SCROLLING through Tiktok, Facebook and other social media platforms makes one realize the remarkable shift in the present-day definition of romance. If you heard the terms “fling”, “talking stage”, “backburner”, “situationship”, and “ghosting” that were popularized in the modern media and Gen Z culture, and somehow it rendered even the slightest flinch in your system, you might have fallen in these love traps at some point. 

Every so often, other Gen Zs are equipped with their “sana all” sentiments when witnessing couples who have endured multiple years of romance — as if seeing an endangered species of bird fly out in the open. These reactions suggest the undeniable decline of long-term relationships in contemporary romance.

But can it really be a mere trend or do stable relationships have become a rare phenomenon in a society where people have achieved justifiable standards and unique perspectives that love has transformed into an idealized and nearly unattainable concept? 

There are people who would rather play it aimlessly before getting serious in love —  the playboys. There are some who love the feeling of short-lived thrills and flatters but as quick as a gust of chill when push comes to shove —  the casuals. Some have acclimated by just enjoying the warmth of each other’s company that they forgot to draw a line between them— the unlabelled.

We cannot also deny the existence of red flags, cheating issues under the micro and macro categorization, personal romantic standards, and a long-list of reasons that give love an untimely end. Indeed, modern love has become complicated and elusive to manage. 

When Gen Zs are asked about their perspective on fleeting modern romances: 

Christel, a 22-year-old Gen Z, implied that the leniency of the present time had encouraged the youth to freely explore relationships without restrictions. 

“Kasi parang hindi siya gano’n ka strict, like yung parents. Mas free yung mga kabataan ngayon kaya hindi sila ganon ka serious,” she said. 

Joanna (21), on the other hand, expressed that Gen Zs are more likely enticed by the novelty of the experience that they engaged on flings for the sake of it. 

“Kasi gusto nila ng experience, for me,” she said. 

Jade (22) attributed repeated issues of cheating prevailing especially in the media, gradually staining the idea of love among Gen Zs. 

“I think dahil marami na rin ang nagshashare ng experience nung mga serious relationship. Kunwari may cheating na. Siguro… Marami kasi akong nakikita nagapost ng gano’n. So parang naapektuhan na rin sila na ayaw na rin nilang magtiwala,” she noted. 

While these sentiments proved that short-term relationships are put under the normative standards, surprisingly, Gen Zs still yearn for the genuine experience of serious romance — a blooming romantic in the garden of uncommitted, temporary and complicated affairs. Maybe, Gen Zs are the opposite of what many stereotypes portrayed them to be.

That relationship for them is as easy as taking a coin in the pocket to spend and move on to the next after the purchase. Some of them take love seriously but are placed in unfortunate and uncontrollable circumstances where the only option left is to concede before further damages are acquired. 

There are millions of metaphors about love but looking at it as a gamble is yet its most perfect visualisation. Losing will always be inevitable if you bet on the wrong side. Fortunately, for some, they have managed to master the pattern of winning in this unpredictable game. 

A person from an eight and running relationship shared her journey to a strong relationship:

“Para sa akin ang secret sa long lasting relationship ay… to understand each other. I-accept mo yung flaws ng bawat isa. Tsaka ito pa pala, hindi talaga namin pinapatagal ‘yung away namin, oras lang ay nasosolve din namin. Never pa kami nag cool off sa loob ng eight years pero ‘yung hamunan ng break meron. Pero di nagtatagal ng one hour ay naaayos din,” she narrated as she reminisced the past eight years of their ups and downs. 

Another couple from a six steady years suggested a simple tips to preserve the sweetness of a time-hardened relationship: 

“More on dates. At least three to five times a month,” the woman suggested. 

“Lagi ko siyang inuunawa at iniintindi,” the man proudly said. 

Acceptance and understanding are the common denominators from the longstanding relationships above. This is what separates their relationship from failed connections shrouded in misunderstanding, absence of trust, and lack of commitment.

With acceptance, a partner is seen as a real-life human with innate imperfections and not as an ideal construct. Coupled with understanding that strengthens the communication and empathy of a pair, altogether, takes a relationship to new heights on a regular basis.

Furthermore, these efforts should not come solely from one party but must be performed synchronously by the pair to create the balance that nourishes a relationship. 

Basically, long-term relationships are still attainable when there is an effective dynamic that serves as a guideline in the intricate system of a relationship. But it is also important to note that relationship dynamics vary from one couple to another.

Constantly going on a date may sound viable for some while others may find it unnecssary. Couples must learn the best strategies that best fit their relationship. It does not have to be a special or a grand gesture but something done with utmost love and pure intention. 

Love is a universal validation that proves human existence. When we love, we feel a complex web of emotions from the pestering butterflies in the stomach, happiness, jealousy, doubt and emotions that we are yet to understand. It is inescapable as human nature. And Gen Zs are no exception to that grand rule. No matter how accustomed they are to the concept of flings, the human inclination to love and crave a relationship that can span for decades or hopefully, a lifetime, succeeds. 

So, if you are worrying about the current state of romantic relationships that were thrown away as easily as it is acquired. Fear not. Romance will always remain alive and persisting as long as someone is brave enough to welcome its beauty along with the hideous corners that completes it. 

With reports from Loyd R. Tolentino