JUST recently, 24-year-old Lorelei Vinluan decided to quit her corporate job as a marketing assistant as she could no longer put up with her toxic workmates.

In an interview with republicasia, Vinluan shared that she was being targeted by a certain clique in her workplace. They would often make up false stories about her to discredit her. 

There was also an instance where one of their coworkers informed her about the unkind and defamatory comments they make about Vinluan. She was called a hooker and was even accused of being their supervisor’s other woman.

At first she tried to dismiss the attitude, believing that the group would soon get tired of the hate train they were trying to run against her. However, after six months, things only got worse, gravely affecting the way she does her job and lives her life.

“It’s taking a toll on my mental health,” she said. “I’m growing more and more anxious every day because of their toxicity and it feels dragging to go to the office.” 

Although she already escalated the harassment to the management, Vinluan said they tried to gaslight her into thinking that the snide remarks she received were just playful banters by the clique who is said to be trying to make friends with. She doesn’t think this is the case.

“Telling everyone that one of your colleagues is your boss’s mistress and is bearing a child out of wedlock is not synonymous with making friends with that same person,” said Vinluan.

Whether it’s the gossipy and malicious colleagues or an ill-tempered superior, a toxic work environment can adversely influence one’s mental health and way of life. It could lead to high stress levels, anxiety, and even depression.

What makes a workplace unhealthy

According to a Forbes article, a toxic work environment pertains to a workplace where employees don’t feel valued, supported, and respected.

McCann Worldgroup Director of Human Resources and Corporate Communications Nicole Golloso said it could also refer to a place where there is no mutual respect and trust among the organization and its people.

“Apart from that, I think what makes an organization unhealthy is when there is a lack of communication and when people’s well-being is not being placed as a priority by the leaders and the management,” said Golloso.

It is also a place where employees are not given the opportunity to provide feedback and they feel like there will be some retaliation from the organization when they do, she said. 

A toxic work culture is also a setting where there’s more competition than collaboration.

“This is when there is politicking across the organization,” she added.

Signs that a person is being toxic

Identifying a person with toxic behavior could be quite easy. Golloso said it’s just a matter of observation.

Oftentimes, toxic people are those you don’t feel like mingling with, those who radiate negative energy that makes people around them feel uncomfortable and anxious.

It could also be those individuals who make you feel demotivated, disrespected, and drained even when you’re just conversing with them, she said.

“If it’s triggering negative emotions or feelings, or it’s taking a toll on your mental health, if on a regular basis you get offended by how the person is behaving or talking, then those are already signs of a toxic coworker,” Golloso said.

She also mentioned that cliques who are being avoided by people in the workplace, similar to the group Vinluan encountered, are also a sign of toxicity.

Managing conflicts

Quarrels in the workplace are inevitable. There will always be a point where people would disagree over something and although most of the time, friction can be easily controlled, there are some instances where the dispute can worsen.

Take the case of content producer Mary Villa Cruz. In a separate interview with republicasia, she recalled a situation where she and another one of her team were brainstorming for the content they are to produce release on Valentine’s Day.

They were working for a local flower shop and she wanted to incorporate social media trends like memes to market their products. However, her teammate found it “too playful and childish” and wanted to stick with the traditional way of advertising their business.

Villa Cruz explained how important it is to use these trends as an opportunity to reach more engagement, but her coworker dismissed her inputs and invalidated her opinions. The said workmate even shouted at her for being too full of herself.

“He said I shouldn’t act as if I know everything in the field because I am just a fresh graduate,” she said. “My opinions are baseless, compared to him who spent decades in this expertise.”

Due to the comments, Villa Cruz said she lost her temper and walked out of the conference room. She also escalated the concern to their content lead and asked her if she could reassign her with a different partner.

“I just can’t tolerate people who invalidate someone else’s ideas because of their age,” she said.

According to Golloso, the best way to deal with toxic people at work is by raising the matter to the management. Through this, managers and employees will be able to address office feuds properly.

It would also help to take a break and reflect on the situation when encountering a similar scenario with Villa Cruz. Golloso said individuals should learn how to pause before making their next move.

“People need to learn how to step back, analyze, and take in the situation first before they respond. People should refrain from making big decisions when they are high on emotions,” she said.

“It’s really important to know how to communicate clearly, diplomatically in an organization,” she added.

Aside from this, Golloso said Villa Cruz can also opt to talk it out personally with her coworker in private, making him aware of the issue and how she felt with what he said. 

If this doesn’t work out and one feels anxious or triggered with the situation, all the more it needs to be escalated to your managers, she further explained.

Cultivating kindness

According to Golloso, the ways to prevent an organization from being toxic is simple. It’s just a matter of adding a little sprinkle of kindness whenever people speak or treat their co-workers.

“We should all try to be more understanding, more empathetic, more kind, and just be a better person every day,” she said.

She emphasized that treating people kindly and humanely is contagious — the way people act towards us is a manifestation of the behavior we show them.

“The future of employee experience is going back to the fundamentals of being human. If you treat others kindly and humanely, they will return that favor and treat you the same,” said Golloso.

Respect and open mindedness is also crucial. She underscored that both managers and employees should learn how to show respect to who they work with, regardless of their positions and career backgrounds.

Additionally, Golloso said it is also important to employ conscious inclusion. It’s about creating an environment where people can be who they want to be. This means companies should build and implement policies that would provide a sense of belongingness to their employees.

“Their policies need to take into account how it will affect the people in the organization,” she said.

Fostering a positive attitude will not only help individuals in interacting better with other people. This warmth is often passed from person to another, nurturing a culture of kindness.