LOVING your own body is not easy. This is harder for women, whose bodies go through a lot due to their menstrual, pregnancy, and menopausal stages. This journey of love for one’s body is even way harder now that unrealistic representations of women are all over social media, which society perceives as achievable.
Although it is not illegal and ethically wrong, some women are encouraged or sometimes pressured to go through surgeries to enhance their bodies due to beauty standards. Some admit, some don’t – claiming it as completely natural, in turn destroying other women’s confidence and worsening society’s already unrealistic and unreachable standards towards women.
This proves that every woman has a different way of embracing and improving their bodies to love them. Regardless of these ways, women support women in being positive towards their bodies.
Body Positivity
Body positivity includes embracing everyone’s body types and flaws including your own. Being positive about your own body means supporting and loving it like you would someone else’s.
Averie Miles Anselmo, 21, believes that body positivity means being appreciative and accepting of your own body regardless of the societal standards.
“It’s about feeling confident and comfortable in your own skin and recognizing that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes,” she stated.
Chesca Louise Cocos, 21, echoes this viewpoint, claiming that body positivity is acknowledging your body as it is. “It’s embracing your uniqueness [and] never comparing yourself to others. It is loving your own body, and by loving, it means taking care of your body in the best possible way you can,” she shared.
This strengthens the idea that body positivity equates to being yourself, where you embrace what you have and appreciate how it’s different from everyone else. However, not putting in the work to take care of your body and leaving it as it is due to the mindset “this is just the way I am” could lead to toxic body positivity.
Toxic body positivity
Toxic body positivity is when someone ignores health concerns for the sake of being positive. For instance, an overweight or underweight person could potentially get sick and be at risk for voluntarily having an unhealthy diet. The decision to keep doing it because “that’s just how they are” and “society should support all body types” could be a toxic body positivity.
Chesca agreed to this, stating that leaving one’s body as it is without taking care of it is indeed toxic body positivity.
“It’s like thinking “I’m fine being this way” even though you know that your body mass index is not normal, or you suffer from physical sickness. Then in this situation, you’re just being positively toxic about yourself,” she emphasized.
Thinking of ways to feel good about yourself is the first step in taking care of your body. However, a commitment to not eating to lose weight or overfeeding yourself for gratification while maintaining the mentality of taking care of your body can be counterproductive. It is important to remember that loving your body should not come at the expense of your well-being.
Improving your body
Giving love to your body is not a goal; rather, it is a journey. It is not an activity with a deadline to chase, nor is it homework you can forget once it is completed. Instead, it is a consistent practice and a habit to which one must remain committed.
More importantly, loving your body does not mean only accepting what it is already, but also working hard to improve it.
Christine Canillas, 18, loves her body by focusing on what her body can do, rather than how it looks.
“I practice self-care, like taking relaxing baths, getting ready, and exercising in ways that make me feel good,” she explained.
Indeed, considering what makes you feel good is also a way of loving your body. Taking relaxing baths after a hectic day can be as therapeutic as sleeping after staying up all night for a work deadline. Rewarding your body with activities that recharge it after working all day is also equally important as exercising it to be stronger and more tolerant of heavier work.
This resonates with Chesca, who shared that being good to her body is her way of loving it. “I embrace my body by being good to it. I eat healthily and try my best to have an active lifestyle,” she explained.
This highlights that taking care of your body does not only include bathing, exercising, and dressing it, but also feeding it with the right nutrients it needs.
Clearly, “self-care” is subjective. Whatever feels good to Christine might not feel healing enough to Chesca, and what feels nice to Chesca might not feel rewarding for you. It is just a matter of self-exploration on what works best.
However, loving your body is not just all physical. It requires emotional effort too.
Shifting into a more positive mindset
Accepting your body is not just physical work. Improving your perspective in body acceptance demands a transformation in one’s mindset as well.
Fatima, 21, supports this, believing that embracing your body should not be done just for looks but also for your own well-being. “Speak kindly to yourself, focus on what your body can do, and surround yourself with positivity,” she explained.
This emphasizes the powerful impact of positive self-talk. Learning to speak kindly to yourself and acknowledging what it can do whether it is physical strength or simply the ability to experience life can greatly shift the focus from how you look to how you feel.
Similarly, Abby Jambalos, 22, maintains the same mindset in carefully establishing her boundaries with online content.
“I refuse to let myself be consumed by what I see online, making me compare myself to others. Comparison is a thief of joy and that is a fact. The less I compare myself to others, the less I would feel insecure about my body,” she asserted.
It is crucial to understand that comparison breeds insecurities. Being selective of the online content you consume and setting boundaries from social media where idealized versions of beauty are frequently showcased can be an effective way to reduce the feeling of low self-esteem.
Dealing with toxic body positivity
Being blinded by societal standards and complying with them at the expense of your health could lead to serious problems. It could happen to you, your loved ones, or even people you don’t know.
However, intervening in these situations requires a lot of consideration. This is because not everyone has the same reason for obsessing over body positivity and not everyone has the same willingness to be helped.
Averie emphasized that intervention is reasonable and should be done with sensitivity.
“If someone’s body positivity is leading them to neglect their health or affecting their well-being, it’s important to express concern from a place of care and understanding,” she explained.
The time, place, and tone should be considered in expressing your concern for someone. Making sure that the person understands that you’re helping out of love and care might help for them to take your thoughts positively.
However, Chesca believes that doing this is only reasonable when you know the person personally.
“If this person has no relation to you, any words of advice or any kind of intervention could only be called unnecessary [or] unsolicited. You will never be appreciated but will be told as nosy or even judgmental,” she asserted.
It is already given that unsolicited advice only makes people feel worse. Knowing the 10-second rule, where you avoid pointing out someone’s flaws they cannot change in 10 seconds, might help you hold back in saying insensitive comments to someone.
So, it is important to understand that individuals have their preferences on how they want to be helped and some don’t prefer it at all. However, if you are in a situation where you have no choice but to help someone be aware of the potential risks of their routine, Abby believes that the most effective way to intervene is to suggest rather than impose.
“Suggest to start a healthier routine, or invite them to do healthy activities,” she stated.
The difference between suggesting and imposing could be trivial to others, but suggesting activities and solutions to someone rather than imposing things they should and should not do can be a compassionate way to make a person feel that they are still in control of their lives more than others do. This is because suggestions can give them a sense of choice and keep them away from the pressure of fixing things.
Bear in mind that when supporting individuals in embracing their bodies, it is essential to only encourage them to do it healthily. Additionally, it is equally important to only intervene after all considerations, carefully respecting people’s boundaries and the ways they prefer to be helped.
At the end of the day, a body looks the way it is because of a person’s lifestyle, health, and genetics. Society should not hate your body because of these things, and neither should you.
