I’VE been on dating apps for as long as I can remember–which, obviously, isn’t necessarily something I’m proud of. I was rather awkward growing up and wasn’t very good at the whole flirting thing. 

The solution? Find a dating app to do that for you!

A study done by the dating app Bumble reported that around 42 percent of Filipinos joined a dating app in 2021. This number also considerably increased due to the pandemic, which made people more open to the idea of online dating as compared to before. 

Many appreciate dating apps for the convenience these give, the variety of people they can talk to, or simply the freedom of being able to choose who or how many people you wish to talk to. But of course, like anything else, dating apps have their drawbacks too.

The question now is: do the pros outweigh the cons? We spoke with three people that have used dating apps to figure that out. 

How it all started

Dominique Sucgang, a 23-year-old 1st-year student at FEU, said that she joined Bumble and Tinder as soon as she was of age. She was a frequent user until 2021, deleting them after she got into a relationship.

“I think it was because I was lonely,” she said regarding why she downloaded the apps. “I had just turned 18, and had finally graduated from my junior high school, so I felt like the world was at my disposal to be explored.” 

She also said that while she wanted to use it to find a relationship, a part of the reason for downloading it was to gain experience. 

Jovelle Ann Cantero, a 2nd-year college student at EARIST, said that she joined Bumble and Tinder after they were recommended to her by her ex. She started using the two in 2021, but often deleted them after a day or two, then re-downloading them whenever she’s bored.

And TikToker Gwyneth Stein, a 22-year-old currently working as a BPO Trainer, first downloaded Bumble in 2019 because she was single and wanted to talk to people. Before meeting her current partner, she would use the app every day.

Stein also recounted that it was through Bumble that she met her ex-girlfriend, whom she was with for three years. It’s also where she met her current girlfriend, who she’s been dating for almost a year.

Happy moments

Sucgang says that one of her best experiences on a dating app was when she found a friend in one of her old hook-ups. 

“Usually with other people, it would be transactional, but at the time, with them, it truly felt like we had a connection,” she explained.

For Cantero, her best experience there was meeting someone she was able to create a special bond with.

“I like it when I meet people; I get to know them and learn new things,” she said.

Meanwhile, Stein’s favorite memory would be her first time meeting her current girlfriend. 

It led to an “overnight date,” she said with a laugh, without disclosing any more details.

Dating horror stories

It’s not always good vibes and happy moments on these apps, though.

For Stein, her pet peeve on Bumble is when people immediately bring up her TikTok account.

“Usually it’s okay, but then they’d always get to a point where they’d always want to talk about my ex,” she said. 

“That’s when I start to get uncomfy and ghost the conversation.” 

For Cantero, the problem with Bumble can be summed up in five words: people can be pretty shitty.  

“[People] use you for convenience, or just disrespect you straight away,” she said.

She recalled her worst dating app experience so far: “They said we were going on a date, but really, he brought me to Frontrow.”

Frontrow is a multi-level marketing scheme where people would be asked to sell products and recruit others to do the same.

This is what frustrates the people we talked with about dating apps: the lying. 

Stein also had a similar experience, wherein she matched with someone she thought was single, only to find out they were in a committed, monogamous relationship the entire time!

“I dropped it entirely and blocked them,” she said as she looked back on the experience. 

Sucgang’s worst experience, on the other hand, was with someone she met on Tinder. 

“It was my first time and he knew that, but he was being so rough with me, even after I told him to be gentle,” she said. 

It was memorable in a bad way.

“Afterwards, he apologized and said it was because he was ‘sabik’ or too into it, and he didn’t know how to do it with a virgin. I was in physical pain and had to get a medical consult days after because the bleeding didn’t stop,” she said.  

Sometimes (okay, maybe not just sometimes,) saying “men are trash” is okay. 

Use with caution

Sucgang recommends Bumble for those who are looking to have fun. 

“If you’re into networking or being around people with the same interest as you, then I can fully suggest that dating apps are the way to go. If you’re also looking for non-committal hook-ups, it’s also a great avenue for those set-ups,” she said.

She does not, however, suggest that you download it if you get easily attached to people. 

“While there are people that have formed deep relationships from dating apps, most of the time it’s very transactional, and ghosting is very common. I think dating apps can affect one’s mental health [too] when you swipe right or left on someone,” she said. 

Swiping right or left provides an avenue for people to be judgmental or critical of others before they even get to meet them, she explained. 

She also took note of the fact that dating apps could still be a dangerous place, especially for women, and even on places like Bumble where women are the ones who must initiate the conversation. 

“You don’t fully know the person you’re with, especially if you’re meeting for the first time,” she said.

This is why Sucgang heavily recommends being careful when using dating apps, and for you to always inform at least one friend of what’s happening and who you’re talking to, especially if you plan on meeting up in person. 

Stein shared similar advice. 

“Take extra precautions, because they’re still strangers,” she suggested. 

She also reassures app users that it’s absolutely valid to have trust issues or to feel the need to be extra careful, during your first date. Remember that your safety always comes first.

Cantero, on the other hand, suggests that people lower their expectations, and get to know the person offline rather than just online.