Caring for your pets is an act of self-care

PETS are longtime companions that bring stress and joy to one’s day. They are what pet owners find comfort in, loving them as part of the family. 

But to love others, you have to love yourself–a feat that is difficult for those suffering from mental illness. At their darkest moments, they would often neglect the one thing that is important in loving others: learning how to care for yourself. 

Yet, when that too is difficult to face amidst chaos in their mind, maybe caring for others is the first step to caring for themself. 

Gaining furry companionships

Diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and General Anxiety with possible Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Paula Jane Marquez has found solace within her five furbabies Nala, Snow, Niki, Shadow, and Shiro. 

Suffering for as long as she can remember, Paula expressed that she always had an unexplainable sadness within her. Confusing it as something normal, she went on through the years suffering from her mental illness. 

After the pandemic hit and she started earning her own money, Paula decided to try and welcome pets in her life once more after losing her first furbaby when she was young. 

Her mental health has been much better, she states that her pets calm and center her, especially during breakdowns when they are by her side. 

“Shiro and Shadow sleep in the same room and bed as I do. So when they hear me crying, they nuzzle up to me and [with] just a few licks, I’m already smiling and laughing again with them. Best furry therapist 10/10,” she shares. 

Another furparent, Precious Suarez also experienced a decline in her mental health. Albeit not clinically diagnosed, she endures sleepless nights, mood swings, anxiety, as well as suicidal thoughts. 

The call to care for a pet came to her spontaneously, seeing a child mistreating a pup, they decided to take her in and care for the pup herself. 

Before having any pets, Precious had no one to talk to and confide in. But after one pet turned to three, she had her furbabies to rely on. 

She states: “Nung dumating sila, lagi na akong may kausap hindi man sila nagsasalita o nakakaintindi katulad ng tao at least, handa silang samahan o makinig sa atin kapag hindi tayo mentally okay.” 

One bark away

Living with five dogs, Paula’s household is lively with these bundles of energy. She shares that her dogs all have varied personalities. 

Nala, an Aspin breed, the eldest of the bunch, is protective and stubborn but he is also sweet and loving to their father. Although he doesn’t like to be hugged, Nala loves shaking hands.  

Snow is another Aspin that is super playful and energetic, described as dramatic but also a good boy. He barks back when scolded but is still very sweet. 

There are also Niki and Shadow that Paula refers to as twins. Both American Bullies, Niki is a playful and well-mannered dog that likes to keep to himself and play alone but when it’s time to go back to his crate he’ll make you chase him around. 

While Shadow on the other hand, albeit clingy, still prefers to only play with her son Shiro. 

The youngest Shiro is also an American Bully who is very playful and big for his age that he himself does not recognize when welcoming visitors. Paula shares that he can be a little too friendly that he goes with strangers without protest. 

Growing up, Paula is not the type to be physically intimate but she cannot sleep peacefully without hugging and kissing her dogs. “It’s a must,” she dotes. 

Contrary to Paula’s pack of five, Precious currently resides with two dogs, formerly three due to the untimely passing of Amber. 

Precious describes Amber as her first dog and the sweetest of the three. Whenever it’s time to sleep, she’ll be there by your side but be gone by the morning as she likes to hide behind the closet. 

While the second eldest, Bella, is a dog that loves to be babied and carried. Precious notes that whenever it’s time to eat, when asked if hungry, Bella answers with two barks as if saying “yes”. 

Cleah, albeit the youngest and smallest of them, is the most assertive but has a hoarse bark that makes visitors laugh.

Precious goes on to share that she enjoys baby-talking them. Her favorite part of going home is to her three babies greeting her with wagging tails. 

“Sasalubong sila sa pinto kahit wala kang pasalubong. ‘Yung pagwagayway ng buntot nila kasi dumating na ako nawawala yung pagod ko, kapag sila yung kasama ko,” she states. 

10/10 furry therapists

For these fur-parents, there will be days when their mental health is not the best. It hinders their capability to take care of themselves which leads to negative habits. 

Paula’s depression makes her want to stay in bed all day but her anxiety will prevent her from getting a wink of sleep. 

She adds: “I barely take care of myself because of my depression, but I’m so anxious and paranoid not to do them because it’s expected of me not to make my family worry.” 

But ever since her pets became her world, she found an outlet to survive, “By taking care of my pets it serves as my reason to live, and at the same time I love taking care of them. I used to think that I would only live as long as my dogs [were] alive. So in a way taking care of them, I have passively taken care of myself too.” 

Even just being there and acting cute aids in supporting her on bad days. 

Precious expresses that on days when her mental health is at its lowest, she loses the energy to eat, so she doesn’t. 

“Kahit na kumakalam na yung sikmura ko hindi ako kakain,” she explained. 

But she laments that ever since she started taking care of her pets, her mental health has been better. 

These fur companions have been her rock at times where she needs to cry, “Sila lang yung mayroon ako sa tuwing wala akong malapitan, sa kanila ako umiiyak, sa kanila ko nilalabas yung mga nararamdaman ko.” 

Her dogs would race each other to comfort her to the point of laying down on top of her, “Sa simpleng pagpapansin  nila sa akin, naagaw yung attention na imbis na malungkot ako naitatawa ko na lang ito dahil sakanila.”

To care for others is to care for yourself

Taking care of pets is more than just feeding and ensuring that they live in a safe and comfortable environment. It also entails giving a part of yourself. 

Paula refers to it as something similar to how you can’t pour from an empty cup, “They need me, and when my depression tells me otherwise then I still have them to remind me that I do in fact matter and me staying and fighting for another day does matter. If it wasn’t for them, I would not be here.” 

Precious notes that taking care of your pets can be a form of self-care, especially since it can result in benefits for you emotionally. It also provides her a sense of responsibility to get home safely as she knows her furbabies are waiting for her. 

Pets can teach you more about life, she goes on by stating that by caring for them she learns how to be independent and have an idea of her responsibilities being a young adult. 

Loving yourself properly takes time as it involves understanding your needs and being mentally capable of caring for your well-being. 

But the first steps you take, as small as they can be, can make a great difference for your mental health. 

Paula and Precious are testaments that caring for their pets is an act of self-care. 

With reports from Catherine Jules C. Juvida