IF you’ve been on TikTok at any time in the past year, you might have read about the black cat and golden retriever dynamic at least once while scrolling through your FYP. 

If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, here’s the gist of it: opposites attract. 

A black cat and golden retriever dynamic can be defined in many ways, but the main idea is that in some relationships, you have the black cat and the golden retriever. 

The golden retriever is more extroverted and outgoing—someone who people see as a ball of sunshine, ready for a conversation or a night out partying at any given time. 

The black cat is the opposite of this: they’re introverted and like to keep to themselves, tending to stick to the sidelines rather than spending the night conversing with everyone who crosses their path. 

Despite their differences, the unusual pairing works. If anything, Anya and Ally – a perfect example of this dynamic in real life – find that being completely opposite brings them closer together.

Often when you see this trend on TikTok, it’s based on couples from books or movies, but there are several relationships and friendships like this in real life, too. 

If you’re curious about how these two interact or want to see how a black cat and golden retriever avoid clashing given their different energies, read on for Anya’s and Ally’s story. 

Meet Anya and Ally

24-year-old artist and jewelry maker Allyson Fronda – Ally for short – has been mutuals with stylist and content creator Lei Anya Chun since 2020. 

With the COVID-19 pandemic at its peak during this time, they didn’t really have much of a chance to interact with one another except through their screens. 

They were only able to converse by commenting on each other’s posts or by making plans to go to different restaurants when things got better. It took three years before they were able to meet IRL. 

Ally recounts that her first time to meet Anya was when she expressed to the latter that she was also interested in styling. Sometime after, Anya invited Ally to one of her personal test shoots along with some friends, so that Ally would know what it was like on-set. 

“I was so honored. I can’t believe she went out of her way for me to do that,” Ally recalls. 

The two became inseparable. From seeing each other once a week, it quickly became twice, then thrice, until they practically became joined at the hip soon after.

“Right now, me and Anya have been friends – officially in-real-life friends – for over a year now, and she’s one of the most amazing people ever in my life,” Ally shares. 

“She’s super sweet, super supportive, [and] one of my best friends. I cherish her so much.” 

Anya, on the other hand, views Ally as her soulmate. 

She explains: “We just get each other. We can share one look and immediately know what the other is thinking. It’s a very healthy and supportive friendship.” 

Differences help you come together 

Despite how close they are, the two can’t deny that there are many ways in which they’re different from one another. And in these differences, one can see that they very much embody the black cat, golden retriever dynamic. 

Anya shares that they are poles apart when it comes to their style and their personalities. She describes Ally as the sunny golden retriever, almost always clad in light pastels, while she’s the moon-like black cat, dressing exclusively in black, silver, and white hues. 

With Ally as the extrovert and Anya as the introvert, Ally explains that she can often stay up and talk to people for hours on end without getting tired. 

She’s noticed that Anya, on the other hand, sometimes needs time to herself whenever the two of them hang out in a big group. 

“She’s having her own fun… she just doesn’t want to talk sometimes. She just wants to chill in her corner and enjoy our surroundings,” Ally explains. 

The pair don’t mind their differences though. If anything, Anya and Ally celebrate them, seeing them instead as something that draws them closer – a means of strengthening their relationship, as well as a way to broaden one another’s perspectives.

“We learn to appreciate the other person for who they are, the things they have that you don’t see in yourself,” Ally says.

“Being around someone different [from] you gives you an opportunity to learn so much from them. I feel like my world expanded in many aspects because of Anya.” 

Anya adds that a great thing about being friends with someone distinct from you is that it ensures your relationship with that person doesn’t just turn into an echo chamber, reiterating the same thoughts over and over. With Ally, Anya finds her worldviews being challenged by the former’s fresh perspectives. 

She adds: “That’s why I’m so grateful for Ally: we balance each other out. There’s always love and respect between us.” 

A way to meet a new you

If you’re looking for a way to bring out a new side of yourself, then perhaps it’s time to find the black cat to your golden retriever, or the golden retriever to your black cat.

For Anya, a relationship between opposites is a great way to learn new things. It also helps you grow as a person. 

“I think that’s the best thing: being able to learn from another person, admiring, and getting inspired by other people’s differences,” Ally shares. 

Who knows? Maybe some differences may fade over time. Ally notes, for example, that since they started hanging out, Anya’s become more taken with a softer side to her fashion sense, since the two often borrow clothes from one another. 

She even finds herself starting to see Anya in things she didn’t feel any sort of attachment toward in the past, explaining it as – to an extent – a feeling of molding into someone you love given how much you spend time with them. 

To those who may think that the black cat, golden retriever is just BS, or that it’s a dynamic that doesn’t really work in real life, this pair is living proof that that isn’t the case.