DATING could be any activity that you do with someone you like, from a high-end dining experience to a simple street food date. While dates vary, one common thing is the financial consideration that comes with them. Just like how ideal dates are a matter of preference, the preference on who should pay the bill on the first date also varies among Gen Zs.
Traditional dating norms
Traditionally, the financial responsibility was largely placed on men. Aside from that, they were expected to do everything for a woman’s ‘yes.’ They were expected to court women through gestures like harana, where a man sings a song to a woman to confess his love; they were also expected to pick up and drive women on her way home. Meanwhile, women were expected to take care of the household chores.
However, generations evolved significantly and so did perceptions of societal roles. Women are no longer expected in the kitchen but are empowered to pursue careers outside their homes, while men are no longer expected to be bringing the money alone.
This suggests that the preference of who should shoulder the bill on the first date progressed compared to the traditional societal expectations.
Whoever initiated the date
Loyd R. Tolentino, 22 and single, believes that the person initiating the date should take on the financial responsibility.
“If you’re the one to ask someone on a date, I think it’s basic decency to pay the bill,” he asserts.
This resonates with the idea that planning a date comes with certain expectations, including the willingness to cover the expenses.
Dan Christian Epa, 23 and currently in a relationship, has a similar opinion about the situation. While he believes that the person who asked should pay, he still emphasizes the importance of equal contribution, “Much better we intend to contribute especially when it comes to big expenses like food,” he explains, which illustrates the balance of both traditional and modern dating expectations.
Give and take
The concept of reciprocity is important in a relationship, especially in terms of dating finances. Dan believes that the act of paying the entire bill for your date should be reciprocated. “In my experience, whoever has money or extra money to spend [should pay], but make sure that we reciprocate when there are opportunities.”
This highlights the evolution of dating expectations where the financial responsibility no longer falls on men only, nor who only has money, but on both as it is a shared responsibility. This relationship set up will likely make both partners feel valued and equal.
Splitting the bill
Christine Alcantara, 23 and single, echoes the viewpoint on shared responsibility. Loyd agrees, believing that if one insisted on splitting the bill evenly, it should be honored.
“I think it should be considered. Because there are people who value independence and do not want the feeling of being indebted. So, I think we should respect that,” Loyd stated.
These perspectives on dating finances among Gen Zs no longer pinpoint gender roles, rather more on mutual respect and responsibility to avoid imposing the sense of obligation and dependency to either individual dating.
Whether one chooses to pay, split or contribute in covering the expenses of a date, open communication and understanding each other’s perspective about it is important. In this way, dates can be both satisfying and fulfilling for both individuals, making them crave for more.
