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Ghost era?: Signs that your free trial with your ‘ka-talking stage’ is about to end

by Jericho Zafra

HAVE you ever experienced ghosting or being ghosted by someone you are romantically talking to? It feels debilitating, right?

A September 2022 report by The Society of Personality and Social Psychology said that 39 percent out of 750 people they surveyed had experienced ghosting. Of this number, 32 percent revealed that they ghosted a romantic partner.

While this number does not represent the general population, ghosting remains a disturbing issue as many go unreported.

Together but not together?

Attraction doctor Jeremy Nicholson in his report said ghosters started the ghosting process in three steps:

  1. They first decided which messaging platforms of interaction they would gradually eliminate.
  2. Then they set a timescale, either abruptly ending ties or doing so slowly.
  3. Eventually, as the ghosting escalated, they would choose whether to sever all ties with that person or start communicating again.

Eager to know the signs that you are talking to someone who is about to ghost you? Here are some:


If your “ka-talking stage” only talks to you when it’s convenient to him, you better think twice, ghourl. Dr. Nicholson said that ghosters tend to treat their ghostees easier and take less time to interact “to avoid emotional situations.”

This could also mean ghosters had lost interest and were no longer driven to keep the relationship going, Dr. Nicholson said.


“It’s not you. It’s me.”

Ever heard this line from them? Maybe, they are protecting themselves from being hurt.

“They were concerned for their own safety and wanted to avoid an angry in-person interaction,” Dr. Nicholson said.

According to Dr. Nicholson, it is also possible that there might have been negative interactions between the ghoster and their ghostee that made them decide to cut ties slowly.

But this situation can be prevented if there is open communication between the two parties. 

Ask why

Many factors could cause a person to lessen touch. Some of them could be thst they are busy, having commitment issues, or probably not ready for a relationship at all, according to Dr. Nicholson. Ask them if you find them avoiding or closing off on you. 

Dating application Bumble released an advisory on how to avoid ghosting, including what it feels like to be ghosted. (Ouch)

“Be honest”

Let them know, said Bumble, that you’ve shifted your mind if someone you’ve connected with reaches out and you’re no longer interested. Create a kind message that you can use instead of staying silent.

If you want a sample, Bumble made a draft for you:

“Hey __, it was really nice hanging out with you. You’re great, but I’m not feeling a romantic connection. I don’t think we should go on any more dates. If you want to try being friends, I’d love to be in touch.” 

See? It’s easy to say it that way instead of making them spend most of their nights thinking about what they did wrong.

The bottom line? Whether you like the person or not, it is better to communicate your intentions directly instead of leaving them questioning and hoping for a commitment that will not work out.



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