Filipino beliefs Gen Zs say we should drop

FILIPINOS have many specific beliefs and traditions that they hold onto, even though many do not know why they have to continue to follow them, particularly in the modern day. 

20-year-old Andrea Tovillo, for example, grew up in a province in Cebu, wherein they followed beliefs such as “pagpag,” wherein people had to visit somewhere else before going home any time they’d go to a wake, to prevent the spirit of the deceased from following them. 

Kathleen Eslao, 20, has always followed the tradition of “pagmamano,” which is done as a means of showing respect to one’s elders. 

She also, however, followed traditions that she didn’t exactly understand. One of them was the belief that cutting your nails at night was bad and that sweeping at night brought you bad luck.

Tovillo and 20-year-old Art Penullar also grew up following the tradition of “usog.” With Penullar, it would be tradition to boil the shirt of a person if ever they fell ill, as people believed that doing so would get rid of the person’s illness.

These, however, are rather harmless. Some beliefs Filipinos follow at present can negatively affect the lives of others: bringing others down through crab mentality, silencing the younger generation by telling them not to talk back, and so on. 

Given that it’s now 2024, more and more Gen Zs are starting to stray away from certain beliefs they view to be “archaic.”

As a result of this, one can’t help but wonder: What beliefs and traditions do Gen Zs think Filipinos should let go of entirely?

1. Making the older child parent their siblings.

Tovillo explains that, in many Filipino households, the older sibling is often expected by their parents to take care of their younger siblings, so much so that it takes a toll on the former physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

This act is often referred to as “parentification,” wherein the child is expected to fulfill responsibilities typically meant to be handled by an adult.

Tovillo notes that this is a common practice amongst Asian families, with parents often passing all responsibilities to their older children. This creates a great feeling of pressure for older children, which they often bring with them even as they grow older. 

They often feel the need to be more mature than they actually are, as well as take on more responsibility than they are capable of. This may negatively affect their psyche moving forward, with many who dealt with parentification growing up having anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, and the like, according to the parenting website Parents.

2. The crab mentality.

Writer Kevyn Gohu of Modern Parenting defines the idea of “crab mentality” as being envious, selfish, and/or unsupportive of another’s success. They liken this of being similar to the saying, “If I can’t have it, neither can you.”

Often, you hear adults telling their kids they need to do difficult things even when they don’t have to.

“Dati ginagawa namin yan, dapat maranasan niyo din.”

One can’t help but wonder, however, why you would want your kids to suffer, especially when you yourself know how hard you had it back then. Instead of being happy for people when they are successful, or that generations now have it easier, all others want to do is pull them down.

“Crab mentality is more destructive than we think and influences us more than we realize,” writes Gohu. 

“Success, especially one we achieved by doing something simple or just by deciding something[,] may make one feel “stupid” or face the question of, “I could have done that, too! Why didn’t I?””

This can be seen in several different aspects of Filipino life, such as in the popularity of “smart shaming,” wherein people make fun of their classmates who recite often or help teachers a lot. Instead of praising them, they are referred to as “pabibo” or “teacher’s pet.”

It’s normal to feel jealousy every once in a while, but you also need to remember that you need to learn how to control your actions, especially if you know that they can hurt others. 

3. Not being allowed to talk back.

Growing up, you’ve probably heard your parents say “Aba, sumasagot ka na ah!” any time you tried to defend yourself against them. 

Filipinos have always been big on respecting their elders, even when at times, this means letting them do and say whatever they want even when it hurts them.

“The belief that you shouldn’t talk back to older people even when they’re wrong is something I disagree with,” said Penullar.

“I believe that younger people should have the right to defend themselves, especially when their rights and dignity are being violated.”

He adds that, for him, respect should be mutually given regardless of age. 

“While it’s important to show respect to our elders, it’s equally important to allow us younger people the opportunity to express [ourselves]; I personally believe that we should encourage a culture where everyone can speak up and defend themselves when necessary,” he stated.

4. Not batting an eye toward “Filipino time.”

For years, no one has cared about correcting the habit of adhering to “Filipino time,” wherein people often show up minutes or even hours late to a meetup with family or friends. 

The reality of this, though, is that this is a show of disrespect toward the people that you’re hanging out with. They have to wait for you, and then adjust the plans you had together to accommodate your being late. 

While this is something that can sometimes be unavoidable given how bad traffic can get in this country, it’s important to still be considerate of the time of other people, especially those who you know have a knack for arriving at places on time. 

5. Utang na loob.

Eslao explains that, with the concept of “utang na loob,” a person’s child is obligated to repay them as soon as they start working. This is particularly harmful to the child because they no longer feel as if they can enjoy or even spend their money on themselves.

Instead, all of it has to go to their family, lest they be labeled a bad son or daughter.

This can be seen in the situation between Carlos Yulo and his mother wherein, despite Yulo’s mother being accused of taking money from Yulo without his knowledge, people still sided with his mother because they argued that this was his “obligation” to her as a son.

“Children should not be seen as a retirement plan,” she added.

“It’s not wrong to give back to parents, but it’s unfair to make it [your child’s] obligation.