AS the number of sexually transmitted infections rises, some Filipinos have resorted to investing in sex toys to prevent themselves from contracting infections. 

One of them is Lily, 25, not her real name, who owns at least four sex toys.

Interestingly, Lily purchased her first sex toy online, a purple dildo.

When the package was delivered, her mom received it.

“It was a very frightening moment when my mom called me that my parcel was delivered at home because I was at work that time and my mom frequently opens my packages,” Lily told republicasia in Filipino.

Fortunately, her mom didn’t open the parcel.

Upon opening the package, I felt a mixture of fear and excitement. Fear because people around me are not open about owning a sex toy, and they see it as ‘gross.’ At the same time, I felt excited because I can finally satisfy myself without being apprehensive if I acquired an infection”

Lily

Apparently, she got over her fear. After that successful online purchase, she bought a penis-shaped lipstick and a vibrator.

Be open-minded

Clinical psychologist Riyan Portuguez, also known in social media as “Your Millennial Psychologist,” says women should not be ashamed of owning or buying a sex toy. The public should be open-minded about it as it promotes sex positivity.

“Hindi naman masama na magkaroon ng mga sex toys, kasi sabi nga natin part of sex education is to inform them about how to protect them from sexually transmitted infections,” Portuguez told republicasia in an exclusive interview.

She also said that aside from preventing STIs, sex toys improve a woman’s or a man’s sexual performance since sex toys also enhance pleasure to improve the urge during sexual intercourse.

When can we say sex toys are bad for sexual health?

According to Portuguez, one of the evident factors to look out for when identifying the adverse side effects of sex toys on someone’s sexual health is if the energy is “focused on sex” most of the time.

“If most of the time yung energy mo naka focus na lang parati sa sex, not necessarily sa sex toys, lagi ka na lang pre-occupied sa sex, puro ka na lang sex nang sex, wala ka nang gingawang iba kundi sex that’s the time we consider it is not healthy for you anymore,” she said.

If someone who owns a sex toy can no longer function well without having sex or imagining sex, it is also an indication that sex toys are taking a toll on them, she said.

‘It’s time to talk about sex positivity’

Some partners face “difficult times” in their relationships because they fail to talk about their sex life more often.

She noted that sex toys should form part of discussions regarding sex positivity. It is “high time” Filipinos should talk about this frequently to normalize the idea of owning a sex toy.

The more na we talk about this, the more na pwedeng ma-normalize ntin to until we reach some time na hindi na siya taboo”

Riyan Portuguez

“Hindi kabawasan ng pagiging lalake o babae ang paggamit ng sex toys, it is built to enhance yung inyong sexual experience, it’s something na okay lang naman na maexperience niyo kasi hindi naman yan kabawasan in fact enhancement nga siya but if hindi ka comfortable, then don’t use it,” she added.

For Lily, although she is not considering a domestic partnership or marrying someone soon, she believes that the reason why sex toys are rarely being talked about is that “sex education remains exclusive” in these areas because the country is a Catholic majority nation.

“I believe that as a Catholic majority nation, sex education is exclusive to the majority or most especially to the sector which needs it the most because our leaders remain restricted with their beliefs; that’s why important topics regarding sex education are still unheard today,” she said.