approach to know a person. This showcases the judgmental tendency of the sisters. Rather than opening themselves for an opportunity to learn more about Princess on a deeper scale in hopes of finding the same qualities their brother found in her, they chose to focus on their preceding impressions to cloud their judgement of her.
Family Trespassing
You are free to argue with it but the main plot of the movie is toxic.
After deciding for themselves that CJ’s chosen fiance is displeasing to their standards coupled with the arrogant personalities of her family, the four sisters Teddie, Bobbie, Alex, played by Angel Locsin, and Gabbie who is played by Shaina Magdayao, devised a plan to stop the upcoming nuptial by all means necessary.
This decision, although attached with the motive of protecting their younger brother demonstrates the lack of trust the sisters had for his decision. It seems like they forgot that CJ is a twenty-three-year-old adult. It may seem too young to some standards but he already has an established career and maturity.
But from the perspective of the sisters, “Masyado ka pang bata,” as Bobbie said. They are convinced that he is incapable of handling such critical decisions in his own life. That is why they came up with certain actions that trespass boundaries even as siblings. Their intrusion had led to a conflict in their relationship with their younger brother.
Being an elder sister or a brother to your sibling does not give you a right to control their actions and manipulate their lives to your whims. While it is only natural to carry concern for the welfare of younger siblings, it is essential to give them the freedom to live their lives and stand with their individuality. Doubting them helps no one but only discourages them.
Parents’ Expectations
In the earlier scene of the movie after the family reunites again, they shared a dinner together. While having a conversation at the table, the mother suddenly asked Teddie about a possible vacancy in her workplace, hoping that Gabbie could have a better career abroad than simply being a local teacher. This subtle downgrading diminishes the hard work that Gabbie has for herself.
She also went on to give remarks on Alex’s career saying, “We could all do better,” implying her dissatisfaction to it. While it shows the concern of a mother to her children’s welfare, it does not demonstrate a healthy parenting. Especially that it was later revealed in the movie that Alex is deeply passionate about filmmaking.
Based on her response afterwards, “Oh Ma, ba’t ako na naman?” It goes to show that there is a consistent pressure on her side. It made her fully convinced that her career compared to her siblings is a failure or “kulelelat” as Alex liked to call it. This pressure throws her efforts and passion aside deeming her insufficient.
Parents often forget that their children even without saying it wanted their parents to be proud of them. Being a critique rather than your child’s first supporter does not push them towards greater success but only pushes them away.
Sibling Rivalry
Sibling— the best friend that can turn into the worst enemy.
The tone of rivalries among the sisters were prominent as well. This is initially present in the feud of Alex and Bobbie after Bobbie’s ex-boyfriend, Chad, became Alex’s current. A lot of the audience seems to side with Bobbie on this one. It does not only break the girl code but a spit to her existence as if she and her feelings were discarded like trash. That is why you easily could sympathise with her anger and experiences.
More than that, the betrayal and disrespect that Bobbie received from the person she trusted stings the most. Alex was indeed insensitive and stupid to do it to her sister. Especially on the scene when she decided to bring her boyfriend to their house with Bobbie present at the same time. It brings an unpleasant and uncomfortable atmosphere within the family.
Also, Teddie bearing envy towards Bobbie’s accomplishment shows another form of rivalry within the siblings. There are some scenes in the film where you can see Teddie’s snide remarks and growing irritation towards her sister. Rather than celebrating her success, she chose to look at it from the perspective that is totally demeaning to her own qualities. Unconsciously, this jealousy slowly changes the image of Bobbie in her mind— branding her as arrogant with superiority complex.
There is no perfect relationship even with the closest siblings but it is vital in a household for love and support to prevail. It ruins the bond of siblings when they see themselves more as competition and enemy and less as a family.
Prolonged Issues
The characters have been in constant miscommunication and misunderstanding throughout the movie making it difficult for them to address and resolve their issues.
Like for example, Bobbie’s avoidance of Alex for five years due to the ex-boyfriend issue. This gradually deteriorated their relationship without even resolving it properly. Looking from Alex’s side, she did take shots to reconnect with her sister, constantly establishing conversation and taking her side at one moment on the scene where their mother reprimanded Bobbie for acting frank and outspoken during the pamamanhikan. While Bobbie’s feelings are valid, her refusal to communicate with her sister has certainly added some fuel to the fire.
Teddie lying about her living condition in Spain for years also had come at a great cost. Instead of admitting failure, she tried so hard to evade it. With the lies long behind, it becomes more difficult to face it, eventually complicating her situation.
Having conflicts in a family comes as natural as fighting for the last piece of meat on the table during dinner. Yet settling it right away can cut it from growing into animosity. The final confrontation of the film where every character has opened their deep-rooted issues for it to be addressed, hear what they all needed from each other, and finally begin to heal proves that no problem is left unresolved with proper communication.
But Should These Toxic Cultures Define a Family?
With all these family issues existing not just in movies but in real-life, the most important thing is that it never reigned in the film nor it should be in real life. With all the flaws and missteps by each character, the film also showed us that there should be a big room for growth and forgiveness within us.
While one needs to wield a great amount of power to forgive someone, it takes a lot greater when it’s yourself that you have to forgive. It is also crucial to take small steps towards improvement everyday in every aspect, may it be as a child to your mother, a sibling, a friend, or generally as a person.
Like how Bobbie found the piece to forgive Alex after years have passed, Teddie’s honesty and acceptance to her situation, Alex making amends to Bobbie after her shortcomings, Gabbie stepping out of her comfort zone, and every character learning from their failures.
The main essence of the film stands still— that every family has its own scars and imperfection, sometimes it can be exhausting, and there are challenges that arise; but at the end of the day, it is your family, your siblings, that will accept your flaws, forgive your wrongs, and comfort you when the world has forsaken you entirely.
