DRPH’s Myx Chanel discusses struggles of living with HIV:  “It’s the stigma that was the hard part”

AT PRESENT, HIV is an issue worldwide, with the Philippines barely taking a glance at it.

According to Health Secretary Teodoro Herbosa, there are about 59, 000 people living with HIV in the Philippines. Each day, 55 new cases are discovered. 

More than this, however, there also lies a stigma in the way that people view those with HIV; as per Myx Chanel of “RuPaul’s Drag Race Philippines Season 3”, HIV-positive people are often seen as “dirty” or “impure.”

The reality, though, is that HIV is a disease just like any other, and it should be treated with the same urgency as any other disease.

In an episode of Drag Race, Myx Chanel opened up to the judges and their fellow queens about how they were diagnosed as HIV-positive, and then thanks to continuous treatment, became undetectable within just six months. 

In an interview with republicasia, Myx discussed the struggles they faced living with HIV and dealing with the stigma surrounding it and also opened up about their hopes for the future for how the Philippines views HIV and HIV-positive people.

Unlearning the stigma

Myx, who is known outside of Drag Race as the drag daughter of Eva Le Queen as well as the co-host and co-founder of the “Bekenemen” podcast and viewing parties, and has long been working with the organization “Love Yourself” to raise awareness for HIV, encouraging people to get tested regularly.

READ: “DRPH’s Myx Chanel on coming out as HIV-positive: “It’s not the death sentence it was years ago” 

So when they were diagnosed as HIV-positive back in February of 2021, they immediately started to ask what needed to be done, as well as what medicine they had to take to get better. 

Before getting educated, though, Myx’s idea of HIV was similar to that of many others, given the reputation that the disease got during its epidemic in the 80s. 

“There’s definitely stigma around it, but more so because there’s stigma around a lot of STDs and STIs [in] the Philippines,” they said. 

Thankfully, through their time with Love Yourself, Myx has learned that so many people who have HIV are living their lives and thriving. Through the organization, they were able to meet people with the virus, realizing that the virus doesn’t necessarily have to change your life.

They added that this was why they were so motivated to share their journey with others on Drag Race: because many still do not see people living with HIV and continuing to live their lives to the fullest despite it. More than this, Myx wanted people living with HIV to feel inspired by someone like them.

“These people need to see someone that’s continuing their life and not letting their diagnosis stop them,” they explained.

Worries of ruining relationships

While they were able to come to terms with their diagnosis rather quickly, what Myx did struggle with was having to tell others about having HIV, as well as dealing with the stigma that already surrounded it.

They shared that their mother and sister only found out about their status a month before the episode aired, and then the rest of their siblings found out through the show.

When they told their sister about it, she was extremely worried for their health given the image people associate with people with HIV is of being bedridden or being hooked up to IVs.

“But that’s not what it is anymore,” Myx reminded. 

“There were a few times where people’s response to me was an unnecessary amount of worrying. Gets ko kung saan sila nanggagaling, but at the same time, it’s like, “No, I’m good, calm down.””

It was also particularly a struggle to share their status with anyone they were romantically involved with. Myx noted that while sharing your status with others, even your sexual partners, is legally encouraged, it is not a legal requirement for people with HIV, particularly if your status is undetectable. Regardless, they still made sure to share their status with those who they felt needed to know it.

They shared that they would have to disclose their status to their partner early on, and Myx started using this as a litmus test of whether or not the person was for them depending on how they reacted.

Myx even recounted a time wherein they’d told someone they were dating and while that person didn’t react negatively, they were rather apprehensive about it.

Myx explained: “He was definitely scared, and I can’t blame him. It’s more the education system to blame, but natakot siya for himself kasi he was in contact with me.”

Even with their friends, Myx sometimes worried that sharing it would change their relationship. 

“It’s not a normal conversation to talk to your friend down the street na “Oh, by the way, may HIV ako”; wala pa tayo sa ganung level of acceptance,” they said.

“It’s still a conversation [where] you have to sit down with someone, emotionally deal with what their reaction could be, [and] help them process if nahi[hi]rapan sila.

It was a particularly lengthy process because, instead of simply being able to say it casually within a conversation, they would instead have to prepare themselves for the reaction of the other person. 

If they would react negatively or start to get worried, Myx would then have to take the role of being an educator for HIV.

“Hindi nalang ako person living with HIV, now I have to be an educator for this person I want to open up to, [and] I think that for me was the biggest burden,” they said.

“Since it’s part of my life now and I want to share that with people that are important to me, it’s a chore. It becomes a chore to open it up when it’s just like, “I want to tell you about something in my life.”” 

There was also the worry that telling their friend might then affect their friendship, which was unfair given that it was a diagnosis that was out of their control. 

