THE term “FOMO”–an abbreviation for ‘Fear of Missing Out’ had been a prevalent term not only for the younger generation but also for the older ones. Once upon a time, we’ve all experienced it—whether it’s in the form of being envious of what we see on the internet or just feeling completely negative as we feel like we’re missing out on something. 

The Fear of Missing Out makes us feel like we want to be in a loop, whereas even if we aren’t in that place–we feel like we have to be in that place to feel happy and soothed. It’s a social pressure where it drives a person to keep up with things that are trending to feel like they truly belong in that place.  

The idea of being able to keep up with everything gives us a sense of satisfaction by having our anxiety settled at ease. Keeping up on what is happening around us might seem like an easy task at first but in the long run—we slowly transition at the pace we’re we’ll slowly feel obligated to keep up just because we happen to feel like we have to. 

In the end, putting ourselves in the situation of being able to keep up with everything just makes us feel bad about everything. 

However, there is an antidote that can eliminate this negative and this is through embracing the Joy of Missing Out.  

For this article, RepublicAsia invited Dr. Maria Bernadette Arcena–a working Psychiatrist for St. Luke’s Medical Center and in Medical City Clark and Providence. Aside from being a psychiatrist, she is also taking care of patients at the rehab center. But before we jump on embracing the joy of missing out, let us first understand FOMO and why a lot of people go through this phase. 

Understanding the ‘fear of missing out.’ 

The fear of missing out is often associated with acceptance and a sense of being connected. And through the observation of Dr. Arcena–she thinks that those are the things that most younger people tend to lack. 

One factor that contributed to this situation was the Pandemic lockdown last 2020, where a lot of people (especially the younger generation) were forced to detach from the people they were close with. 

“This is something, that wherein very real because during the pandemic, it’s like there a lot of happened.” She said. 

She explained that since the lockdown had caused complete isolation to avoid communicable diseases, longing for human connection became scarce to most people.   

“It’s like you want to be in a group—you want to know what’s happening inside. And then you’d feel like you’re missing out on something if you’re not there.” She explained. “So there’s always that fear where you won’t feel appreciated because you don’t know what’s happening,” she added.  

There will always be a phase in a person’s life where they would feel like they’re missing out on something, and that phase is something that is mostly associated with a person’s teenage years.   

The fear of missing out is something that most teens and young people do and the reason behind this is to have a beautiful concept of yourself. 

“This fear of being out is something that you feel especially when you’re trying to have your group (of friends) as the sense of belongingness is there. You feel the need to interact with anything and everything just so you can have a beautiful concept of yourself.”  

Dr. Arcena pointed out that this is something that usually happens in the younger generation–even reaching the point that a lot of these younger people had admitted to feeling like this especially when they’re close with their group. 

The negative effects of FOMO  

“This fear of missing out usually happens when you’re very anxious and when you don’t have a sense of worth and sense of time with yourself. And you feel like you don’t belong if you will not join.” 

Based on studies conducted during the pandemic and according to Dr. Arcena, the cases of anxiety and depression are high nowadays. Another contributing factor of high anxiety is also linked to FOMO. 

While the negative effects of FOMO have always been visible in the older generations—it is just much more enhanced nowadays due to the terminology and the need to be with somebody. 

Embracing the Joy of Missing Out 

Just because something sounds negative in the sense that it seems like it doesn’t have an antidote–there is a way to further reduce the negative aspect of this. 

It is easy to say that FOMO doesn’t have a bad effect on us–however, it is always the effect that matters in this type of circumstance. While the idea of not being able to catch up with what’s happening can be excruciating, did you know that not focusing on what is happening can give you peace of mind?    

Happiness is something that shouldn’t depend on being in the loop. And something that Dr. Arcena suggested to embrace the joy of missing out is to: 

• Strengthen our self-esteem
• Strengthen our sense of belongingness
• Strengthen the sense of image.  

She stated that as long as you feel confident and content with yourself, you wouldn’t have to feel the need to be in a group or to feel like catching up on something.  

Transition into a positive mindset 

Meanwhile, the thought of embracing the Joy of Missing Out isn’t only limited to that as one should also put an effort to transition into a positive mindset.

For instance, instead of taking failure as a failure–one should take is as a challenge. Instead of thinking “This is something that I cannot afford” then one should take it as a sign to work harder for it.  

“What’s important is that we’re not thinking negatively because when you start your day thinking negatively then the day will turn bad.” Dr. Arcena stated. “Instead of starting your day bad, turn it into something positive, turn the negative into a challenge. After all, in this crazy world that we have, it’s more of surviving, enjoying, (and) being with people who inspire you.”    

Recognize the loops 

Changing one’s mindset into a positive one was never an easy task but it takes time and maturity to recognize and detect that you’re being on a loop. 

“You don’t need a million followers for you to be happy, you don’t need people who would place emojis or responses into their comments to make you happy.”    

Everything in this world is temporary. One must learn how to create something more permanent rather than just emojis that you can generate within a second.

In this digital age, what’s important is to learn the value of face-to-face interaction with family and friends and for Dr. Arcena, that’s the real essence of life. 

“Why live in the fantasy when in the real world you can have your family or you can have the love that you wanted? Why create a fantasy world when you can create a real-world wherein true love exists?” 

Learn how to say ‘no’.

Sometimes, saying no doesn’t make you a bad person nor does it make you selfish. Self-love is not selfish and learning how to say no to challenges teaches you to be in control of your feelings and emotions–therefore, you are not dependent on people to be happy. 

“Self-love should be implemented and mental health care should be done especially if it’s too toxic to be with people.”