WE have come so far in discoveries and advancement, yet a woman’s body remains a wonderful mystery of the universe.
In fact, its most intriguing aspect comes in the event of a childbirth. How can a mother’s womb have so much life in it that it can store a seed which after nine months of growing transforms into another. Perhaps, it is a miracle, a divine one at that.
However, its beauty is often associated with a painful process that makes it terrifying for most. According to science, childbirth is one of the most painful experiences a human could undergo— the labor process from the contractions, bodily pain, medical operations, plus the emotional toll. It’s ironic how to conceive life, a mother must put herself first in a life and death situation.
Birthing experiences
For a Gen Z mom like Lycka Mendeja, 24, her experience of childbirth was mixed emotions, but primarily overwhelming.
“When it comes sa experience sa panganganak, grabe mala ferris wheel! May takot, sakit at saya, grabe yung kaba. Dahil nga first time mom ako, nandun yung excitement. Pero sa present, makikita mo yung sarili mo na ngarag tapos add mo pa yung madaming injection at test kahit you’re in pain na.” She chuckled. “Hindi maexplain yung experience.”
Contrary to a usual labor scenario with a room filled with the screams of a woman in pain, her experience was sort of mild. It was like a mercy given to her.
“Maraming nagsasabi na mahirap at masakit talaga ang labor. But totoo talaga na hindi pare-pareho lahat. Kasi ako I didn’t really experience labor na in severe pain. May sakit siya but tolerable. I was laboring through medicine. Para lang sumakit at humilab tinuturukan nila ako ng pampahilab,” referring to a medication used when the cervix’ opening is not wide enough for the baby to pass through. “And that’s my labor experience.”
Still, having complications during the process, she went through agonizing minutes that put her very life to the test. This is the moment where Lycka fully realized the severity of her condition. That with a simple mistake or slight irregularities in her condition could be life-threatening.
“Yung turukan ka ng ilang beses, yun yung pinakamasakit… Based on my own experience, sa parte ng panganganak na mahirap para sakin is when doctors and midwives always performing IE or Internal Examination. Every single minute kailangan nila ako i-IE. Imagine how painful it is kasi never pumuputok yung panubigan ko,” Lycka narrated. “Before giving birth kasi need muna pumutok ang panubigan which is the number one sign na ready at lalabas na ang baby. Kaso yung sakin wala agad siyang progress kaya naging mahirap.”
“Tumatakbo lang sa isip ko ng mga time na yun puro prayers. Kasi I was in a 50/50 situation. Before my baby came out, I lost too much blood. Nauna mag release ng blood yung katawan ko before my baby came out. Which is dumating sa point na need na ako salinan ng dugo. I was thinking that time, puro what if; nagkaroon ako ng negative thinking,” Lycka explained.
If a small cut is enough to render a wince on humans, imagine the grand pain a woman suffers when they have to endure continuous hours of unease and discomfort.
“I was admitted at 4 am and I gave birth around 11 pm. Almost seven to eight hours ko siya naranasan at naexperience. Ganun katagal yung pain at takot,” Lycka recalled.
As Lycka previously mentioned, experiences of childbirth vary among women— it is a terror of its own. Carrying her first child, Cris Ann Subaan, 28, was flooded with countless doubts and fears.
“First experience ko sa panganganak, sobrang wala akong idea. Kabado [ako] at takot,” she started.
But the news of her undergoing a cesarean section instead of the expected natural delivery had taken her apprehension further. A cesarean procedure is performed when there are occuring conditions that make natural delivery complicated and unsafe for the mother and the baby.
“Lalo na noong sinabi sa akin ng doctor na need na ako i-cesarean, habang pinapasok na ako sa operating room, wala akong ginawa kundi magdasal lang na sana maging okay lang ang lahat at mailabas [ko] nang safe si baby. Nandun din yung takot nung tinuturukan na ako ng anesthesia na baka hindi na ako magising.”
“Sa panganay ko ay C-section delivery ako kasi overdue na ako at hindi pa ako naglalabor… Hindi kasi ako pwede mag normal delivery dahil hindi sapat yung laki ng cervix ko para daanan ng bata,” Cris Ann explained.
