JOMO: Were not “KJ”, we just don’t like parties anymore

THERE’S something magical about low-pressure plans. A lazy Sunday brunch where everyone shows up in their comfiest clothes. A spontaneous museum visit with no strict itinerary. A nature trip that’s more about healing. Night walks where it’s only your circle of friends’ shadows and deep thoughts. These soft hangouts are less about spectacle and more about presence.

They allow for real conversations, the kind where no one’s shouting over a DJ set. It’s in these slower moments that friendships deepen, not just flash by.

“Gusto ko ‘yung parang chill lang. Walang ibang tao tapos magba-bonding lang kami tulad ng night walk habang nag-uusap,” shares Elijah Zamora, 23. “Para kasi sa ’kin, malaking bagay na ‘yung maglaan kayo ng oras para sa isa’t isa.”

It’s also about accessibility. Not everyone can afford to go clubbing every weekend – not just in terms of money, but also in terms of energy, time, or even social battery. Some of us are saving cash, some of us are saving peace. Soft hangouts offer a gentler pace: more budget-friendly, more intentional, peaceful, and way more sustainable. They make space for introverts, for people with anxiety, or for anyone who just wants to show up without needing to perform.

Welcome to the introverted side of the young generation’s world!

We’re not KJ – we’re just done performing

Being called KJ (killjoy) used to sting. It still can, especially in a culture where being busy, loud, and seen often equals being social. But Gen Z is slowly reclaiming that narrative.

There’s no shame in saying no to a party anymore. What’s refreshing is that more people now understand that fun looks different for everyone – there’s no single standard. We’re learning to respect each other’s preferences.

“Siguro, they have different perspectives lang on how they define hanging out,” Elijah adds. “In my case kasi, iba yung dating pag kami-kami lang – mas nakakafocus kami sa mga opinion ng isa’t isa.”

And let’s be real: adulthood hits hard. Sometimes even catch-ups feel like a task.

“Honestly, totoo pala kasi yung effect sa’yo ng adulthood,” says Kathlene Galura, 22. “Yung oras ko na wala akong gagawin, mas gugustuhin ko na lang din talagang manahimik. Pati nga pakikipag-catch up, it takes me so much energy kaya I don’t entertain people kung wala akong pahinga.”

Sometimes, the idea of a party sounds nice. Until it’s actually happening.

“Minsan gusto ko magparty pero pag nakaset na, I silently wish na macancel,” she laughs.

For many of us, joy looks like journaling on a quiet night, rewatching our comfort shows, or sharing unfiltered laughs with close friends. We still love community, we just don’t always need chaos to feel it.

Joy, on our terms

JOMO (Joy of Missing Out) isn’t about isolation. It’s about choice. And in a world that constantly tells us to keep up and stay plugged in, choosing slow joy is a form of rebellion. It’s about stepping away from the pressure to conform to one-size-fits-all standards of fun and embracing what truly feels good for you.

The beauty of JOMO is that it doesn’t exclude anyone – it celebrates diverse ways of living joyfully. Whether it’s a quiet night in or a nature trip with friends, we’re finally seeing that there’s no shame in doing what aligns with our peace. The freedom to choose what makes us feel whole, without the judgment or expectation to keep up with the crowd, is a radical act of self-respect.

“Life gets more tiring each day,” shares Herlyn Del Castillo, 21. “So when we connect with the people we care about, it feels more meaningful to create memories that give us the relaxation and peace we truly need.”

Herlyn’s ideal day out? “Hanging out with my friends in nature. There’s a bit of adventure along the way, like long rides. It’s also quieter than most places, and being in nature helps clear my mind.”

Soft but social

We’re not anti-party. We’re pro-alignment. Pro-authenticity. Pro-knowing-what-we-actually-want. And right now, what many of us want is peace.

“Simpleng café brunch and sensible talks,” says Kathlene. “Kung walang ambag sa pahinga ko yung topic mo, ‘wag mo nalang muna akong kausapin,” she laughs.

So the next time someone calls you KJ for skipping a wild night out, remember: you’re not missing out—you’re just opting in to something better.

Because honestly? We’re still socializing. Just differently. On our own terms, at our own pace. So no, we’re not KJ. We’re just choosing connection over noise, peace and presence over pressure. If that looks boring to some, that’s fine – we’re not here to entertain. We’re here to feel alive in ways that actually feel good. And if that means skipping the party for a quiet night with people who really get us? That’s never missing out.