HAVE you ever tried doing something new entirely on your own? Like picking up a new hobby, getting your first tattoo during a summer getaway, moving to another country, or quitting your first job? Does it ever cross your mind to do something without holding back? Not to leave people speechless but to start a change beyond the shadow of doubt.
Like a light switch that suddenly turns on, encouraging you to make bold decisions for your well-being or to step out of your comfort zone—all without seeking anyone else’s approval.
Knowing that doing these things on your own can help you discover your source of happiness and liberally explore your individuality more in different levels. To meet the better you by making better choices, as well as achieve the courage it takes to be yourself and make decisions outside the bubble of other people’s influence in your life. Believing that it will guide you to the infinite beauty of enjoying your own company without the presence of others to proceed.
‘Me time’ as a way of reconnecting with the inner self
One thing to learn in this life is to make intentions and commit to them. To invest time, effort, and energy into yourself and make the best out of it. To be brave and welcome every new and exciting challenge in life that is about to unfold before you. No matter how experienced in every department of life you think you are, it is still crucial to give ourselves the time and opportunities to grow better in many ways we desire to and experience the joy of being alone—not out of loneliness but by choice.
Sometimes, trying things alone can boost our self-confidence and help us get to know ourselves better. Clearing our minds and having extensive knowledge when it comes to our needs and gaining new perspectives in life. It allows us to get in touch with the hidden strengths and weaknesses we may not know we have until they are discovered in pure bliss and between chaos and sorrow.
Your version of “me time” could involve visiting local tourist spots—such places you have been meaning to go to for a very long time now. Fly outside the country and make tons of new memories with new people, trying unfamiliar delicacies you only see on the internet and exploring different languages, cultures, and traditions.
Or probably, simply reading alone in public areas and not minding the noise the world makes—something you previously couldn’t seem to stand doing alone until you learned how to. The anxiousness of yesterday is gone, and the gnawing feeling you thought there is from other people’s stares whenever you are outside and alone gradually vanishes.
What a journey, don’t you think? You are now enthralled to show up for no one but for yourself—unlike before. Because finally, your world doesn’t revolve around other people anymore. Your world no longer seeks for their validations as you have stopped chasing for their acceptance other than yours.
Jira Grace Camua, 24, a registered nurse-medical virtual assistant and now an entrepreneur, has found a deep appreciation for spending time alone despite her naturally outgoing personality. She knows herself as an extroverted individual—a talkative and warm person. She often expresses her thoughts freely and enjoys socializing with her people.
Despite that, Jira loved her spontaneous moments amidst her busy lifestyle. “As a woman with a lot of demands at work, ministry, and different involvements in our community, it’s truly draining to connect with a lot of people,” she said.
For her, she always makes sure that she has her “me time” as her way of reconnecting with her inner self, reflecting on her thoughts that serves as her spiritual and mental refreshments. Jira discovered a profound joy in travelling alone, savoring quiet moments over a meal in a restaurant, or indulging in solo coffee dates—simple yet meaningful activities she regularly treats herself to. These moments of solitude have taught her to embrace her own company, find comfort and stability as she celebrates herself more.
“This makes me feel stronger and fulfilled, knowing that I can do things independently. Also, I always keep this thought in my head that when I take good care of myself, I also know that I can take good care of others as well, and I don’t expect them to return that goodness from me because I already know my self worth,” she happily shared.
Thus,
To-do #1: Do some weekly solo dates and travel alone. Try to engage yourself in coffee dates, perhaps discover your passion in art. Or reflect and make time for yourself through writing down your thoughts in journals. It will refresh your mind and will positively allow you to better understand what you are going through. Experience the magic of solitude and be grateful, travel around and see the world yourself.
To-do #2: Know your worth by embracing solitude. Allow yourself to rediscover who you are, and what makes you happy. Begin the journey of re-learning how to navigate life in your own ways. Explore all the possibilities life could offer and know your worth as a woman, as a human being.
In the same manner, Althea Malabana, a registered psychometrician, and a dedicated core member in Angat Basa Center-Marinduque, strongly advocates for personal growth and self-discovery. With her passion for community service through sharing her knowledge with children, she believes that embracing the art of being alone plays a vital role in nurturing one’s inner strength and clarity.
