QUARTER-LIFE is a new chapter in our life where we take things seriously. It is a shift to the so-called real world, where people enter adulthood. A chapter where we can feel uncertainty questioning our life purpose, career path, future direction, and life choices.
Quarter-life crisis happens in mid-20s or early-30s but it can also happen in early 20s when one is already questioning his or her life direction. This crisis makes someone anxious in their life path because of the pressure they felt, which may come from other people, self, and society’s standards.
People start to experience quarter-life crisis usually after graduation due to the sudden change of lifestyle and increased responsibilities. Many people say that the transition from college to the so-called real world is overwhelming. Some of them couldn’t handle this leaving them stuck to this crisis. Some survived and were able to get out of this.
Stepping into the real world
Mark Angelo Solo, 26, who worked at an educational institution as a professional, said that the transition from college to the real world is hard. Due to this, he became aware of everything. He added that he needs to be responsible in everything he does, especially at work.
“You need to take care of yourself and your family while earning and sustaining your needs. Repeating the same cycle of working-earning is draining, especially in these times where cost of living is high. When I was a student, it was also hard because I am a working student. But back then, I only focused on earning and studying. Unlike now, I need to worry about everything, including my family,” he said.
But for 23-year old Eloisa, who is getting ready to take a licensure examination, it still feels like college but with more pressure and faster pace. Despite this, she was still able to perceive things positively.
“I still have to wake up early for review classes and stay up late to study even more. The biggest difference is that there’s no set schedule like before, so I have to be more disciplined in managing my time. There’s a lot to learn in a short time, which makes each day feel like a race to keep up. It feels like a transition of still being a student and entering the so-called real world. I think the best way to describe this stage of my life is “malayo pa, pero malayo na“—there’s still a long way to go, but I’ve already come so far,” she explained.
Myca Mae Mayores, 22, who was supposed to graduate last year but had to take another year is also experiencing a quarter life crisis. She said that she did have a vision before- the plans that she thought she would follow, paths that she was determined to take. But now, as graduation approaches, she feels lost.
“I don’t know where to start or where my plans will lead. It feels like being a child learning to walk again. My plans have crumbled, and I keep asking myself: Am I on the right track? Should I take a different path? Or should I just go with the flow? The question that keeps running through my mind is, “Kaya ko ba? Saan ako magsisimula?,” she shared.
Work vs. rest
People who suffer from quarter-life crises are torn into two pathways: working and resting. If they choose to work, they may experience the bittersweet reality of being an adult. If they choose to rest, they will feel pressure from others, even if others do not directly ask them when they are going to get a job.
Myca said that she sees herself working rather than taking a rest after graduation. “As someone who was supposed to graduate last year, I feel pressured. I can’t help but think about the months I could have spent working and helping my family. I also feel pressured knowing that I have a younger sibling to support,” she stated.
Likewise, Eloisa wanted to work as soon as possible. “I feel like I’ve already rested enough when I chose not to take the board exam last November 2024. So, after I take the board exam, whatever happens, I’m planning to start working because I feel like it’s long overdue, and I’ve wasted too much time. To be honest, I’m already looking at job listings on LinkedIn,” she said.
However, Angelo said that it’s better to rest for a while as a fresh graduate and work when mentally ready. “In the real world, it is really draining especially during the early years of working since you need to adjust to the people around you because you’ll meet different kinds of people,” he explained.
Whatever the situation we may be in the quarter-life, we would still have a problem. Those who are dreaming at the start were full of passion and ambition to pursue a job and help their family. But the moment when you are already at the workplace, it could be draining, especially if you enter a job when you are still not fully prepared. You will have regrets like you could’ve rested even just for a bit.
Resting is important after the long run of exhaustion from studying. It could help them refresh their minds free from the stress they got from school. This may also help them to mentally prepare themselves for the world they are about to face.
Getting stuck in the quarter-life crisis
Not all are struggling with just working or resting. There are some who have tried both and quitted the job. This resulted in them getting stuck in the darkness of the quarter life crisis. They think that their life has no direction.