Childbirth is always a risk not only for the mother’s life but for their pockets. Like for Lycka who had to undergo multiple procedures due to some complications, Cris Ann had to accept a cesarean section which is more expensive than the normal delivery. These were way out of their plans yet it occurred. Perhaps, preparing for the worst to come is beneficial.
This is a testament to the importance of financial preparedness and planned pregnancy to every starting family. If the physical pain isn’t enough, the additional burden from the money could cut as sharp as the operating knife.
Moreover, Cris Ann recalled the pain from the initial phase of the operation. The sting as the tip of the injection punctured through the skin especially when it pierced through a sensitive area is enough to make grown humans cry.
“Dahil ako ay cesarian para sa akin ang pinakamahirap sa parte ng panganganak ko ay yung tuturukan na ng anesthesia sa spinal cord. Napakasakit nun!”
Drugged and anxious, she clinged to a prayer not only for herself but for the life that is to come. This is when it especially gets hard; when the life at stake is more than herself but also carrying the life of an innocent.
It is similar for every woman as they lay on the hospital bed waiting and hoping for the most challenging part of the process— delivering the baby safely out to the world. It needs to wield a crazy amount of faith and courage during this event.
“Tumatakbo lang sa isip ko na sana maging ligtas kami pareho, maayos na matapos ang operasyon at walang ano mang komplikasyon,” said Cris Ann.
The gift of life
But despite the seemingly torturous moment, there is no greater joy to compare when a woman finally becomes a mother.
Lycka had one of her most relieved breaths after giving birth. She rose victorious like a soldier who faced the front barely escaping gunshots and attacks.
“Teary eyed! Sobrang saya!” she exclaimed. “Hindi matutumbasang saya kasi naipanalo ko siya sa mahirap na laban na alam kong ako lang yung inaasahan na kakampi niya. Tears of joy talaga. Mapapa thank you Lord ka na lang talaga pag nakita mo na yung anak mo.”
It is the same for Cris Ann, the moment she witnessed the face of the life she brought to the world, the pain suddenly became insignificant.
“Fulfilling yung naramdaman ko pagkatapos ng lahat. Dahil sa kabila ng sakit na experience ko, kapalit naman nun ay isang buhay at regalo. Kapag nakita mo na yung ipinanganak mo, mapapawi talaga lahat ng pinagdaanang sakit,” she said.
It is amazing how mothers instantly connect to their newborns. Not even a second and they immediately understood the love and responsibility to them. It was something greater than love at first sight— an unconditional love.
But then again, they are created from their own flesh and love. After carrying them for nine months, they already established a profound connection that only a mother could comprehend. A fetus may have no awareness of it but the mother felt every kick and every moment of the child inside her womb.
Childbirth aftershocks
But unfortunately, the excruciating pain from the delivery is not where the distress stops for the mothers; it only progresses afterwards.
After the numbness from the medications took off, Cris Ann started to feel the result of the operation.
“Yung magigising after surgery tapos wala na yong bisa ng anesthesia, doon ko naramdaman yong sakit ng hiwa ko sa tiyan,” she recalled.
One its most challenging parts is to manage her everyday life carrying fresh wounds along with the responsibility to her newborn.
“Bukod pa dun ay yong kailangan mo tumayo at maglakad kahit napakasakit dahil kailangan para hindi daw magdikit-dikit yong bituka sabi ng doktor. Napakahirap din kumilos kasi nga may sugat ka at nakakatakot kasi may posibilidad na bumuka… Halos tatlong araw ko naramdaman yung sakit. Kahit pa may mga painkillers na iniinom, dahil nga sariwa pa din yung mga sugat, masakit kumilos,” said Cris Ann.
Newborns are the most sensitive tiny creatures; the effort to breastfeed them, changing their dirty diapers, and consistently tending to them without missing a second is a challenge of its own. Especially when the mother is in the stage of recovering from the wounds from childbirth, this is an extremely tiring duty.
How a mother ‘mothered?’
The strength of a mother is neither defined by her independence nor her pain tolerance. It is duly tested on their faith.
Lycka has the guidance of God and the love of her family to hold onto. Rather than feeling the pain as it is, she remembered the faces of her loved ones to remain fighting.
