RELATIONSHIPS happen because two emotionally-capable humans connect with each other. Romance is an exchange of love between two individuals who find solace, peace and an exclusive sense of belongingness with each other.
We all want an ideal relationship. We all want that companionship where we can be our barest, most genuine selves and still be accepted, loved and adored. If you do find this, congratulations. You have seen green flags that say this one could be it.
But what if you see the opposite? What if you’re the only one fighting to connect? What if there’s love [or not?] but no peace, belongingness and acceptance?
Watch out, you might just be headed to your own doom. Stop and look for red flags. Save yourself while you can.
But how do you identify these red and green flags? What do you do when you’re confronted with them?
Well, worry not because here is your trusty guide to navigating relationship flags so you would know whether to stay or go.
Red flags:
- Trust issues
Without trust, there is no relationship. It is the basic foundation of all relationships, may it be romantic or platonic, related to family, work, business or everyday affairs.
It is okay to have doubt sometimes. It is okay to feel jealous. It is okay to feel anxious. What’s not okay is having a partner who gives you constant, solid reasons to feel doubt.
It is the same problem when someone has the habit of constantly digging up old dirt and just could not allow you to be the best version of yourself because he or she constantly reminds you of the past. This just doesn’t work.
Because trust should go both ways.
- Gas lighting
Thanks to actress Bea Alonzo, this term gained prominence.
Gaslighting is a psychological term used to describe someone’s manipulative behavior that often occurs in abusive relationships. According to verywellmind.com, it is an emotional abuse where the bully or abuser misleads the target, creating a false narrative and making them question themselves.
Fault on him, blame on you. Relate?
If you do, snap out of it. It’s not worth it.
- Here now, gone later
Everyone has probably experienced dating someone like this.
Presence is important in a romantic relationship. We have to assure our partners that we are here for them constantly. We cannot just show up when we want and disappear when we feel like it.
Love is not a game of hide and seek.
- Ghosting
Is it really too hard to say goodbye?
Nope, you don’t want to experience this but yeah, most of us have.
Ghosting is one of the most infamous means of exiting from a relationship. It is the act of just disappearing or fading out without a word, leaving somebody wondering what the hell went wrong.
And yes, the pain of being ghosted hits different.
So if he did this, think hard, girl.
- Physical and mental abuse
This doesn’t need explanation. One strike, you should be out.
- No dream, no direction
Being goal-oriented is a very attractive trait. If you’re dating someone who doesn’t have a plan for the next ten years, it’s not worth it. Never waste time with someone who you would have to carry.
No goals, no future.
- Bare minimum
This is when your partner gives you just the bare amount of love and respect to keep the relationship afloat, but not thriving.
You’re worth more than this. Don’t accept the bare minimum.
Green flags:
- Making you feel like the most beautiful person
Isn’t this a major green flag?
That feeling of having someone gaze at you as if you’re the most beautiful thing in the world is a taste of heaven on earth.
Plus, eye contact sends an electrifying sensation to the entire body that instantly builds attraction and love.
Go ahead, let him or her take a look at you.
- Touchy, huggy, kissy
Does this even need to be explained?
Touch is a powerful non-verbal way of communicating that strongly transmits the feeling of caring for another person. It also conveys a lot of emotions.
A pat on the back or a hug say you did a great job. A sensual touch especially on the right place says “I want you,” while a tight hug and a passionate kiss are the perfect non-verbal ways to say “I love you.”
On the other hand, the lack of it sends a message of disconnection, so make sure to touch, hug and kiss your partner and make him or her feel your love.
4. Clingy
Contrary to misconceptions, many actually want a clingy partner. Who doesn’t want someone who always wants to be close to you?
There is practically nothing wrong with being clingy because it is a sign of love and we all want that.
5. Sending texts and chatting regularly
Who doesn’t get shivers when waking up to a “Good morning, I love you beautiful,” text message, and a “Can’t wait to see you today” follow up?
Couples cannot be physically together all the time, so if you have a partner who likes to text and chat, congratulations, that one’s a catch.
6. Goal-oriented
Yes, relationships, at least the serious ones, eventually lead to marriage. And so if your partner doesn’t show the drive to succeed or doesn’t have a definite goal for your future, forget it.
We should choose partners who have goals because their perseverance will directly mirror how they will be when the time comes that you build your own family.
7. Introduces you to family and friends
Introduction to friends and family means legitimacy. We build relationships not only with our partners but also their friends, family, and their entire circle.
Being officially introduced gives provides a sense of security and belongingness to your partner’s world.
8. A little jealousy
Yes, a little jealousy is healthy. It is inevitable for jealousy to sneak in from time to time, and it can actually be good. What’s important is to approach jealousy rationally.
9. Lifts and encourages you
Having a partner who encourages you in every way is the best feeling ever. Life will knock you down at one point, surely. But when you have a partner who wipes away your tears, leans your head on his shoulders and hugs you whether you win or loose, he is a keeper.
10. Marries you
This is the ultimate green flag of all. The end goal of all dating journeys is marriage. If your partner expresses signs, and especially declares, his plan to marry you and be with you forever, thank the universe for making your paths cross.