Myca thinks that people get stuck in a quarter-life crisis because they can’t handle the stress and pressure from their environment. “They struggle to voice out their inner thoughts and express their emotions. Some people feel the need to stay strong for others because they have responsibilities to support, while others believe they shouldn’t show any signs of weakness,” she said.
Meanwhile, Eloisa feels like people get stuck because they get overwhelmed by the pressure to figure everything out all at once. “They tend to worry about meeting other people’s expectations or keeping up with their friends instead of focusing on their own growth without comparing their progress to others,” she supposed.
Dealing with quarter-life challenges
Nobody wants to get stuck by the quarter-life crisis. It’s important to know what to do as we approach it. Getting ready and knowing the things we should expect as early as now may help us to be one step ahead from the problem.
For Angelo, another reason why people get stuck by the quarter-life crisis is because they stay in their comfort zone or they are mentally affected. “Though this is a part of life, one should continue progressing, no matter how big or small the steps may be. Guidance can help, but the biggest factor in one’s progress is oneself. Believing in yourself is a great start since most people will be by your side when you win, but not when you lose,” he said.
As Myca did, she felt the most pressure last year when her batchmates were graduating. But as the time went by, she accepted this happening in her life. “Over time, I learned to accept my situation and focus on my own journey. I realized that everyone moves at their own pace, and what matters most is that I keep moving forward,” she shared.
Eloisa shares the same sentiment with Myca. “There’s nothing wrong with setting a certain age or year to achieve your goals, but you also have to understand that everyone has their own perfect timing. However, just because you haven’t achieved your goal yet doesn’t mean you’ve failed. I think the best thing to do is to learn to be happy with what you have now while still trying to be better every day,” she stated.
All of them have different approaches in dealing with the pressure given by others. Angelo doesn’t pay too much attention to it and just focuses on his personal goals. While Myca seeks for peace of mind when she feels pressured. Eloisa, on the other hand, said that she’s not good at handling her emotions, that’s why she copes through prayers and believing in God’s will.
“I just ignore them and focus on what I do because I don’t need anyone to reach my goals but of course I see them as my guide in becoming who I am today and continue my progress for the better of my life. Life is a continued process and everyday is an opportunity to learn. As of how I live for now, there are more struggles to come but I am prepared and ready to face it,” Angelo said
“I go to a high place where I can see the entire mountain, distancing myself from people when I feel pressured. I return only when I feel like I can smile again. When the pressure from social media becomes too much, I deactivate my account and only reactivate it when I feel okay,” Myca stated.
“I have Bible verses on my wall to help me find peace of mind, such as Psalms 55:22, Philippians 4:6, and Luke 11:9. I also listen to Sunday service podcasts to calm my worries. I can honestly say it helps a lot because before, I would pray, “Kung hindi para sa akin, ipilit natin.” But now, I pray for His will while trying to give my best, even when I sometimes feel like my best isn’t enough. If it’s meant for me, it will happen. If not, I trust that God has a better plan for me, because His will is always what’s best for me,” Eloisa shared.
Moreover, Eloisa added that we also need to understand that not everyone will believe in us. “No matter what we achieve, some people will always have negative things to say. We should focus on ourselves and not worry about what others expect from us in order to grow,” she added.
Getting out of the quarter-life crisis starts from believing oneself. Whatever may happen, nothing could make them change their minds if they believe in themselves. There may be ups and down, but this is what would make them stronger in the long run. It is the tough moments that help us grow and figure things out.
We will learn to accept things for what they are, even when things don’t go exactly as planned. Life doesn’t always follow the script, but that’s okay. It’s all about focusing more on ourselves and understanding that everyone has their own pace. We don’t need to compare ourselves to others because we all have our own perfect timing. What’s important is that we keep trying to do our best.
The pressure we get from other people is just like a piece of advice. We have the control to decide whether we will take it or not. We know ourselves best, and what works for us. Moreover, advice is supposed to encourage us, not weigh us down.
Quarter-life is a chapter we all face as we turn in early 20s when life gets serious. It’s up to us how we will find our own direction. May this direction be the way to a bright future.
