PEOPLE always talk about the bad things in girl friendships. They say it’s all about the drama, the gossip, the “plastikan”(being fake), but that’s a shallow way to look at it. There’s so much more to these friendships than what meets the eye.
Nobody gets us like our girl friends do. They are those who understand our mood, our struggle, and do all those little things that make us feel well. The same people who make us feel seen and heard. They just know how to lift us up when we’re feeling down.
The bright smile they gave at the opposite end of the corridor. The hand wave and squealing when we saw each other. The hugs and beso beso we shared when we saw each other randomly. The over acting kamustahan when we got to see each other after a long time. These are the moments that remind us we’re never really alone.
Girl friendships aren’t just about girly things, they can be a whole support system. They could give the five love languages that other people find hard to give: quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and giving gifts. Understanding what are the love languages can provide valuable insight into the dynamics of these close connections, as we will see in the following examples.
A friendship can be formed in many different ways. In my case, I’ve met these good people from my high school journey and we keep in touch until now.
Quick escape (quality time)
As a college student, it’s hard to find free time between classes, activities, and all the other responsibilities. Sometimes, our schedule doesn’t match so we weren’t able to go out. But when we finally get the chance, we make sure to enjoy every moment of it.
We usually go to one of our friend’s houses to hangout. It is near the sea so sometimes we set up a picnic there. The front yard has a basketball ring where we can play. There are also many food stalls outside which are perfect for food trips.
Sometimes, this becomes our quick escape to academic hardships. No matter what happens, we found comfort from each other just by spending time together. Being with the people I know for a long time gives me emotional security.
Hanna Lining, 22, said that at times when she needs to breathe, we are the one she’s looking for. She likes the idea of us spending time together just enjoying life without thinking about anything.
“It is just so heartwarming, exciting, and amazing to enjoy and experience life with you: take photos, food trips, talk until 3AM, cry together, and do funny and stupid things,” she said.
Power hug (physical touch)
Have you heard about power hugs? This is the kind of hug that gives us a sense of comfort, support, and love. It can make us feel safe and secure. When someone receives this hug, that person will feel that he or she is not alone.
Don’t you love it when your friends give you a warm hug the moment you see each other and the moment after you had deep conversations?
A hug could ease someone’s pain. I don’t know if it works for all, but for me, it does. Sometimes, just a hug after a long cry makes me feel better. When I had a problem, they would hug me and I suddenly felt better.
Hugs are not just a physical sensation that a person feels, it goes through one’s heart. A hug could remind us that we have someone who understands us especially through tough times.
Also read: Low maintenance friendship: We can[‘t] be friends
Little things that aren’t little (acts of service)
Girl hangouts aren’t just about getting together, they are all about the little things that make it memorable. When we hangout, we bring food, picnic blankets, cameras, cards, and other important things. It is all about making sure that everything feels right.
Fritzie Palatino, one of my friends, always cooks for us when we hang out. For her, it doesn’t matter if she’s busy, she just wants to share something with us. These simple and thoughtful gestures make our hangouts perfect.
“Nasa-satisfy lang ako kapag ‘yung niluluto ko napapatikim ko sa inyo. Bukod don, kayo lang talaga nakakatikim [ng luto ko],” a 22-year old told republicasia.
Comfort of talking about life (words of affirmation)
One of the best things about having girl friends is the space to talk about life: what’s going on with our lives, our concerns, and anything that bothers us.
These friendships are not just for fun, it allows us to be vulnerable without fear of judgment. It offers comfort and understanding most especially to those moments when we need it the most.
Me and my friends spend hours late at night talking about everything. As someone who doesn’t usually share with other people, I find it hard to finally let go of the thoughts that’s been bothering me.
It’s just this one night when we were laying in the sand together, staring at the stars, I couldn’t believe I was sharing for the first time with other people. It felt really good to be heard. Even if the problem does not have anything to do with them, they listen to everything I say enthusiastically.
Sharing a problem is one step already. Having someone to listen to these problems is a blessing. Other people making you feel better is another level of joy- giving you feedback and reminding you of all the good things you’ve done.
Keepsake (Giving and receiving gifts)
When girls give gifts, it’s not about the gift itself. It’s all about the effort and thought they put into it considering what the person truly likes. I don’t ask for anything material because having their friendship is enough. But they always find ways to make me smile with the gifts they give. For several years, I have received so many thoughtful gifts and heartfelt letters from them.
One of the moments that really touched my heart was on my 18th birthday. They surprised me with a gift that I never thought I would have. I received an album of the K-pop group that I love, handwritten letters, and an explosion box filled with pictures of us. These kinds of gestures made me feel truly appreciated.
For Hanna, giving gifts is her way of showing appreciation to her friends. Hanna explained that for her, letters are like pictures. It captures one’s memory and emotion.
“Kasi mahal ko kayo. I appreciate you [and] deserve nyo ‘yon. Gusto ko kasi personal ‘yung gift ko. Gusto ko malaman n’yo ‘yung feelings and emotions [ko],” she shared.
Girl friendships are more than the stereotypes of drama or gossip. It is built on mutual understanding, care, and support that are expressed through the five love languages- quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gift-giving.
The effort behind even the smallest gestures is what makes these friendships special. The late-night conversations and staying up until morning are the things that I will never forget. In these little ways, my friends are not just sharing moments with me. They are showing me that I am not alone in this world.
Girl friendships aren’t just about the good times. They are about lifting each other up through bad times, showing up when it matters, and creating a bond that is unbreakable. It is the coolest friendship a person will ever experience.
