Five things that only the bunso will understand

YOU already know the story of the eldest child being the breadwinner of the family, the middle child is jokingly forgotten. But how about the youngest child? It is indeed true that there are certain aspects of life that the only youngest child or bunso will understand. 

When you’re the youngest child, there are times when you become the subject of ridicule. You are bullied and teased by your older siblings and are always the victim of their pranks. Here are things that every youngest child will understand. 

1. Always getting the hand-me-downs

Reusing old clothes can be beneficial when you want to save money, and can be a good practice when specific clothes have sentimental value. Hand-me-downs are a great way to live a sustainable lifestyle. 

However, the youngest child often yearns to have new clothes and things, too.

2. Teachers comparing you to your older siblings

You might experience entering school and finding out that your teacher is also the one who taught your oldest sibling the previous academic year. Teachers will occasionally make comparisons between your academic performance and the accomplishments of your older siblings. 

3. Keeping up with your older siblings

The youngest are often pressured because of their older siblings. Other parents may intentionally or unintentionally compare their children when it comes to their accomplishments or characteristics that they ought to follow. 

4. The culture of “utang na loob”

Youngest siblings are often labeled as “disrespectful” whenever they talk back to their older siblings, especially in Filipino households where the oldest siblings should be respected because they provided or helped you with something. 

5. Being left behind at home

When older siblings move out, younger siblings are always left behind. You might feel a mix of emotions, such as being happy because you no longer have a rival in your family, knowing that no one will take your clothes or disturb your personal space. 

However, you will feel lonely because you have no one to talk to, and yourself longing for your siblings’ presence.  

From personal experience

republicasia asked the youngest child in the family about what they have experienced in their household being treated as the “bunso” in the family and how they deal with those things.

“Being the youngest in our family often means that I have to follow the lead of the older members, as I have less authority,” Cedrix Leppago, the youngest child in their family said.

“I frequently find myself agreeing with them, following their decisions, and obeying their instructions, since younger siblings are generally expected to listen to their older counterparts. I have no choice but to just follow whatever they say because if I don’t, they will label me as “pasaway.” If sumagot naman ako sa kanila, ako pa ang magiging masama sa paningin nila. Most people think na kapag bunso ka, privileged at spoiled ka, but not all bunso are like that.” 

Another youngest child in their family, Jasmin Britan said: “Being the youngest in the family often means being seen as the “spoiled” one or the favorite child.”

“However, there are also responsibilities associated with being the youngest. Ikaw yung taga hugas ng pinggan, ikaw ang uutusan tuwing may ipapabili sila sa labas, and there’s a lot of teasing because I’m the youngest and tend to cry easily. I feel the responsibility to succeed,” she added.

“I worry about how I can achieve this and how I will ever repay them for their support. As for the pressure, it is difficult, but I strive to do my best to build a successful future and make a meaningful contribution to my family.”

“Ang palagi kong nararanasan sa pagiging bunso ay naiiwan lagi; bilang isang bunso sa magulong pamilya, nawala na ang atensyon ng aking mga magulang o mga kapatid dahil sa buhay noon na puro problema at hanggang sa dumating yung punto na di nila namamalayan, may isang bata na ang palaging nag-iisa at nangangailangan ng kalinga ng isang pamilya,” Ace Marimla said to republicasia.

“Para hindi ako makaramdam ng kahit anong negatibong pakiramdam, gumagawa ako ng mga bagay na makakapagpasaya at libang sa akin. Noon, dinadaan ko nalang sa laro para malibang at hindi makaramdam ng lungkot o takot. Ngayon, dinadaan ko sa mga gawain na may kaugnayan sa kakayahan ko katulad ng pagbibidyo at page-edit.”

republicasia asked a psychologist, Mr. Eduard Kyle G. Gocotano LPT, RGC about how the birth order can shape a person’s personality. 

He said, “I’ll probably say it’s a factor but not the direct cause of the personality of a person. This belief roots back to the theory of Alfred Adler-Individual Psychology, specifically family constellation or birth order.”

He states that each birth order has a generalized personality. For example, the youngest aims unrealistically. Because the youngest wants to achieve the achievements of his or her siblings. In the same way, the youngest is also the most pampered. 

On the other hand, the middle child is neglected by the parents because the youngest and the oldest are like the stars of the parents. this could affect the personality of the middle child. Then, the firstborn has a sense of superiority among the siblings and aims a lot of things in life. 

Lastly, the only child, the pampered kid, is the one who socializes a lot.

Birth order dynamics can influence your personality and behavior. It is important to keep in mind that every child is unique based on their environment, experiences, and family dynamics. It is also important to note that the Filipino family hierarchy culture shapes how the family functions as one.  At the end of the day, every family isn’t perfect, but what truly defines a family is their ability to love unconditionally. 

With reports from Abegail Tongson