“Through the help of God, yun yung naging lakas ko sa panahong hinang-hina na ako. Manalig lang talaga, maging positive kahit sa mahirap na situation. Tsaka dahil sa family and partner ko na rin, kasi alam ko kahit anong mangyari hihintayin nila ako sa labas. May tiwala sila sakin kaya kinaya ko at nagpakatatag lang ako para sa kanila at sa anak ko,” she said.
While the physical pain was for Cris Ann to bear alone, her faith gave her the confidence and a sense of assurance that everything will fit right into His plans.
“Unang una nalampasan ko lahat ng ito ng dahil kay Lord. Ipinanatag ko ang loob ko at ibinigay ko sa kanya lahat ng mga alinlangan ko. Ipinagkatiwala ko sa kanya ang buhay ko maging sa sanggol na isisilang ko,” Cris Ann said.
Having a supportive husband during her vulnerable state primarily helped her overcome the overall experience.
“Pangalawa, nakayanan ko ito kundi dahil din sa asawa ko. Malaking tulong yong mga effort nya sa pag intindi at pag alalay sa akin at pagpapalakas ng loob ko.”
Childbirth is already hard as it is. Having no one to rely and place your hopes on during difficult times is a nightmare scenario for women in this kind of situation. Luckily for Cris Ann and Lycka, they have their support systems to assist and reassure them when they are physically and emotionally weakened.
Women are strong not only for their capabilities but also for their faith. Faith is power, may it be a faith to God, to family, or to oneself, especially when things are within a person’s control like childbirth. It is difficult to find light in a dark room; but with faith at hand, it is easier to navigate through it.
The wonders of mothers
Truth is, without mothers, there is neither life nor existence; they are the foundation.
Experiencing childbirth herself, Lycka began reflecting the efforts and sacrifices of her own mother. Truly, motherhood is a unique experience that could only be understood when a woman finally becomes one.
“Sa dami ng realization ko ng mga panahon na yun, mas nanaig sakin yung pagmamahal ko sa mama ko. Ngayong naging ina na ako, dun ko naintindihan lahat ng mga sinasabi ng mama ko sakin. Dun ko mas nakita yung pain at love niya samin napaka unconditional talaga,” Lycka expressed.
To be a woman is to be brave— brave to the challenges that come alongside being a woman; to be a mother is a strength— to be strong not only for herself but for the lives that depend on her. That is what Lycka has appreciated from her experience.
“Napakahirap ng laban ng mga babae. Hindi matutumbasan ng anumang sakripisyo ang kaya naming ibigay. Sa ganitong experience dun ko palang narealize lahat, yung feeling na buhay mo at ng anak mo pala talaga ang kapalit pag naging mahina ka sa ganitong situation. Motherhood is a journey talaga ika nga. Kaya dapat ready ka at malakas ka,” she said. “I salute all mommies out there and to all mommies in the future!”
Cris Ann understood that pregnancy should not be based on a whim of simply wanting to bear a child; it requires the willingness to an eternal responsibility and for a woman to put herself in a delicate position.
“Hindi biro ang panganganak kaya talagang dapat paghandaan at pag isipan dahil nandyan ang panganib. Kaya nga totoo yong sinasabi nila na kapag nanganganak ang babae, ang kabilang paa ay nasa hukay,” she noted.
Experiencing labor and going through childbirth is a different kind of suffering and danger; there aren’t many people who are willing to go through the same experience. Imagine being cut in the abdomen or facing the intensity of contractions. Even the toughest men cowered from pointed needles and sharp-edged knives. For a mother, it feels like an ordinary day.
But once the first cry of the child is heard across the bloodied and sweated room, the pain becomes a reward. Without hesitation, the mother felt connected to the life she is capable of creating. With this life, she is given another purpose in her life.
The experiences of Lycka and Cris Ann highlights the strength and courage of women in facing and overcoming an unimaginable pain. The wounds they acquired in childbirth recovered along with time; the stitches later turned into beautiful memories. But their challenges now as mothers is an everyday task. After surviving the operating room, the lifetime responsibilities to their children begins.
