What is the Ideal Age for Marriage Among Gen Zs?

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“ILANG taon na lang, magte-trenta ka na. Kailan mo balak mag-asawa?”

Whispers of these kinds are beginning to flood the Gen Zs now that they are pushing into the older status with the new introduction of Generation Beta. As though marriage is an Olympic race where people behind the finish line are degraded as losers.

Marriage— your grandmother would say it is the single most defining stage of your life. Facing the person whom you loved the most in front of God would seal the deal towards a perfect family life. If you look at the wedding photos of your grandparents in those vintage photo albums, you will realize the trace of youth in their faces when they took their vows. Most of them are in their early to mid twenties when they start to build their own lives like it was simply the easiest decision made at their age.

Putting it in perspective, the same age of Gen Zs today have been busy dealing with their lives in different aspects and priorities where marriage seemingly evades their current grasp.

For Gen Zs who are generally informed possessing great political awareness, what can they say about the prospect of marriage?

At the age of 22, alias Mae, single; marriage is a topic that crosses her mind.

“Oo naman,” her confident response when asked if she sees herself in the position of marriage in the future.

Marriage for her is not a one-man decision but a combined deliberation of her and his partner’s state of mind to handle an irreversible decision. “Bilang babae, may mga bagay akong isinaalang-alang. First is ‘yong partner. If ready na ba talaga both parties.”

As an individual who positions herself to an obligation towards her family, she wanted that fulfilled beforehand; and with a great financial shape, marriage and what comes after should become the primary priority.

“And ‘yong mga priorities and responsibilities. Kapag nagpakasal ka, priority is ‘yong family na bubuoin na. At the same time madadagdagan at mababawasan ang mga responsibilities. Mas focus na sa family na bubuoin kesa sa family like parents or siblings kase may sarili ng family,” she said.

Equipped with these kinds of concerns, she came up with the realization that marriage should best come in late twenties but not exceeding thirties.

“I think kapag financially stable na. I don’t know exactly, but for me it’s either twenty-eight or twenty-nine. Mas okay ang below thirty na magpakasal,” she added.

While for someone in a relationship, Maria Tesalonica F. Malicsi, 22, admitted that it took her the right person to see herself in marriage.

“Before hindi ko siya nakikita sa sarili ko. But when I met Mr. Jorez,” she referred to the name of his boyfriend. “So yeah. Nakikita ko ‘yung sarili ko na ikasal.”.

As a woman of faith, she involves God in every step of her life, especially something as big as marriage. “Spiritually, important. Kasi dapat laging si Lord ‘yung center ng relationship at ng family na abuoin.”

The financial capability of her partner also came into her concern for the future. “Number two dapat ready talaga financially. Dapat may stable job si guy. Kasi ang babae ay maaaring tumigil sa work or kapag pregnant na siya… So iko-konsider mo siyempre na itong lalaki na ‘to ba ay kayang buhayin ka?”

But for her, the emotional connection to her partner serves as the most crucial basis for marriage because it testifies against the challenges that come within.

“Number one is dapat ready emotionally… Talagang emotionally ang pinaka isinasaalang-alang. Syempre dapat mahal niyo ang isa’t isa. And you’re sure na ano man ang mangyari, ano mang makita mong bad sides ng taong ito, tatanggapin at tatanggapin mo siya hanggang huli. Kaya ba niyang uhm pagtiisan ang ugali mo.” She laughed. “So yun! And also trust. Also respect. Yung kahit gaano na ka super hell yung mga nangyayari, supper worst na, meron pa ring respect with each other.”

While Maria for being a Gen Z, surprisingly, she possessed somewhat traditional ideals to the roles a woman plays in marriage. “So you are ready to commit your life. Lalo na ako bilang babae, dapat you are ready to commit your life to that man. Na dapat ay dito sa lalaking ito ay magpapasakop ka… Kasi ang babae talaga biblically, magpapasakop talaga sa lalaki,” she asserted.

As a woman, she regarded her biological clock to pregnancy as the suitable position in marriage. “Ideal age ko ay twenty-eight. At bakit? Kasi for me pag nasa stage ka na ng thirty, so sa side ko bilang babae, kasi pag mga twenty-nine, thirty na ako nag-asawa, nagpakasal tapos syempre mabubuntis. Maybe baka mabuntis ka ay thirty, manganganak ka ng thirty-one. So medyo mahirap na siya magbuntis pag ganong mga edad,” she noted.

On the other side of the male perspective, Kurt Lansangan, 24, being in a stable relationship had provided him the confidence to welcome the possibility of marriage on the horizon.

“Dati hindi, ngayon oo,” he uttered.

He made a list of things in a relationship that can attest a marriage such as love, understanding, and endurance.

“Kung mahal mo talaga yung tao. Kung kaya ba niyang samahan ka sa literal na hirap at ginhawa. Nauunawaan niyo ba ang isa’t-isa? At sa lahat ng bagay kayo ang magkakampi,” he noted.

While he initially implied that love is sufficient for marriage, he goes into consideration of the financial capacity and level of assurance that a couple feel for one another which suggest marriage is perfect in later years.

“Thirty,” his marriage preference. “Kasi karamihan tayo ay medyo may ipon na nun at medyo decided na tayo kung ano gusto natin for our future.”

Is there an Appropriate Age for Marriage?

It is important to note that marriage is neither a race nor a mandate for people to conform. Marriage is a personal choice that requires absolute deliberation and a repetitive cycle of thought process before undergoing such an important decision. It is also important to consider that the Philippines at the current time does not have the divorce bill to reverse a failed marriage.

Also, there are individual preferences and suitable conditions that define the appropriate age for marriage. Based on the common denominators above, there are at least two notable requirements that fit the marriage criteria: all-enduring love and secured financial position.

All-Enduring Love

It is the kind of love that does not purely contain romance but values contentment, endurance and assurance. To be bonded in marriage is neither a spontaneous decision nor an action done in haste, it requires the right amount of love where a couple feels assured and sees their future together. That they are both willing to avoid temptations, remain committed, accept the flaws in the relationship, and spend the rest of their lives in the comfort and characters of each other in literal life and death.

Marriage is not something that you can spit when it’s too hot to handle; it endures. All-enduring love embraces not just the beauty of a marriage but the undesirable parts that lie beneath. For in marriage, it’s not always about the intensity in making love and the romantic dates but the dull moments that a couple share together, and the conflicts that strengthen their connection and nurture them individually.

Secured Financial Position

It is satisfying to witness how Gen Zs are becoming informed of their choices that they prioritize financial capabilities beforehand. As harsh and practical as it sounds but love alone is insufficient in marriage. Marriage demands both souls and finances. In a society with nonstop inflation and expensive lifestyles, it could be difficult to hear the “I Love Yous” when it’s being swallowed by the growls of the stomachs. It is easier to love someone when you are in a comfortable place and capable of providing.

Deciding to get married means that you accept the responsibilities that come afterwards not only with yourselves but especially when the marriage yields that greatest gift in the form of a child. Are you confident enough that you can provide a comfortable home to your children, a proper education, and spoil them with their whims? This when marriage transformed not just a union of two people in love but a responsibility of a lifetime.

As cliche as it sounds but marriage comes in the proper place and timing. Some may encounter it at the early stage while there are those who are yet to discover it later in their lives. And in this modern age, there is nothing unnatural about that.