“It’s not necessarily about me as a person, it’s not necessarily about what I did; because of the stigma, there’s still that fear of damaging relationships just because you want to disclose your status,” they said.

Still seen as “the gay virus”

Even though it is a disease like any other, many still view HIV as “the gay virus.” This is even though, as Myx points out, quite literally anyone can get it, not just members of the LGBTQ+ community, and added to this is the fact that it isn’t just transmitted through having sex as others may believe.

They added: “Let’s not get caught up in the idea of how someone got it. Literally children can be born with it if they have an HIV-positive mother. Ibig sabihin ba no’n, madumi yung infant?”

They emphasized how it was important to not focus on how a person contracted the virus, because, after all, even people having sex for the first time can get it. More than this, people also shouldn’t be caught up in how someone “looks,” as it isn’t exactly a compliment to tell an HIV-positive person that they “don’t look like they have it.”

“May mga tao ngang nagsasabi, “I never knew kasi hindi mukha sa’yo,”; that just means to me na mayroong ine-expect na itsura yung mga tao sa people living with HIV,” they said.

“There’s [an] overall image talaga of being “dirty,” of being “unclean” with it. And that’s what I wanted to change.”

In the Philippines, there’s still a negative view on HIV, or any STDs and STIs in general, given their relation to sex. People who have it are viewed to be immoral or unclean or are told that they deserve it since they had sex. 

Even in the modern day, it is viewed as a form of penance for one’s “sins.”

Myx explained: “For the longest time, and probably even ‘til now subconsciously, some people still think about it as  “Parusa ‘yan ng Diyos sa mga bakla.””

They added that this was probably why, despite the current epidemic of people with HIV in the Philippines, and with cases increasing by the day, little action has been taken by the government to combat it. 

It doesn’t help that the portrayal of the disease in the media is often of people suffering in hospital beds, or on their deathbeds, hence why they hope to see more success stories of HIV-positive people in the media. 

“Can we not have portrayals of people living their lives to the fullest, and it just so happens that they have [HIV]?” They asked.

“There [are] very few conversations like that.”

Myx also felt that if HIV was a disease that wasn’t associated with the queer community – if it wasn’t seen as “the gay virus” – it probably would’ve been treated with the same urgency as COVID. 

“I hope we get to a time where it’s treated that way; diabetic people can come out with having diabetes any time they want, [and] it’s not life-shattering,” they said. 

“I hope we get to the point na we would with any other disease that affects the immune system, but I hope mawala na yung stigma about it kasi there’s not just one way to get it.”

In the future, Myx hopes that HIV will be treated just like any other disease and, similarly, will be treated with the same level of urgency, concern, and seriousness, as any other disease. 

They stated: “At the end of the day, it’s nobody’s business how we got it. If a person gets diagnosed with cancer, do you ask them how they got the cancer?”

Hopefully, the Philippines – and the rest of the world, as well – will one day reach a point wherein a disease like HIV is treated the same as, say, COVID-19, on a medical, public health crisis, and government response level. 

As Myx points out, HIV has long been around, way before COVID. Yet COVID has come and gone and HIV is still here. 

One can’t help but wonder why.

For the HIV-positive community

To those who have just found out that they have HIV, or to those who have long been living with it, Myx understands that getting diagnosed can feel life-changing or earth-shattering.

However, they also send out a reminder that there is power in knowing, and given that the internet is so easily accessible now, information truly is your best friend. 

“Don’t let knowing your status take the power away from you; you hold the power because at least now you know, and you know you need to do something about it,” they stated.

“Information is a click away, [and] a lot of [it] is readily available.”

There are many HIV clinics or HIV testing sites that you can visit such as Love Yourself, Hash, The Red Whistle, and Sail, to figure out what you can do to treat this disease because, again, it is treatable now. As Myx has long been saying, it is no longer the death sentence that it was before. 

They also hoped that their coming out on Drag Race wouldn’t pressure others to come out, as no one owes that kind of information to anyone.

“You don’t owe the world [that] information, but you do owe yourself the rest of your life.”

Myx Chanel, Drag Queen

For Myx, the best way to fight against the virus as well as the stigma is to continue to thrive and to continue to thrive and live a full life. They encourage those living with it not to let it scare them or stop them from living their lives. 

“Mabuhay ka, ‘cause for our predecessors, for people living with HIV, to continue to live is already a big step,” they said.

They explained that just living your life now is a way of carrying the torches of those that came before you who didn’t have the resources that you have now, and now that these advancements are here, now that healthcare is readily available, the ability to continue to live is the biggest “fuck you” to both the virus and to anyone who tells you that you are “less than” because of it. 

Because you are not your virus. It does not define you. It never has, and it never will.