“I celebrate small wins alone. Before, I admit I fear being alone, but as I grow older I learn to value alone time kase mas nare-regain ko ‘yung strength ko when I give myself a break by doing things alone. We get overstimulated sa dami nangyayari sa araw-araw and alone time has been a part of my selfcare,” Althea shared.
Indeed, life consists of too much rattle and hustle. And knowing how to listen to what our body and soul wants is crucial. Making a conscious effort to self-awareness builds a strong foundation of ourselves that is not only beneficial for ourselves but also to the people around us.
To-do #3: Celebrate yourself in every win. Be comfortable in your presence alone. Breath and take a pause in life if needed. Celebrate even the smallest wins, cheer for your own success in life. Be at peace, because that’s all that matters.
The loud sound of the world often blurs our initiatives to get out of our comfort zones and push ourselves out beyond familiar roads. Sometimes uncertainties pull us away to the places where we’ve always hoped to set our feet. Continuing to live under the same cycle, drinking the same tea over and over again, reading the same chapters repeatedly. Preventing us from expanding our horizons even just once. But if there is something to always remember, that is to have…
The courage of enjoying life alone
Learning to enjoy living alone can be difficult for some people, particularly those who have always been surrounded by friends or depended on other people’s companionship. It takes courage to break away from frequent company since it entails finding solace in oneself without looking to others for approval.
Looking back, Jira opened up about how her path wasn’t easy. Admitting that it was challenging to learn to appreciate life on her own, particularly when she initially began going on personal dates and traveling all by herself. Brought by the fact that she is a daughter of a pastor and a principal, she was always under pressure to live up to expectations and blend in. And though she was always surrounded by a lot of people, she frequently felt alone and unconnected.
“Some of them just used me, wanted to be friends with me because they can have benefits and they know I gladly do things for them even though I really don’t want to do it—because again, I want to please them,” she recalled. From her childhood experience, it taught her to learn life in a different lens. Less people, but greater connection on what she wants and what will make her happy and fulfilled.
In addition, Jira revealed that her perspective changed as a result of her growing connection with God. She came to understand her worth and to love herself without conditions, not from other people’s acceptance.
“That made me stronger today, wiser to know my right circle and environment, not settling for less, and to protect myself by knowing my worth as a woman,” said Jira. This wisdom enabled to accept her independence without compromising her boundaries, embrace her independence, select the ideal group of companions and never settle for less.
To-do #4: Strengthen intimacy with God through prayer & devotion. Empower yourself by strengthening your spirit. Build a greater connection with God.
On the other hand, according to Althea, a person’s capacity to appreciate isolation is significantly influenced by their personality. Being an introvert, she naturally enjoys being by herself and finds solace and tranquility in her, alone. She also underlined how significant it is to develop independence in a fast-paced, constantly-evolving world of today. She views solitude as a means of developing resilience and independence rather than merely a personal preference. That embracing independence enables people to live more meaningfully and courageously.
To-do #5: Be independent. As you embrace a new chapter in your life, you will learn more about the essence of living alone. As you experience the downsides and the beauty of it, it will teach you how to be responsible, boost your confidence and trust that you are more than ready and equipped to face inevitable challenges.
Discovering strength in independence
Jira believes that finding serenity from yourself is vital, as no one else can fully understand and appreciate one’s worth, value, and individuality except oneself. Not even our own loved ones, family, or closest friends we always ran to tell our secrets and aspirations about. “Your choices must not be based on others, because I also believe that we have our own unique path to walk on and purpose and destiny that we will face solely on our own,” she reminded.
To-do #6: Your choices are yours. Do what you do, wear what you want; as long as it doesn’t harm others, then do you. Stand firm in situations where you feel disrespected or undervalued. Do not allow other people to dictate who you are. Live according to your preferences.
Although Althea agreed that women are frequently seen as less independent or physically fit than males, she feels that power transcends physical prowess. She emphasized that numerous women have demonstrated their capacity for self-reliance, exhibiting a distinct form of strength. From her perspective, women can contemplate, identify their talents, and develop a deeper awareness of themselves by embracing isolation.
“Actually serenity allows us to reflect on things, ‘yon ‘yung kailangan natin to evaluate what we’re good at and what we’re not. There’s so much noise in the world; so much demand pero if you took serenity as an opportunity to reflect on yourself, you’ll have more opportunity to get to know yourself and your power. Embracing serenity to reflect and evaluate is empowering,” she claimed.
How does independence fuel empowerment?
Just the mere act of spending time alone can significantly create meaningful impacts in our lives. Waiting for us to recognize them from afar.
Talking about Jira’s experience, it allows her to do more than just ruminate on herself; it allows her to connect with God, whom she views as her source of purpose and strength. She stated that she never really feels alone when she is by herself because it gives her the opportunity to focus on her spirituality, which enables her to better comprehend who she is and how valuable she is as a woman.
“I really do believe that you will understand your womanhood and yourself when you get to know kung sino ka talaga,” she shared. And if she would ask her younger self, she almost couldn’t believe that she could do things alone.
Valuing solitude gives every woman opportunities to recognize their strengths. To become more confident on their own skin as they get to know themselves better on a deeper level, according to Althea. Having an avenue to pursue the wonders of womanhood that lies in every given opportunity that comes in our way. Transforming our goals into reality with greater direction and sense of meaning and purpose.
“We became more resilient. Whether mag-succeed ka or fail, the fact that you did a thing alone boosts our self-esteem,” she explained. Althea shared that one just really has to take everything as a room to understand who we are as a woman. “The more you do, the more learning you get—mas marami ka ng wisdom, and it definitely builds our confidence.”
Furthermore, these are the other more things women believes a woman should try to do at least once:
To-do #7: Give back and lift other women. Volunteer or contribute to causes that not only empower other women but promote the common good. Don’t be afraid to take the opportunity to advocate for yourself and others. Nothing is more fulfilling than being the voice and service of the people. Together we can create a sense of hope.
To-do #8: Do personal projects to grow: skin care, fashion, and health. Maybe it is your sign to upgrade yourself by investing in skin care. Rebuild your confidence and radiate body positivity. Express yourself more by wearing what you want, and what represents you best.
To-do #9: Pursue education and knowledge. There are many opportunities out there. Go and grab it! Take classes, read books, or engage in online learning, whether through formal education or self-taught endeavors. There is so much we can offer; you just have to find your interest and let it spark.
To-do #10: Learn to say no. Lastly, learn to set boundaries. There are people who are still minimizing our capabilities because of their toxic mindset for women—deeply rooted from sexism. However, know that we are not meant to be just merely “followers.” So learn to say no without guilt.
These lists might be too short for a road to empowerment, even unrealistic for some to do them at once. But we don’t have to follow these for a day. Instead, it is a process to go through. And once we have gained a better understanding of their importance, all of these steps to empower ourselves could create a huge impact on our being. Slowly putting each piece we need to build dreams and being confident with our own—that with or without others we can proceed in life and we don’t have to doubt ourselves over and over again, asking if we really have the capability to do it.
For every woman of this generation, keep in mind that loving yourself as much as you love others is a process. You need to embrace and live with your own company before you gladly provide for others. It is easy to connect with other people because it can happen as fast as we meet them, but what is more important is that we know how to navigate our lives on our own. And by that, we can protect our peace better.
Let us start to do things that manifest healing, growing, finding genuine happiness, putting our dreams into reality, and bettering ourselves. Let’s make it personal this time. Because nothing is more beautiful than seeing ourselves happy and content with our successes and journeys. Feeling the rush of excitement of reviving the things we were once passionate about.
What comes next to being able to know ourselves is still yet to be discovered by us. May we continue empowering everyone by simple yet impactful things such as the art of being alone. Let’s make our independence our top priority and allow ourselves to cherish every element of our womanhood more. Let us focus on ourselves and be mentally strong, and stop putting our happiness in the hands of others.
Every woman should experience certain empowering activities at least once in their life to help them grow, find fulfillment, and embrace their independence in a strong and beautiful perspective. Drawing from Jira and Althea’s journeys, they have shared a list of practices that have shaped them into the confident, empowered, and self-assured women they are today. These activities not only nurtured their journey to personal growth but also inspired these women to live purposely and unapologetically, so could you.
It will be hard to take the road to empowerment alone, but it will always start in us. In our own little ways.
