Rainbow February: Is the Supposed Month of Love Dimmed to Single LGBTQIA+?

Photo courtesy: Pexels

HEARTS are flying in the air, chocolates are beginning to taste sweeter than they were last month, flowers are blossoming as their leaves fall poetically, stuffed toys are now being pulled out from the dusty shelves of every stores to the hands of another; no doubt about it, the season of love has reached the romantics.

But for some, the month of February was nothing more than just plain numbers on the calendar hung on the wall which due to the Earth’s orbital issues reduced to days, even cut shorter when one refuses to count the 14th day. In the local slang, many branded them as “bitters”, for their disdain towards anything related to the glittery concept of love. But who can blame their peevish attitudes over the sentimental day of Valentine’s? Because on the other side of the bench lies the single seat of individuals who are considered romantically impoverished.

How can one feel love when there is none to begin with? Like the people specifically in the LGBTQIA+ community who are still running precariously, evading judgements and criticisms that follow their identities. Where a man kissing another man raises disgust to the eyes of the self-righteous. Where a woman being intimate to another woman causes a total meltdown more than witnessing crime. Ironically, empathy and human decency is a choice that not every human could afford. Romance has never been simple, particularly if your deepest desires conflict with the society’s standard of convention. Finding authentic love as an LGBTQIA+ is like finding a needle in a haystack where an exhaustive search is needed before realizing that the needle was not in the haystack but is lost in the acre of land outside the barn.

So when the supposed month of love was met by judgement, an empty seat on a date, and a withered flower, is the celebration of love still practical?

Celebration or Isolation?

Single LGBTQIA+ have sensed the cold breeze of love now that February has arrived.

Joseph, 21, has laid out his priorities straight, burdened with no issues celebrating Valentine’s Day as a ceremony of friendship rather than the ideal romantic.

“I feel okay. For me, as a single person and a part of the LGBTQIA+ community, I always train myself to love myself and be with myself as always, because for me, at the end of the day, all I have is myself. Besides, I have my friend who I know I can spend Valentine’s day with,” he expressed.

As per Khensly, 20, who has an honest stance on the issue, faced with inescapable envy but managed to discover acceptance within him.

“Naiinggit ako sa kanila na may mga kasama this month of love po. At the same time po, honestly, I am content with what I have today. Hindi rin po ako naga expect ng someone,” he said.

For Limwel, 21, it is about the art of getting used to a habit that diminishes the pressure of the celebration.

“Nothing’s new. NJSB kasi ako so ‘yung mga ganitong celebration ay parang wala lang sa akin. I mean, contended na ako sa single life ko… Sa ngayon.” He laughed.

While Valentine’s Day is prominent to couples and lovers, there is no general law restraining people from dedicating the season to a love that is non-romantic and nonsexual. When there are no fresh flowers or mushy letters or overly sweet chocolates to receive, you can always buy and savor them yourselves. Self-love is an expression of love. It is when society pushes you into the cliff that you should learn to catch yourself. It requires a great amount of awareness and self-value to find satisfaction and contentment in a condition that strays away from the customary.

Also, we cannot discredit the unconditional love from family members, bond with your friends, the cheesy pun of your classmates, the neighbours who let you borrow their things, and the non-verbal affection from your pets. These are different forms of love that we often overlook but could provide a sense of comfort, appreciation and acceptance. For some, it can even surpass that of romantic love. Because the relationship and companionship that they have connected to these people has a fragment of love that makes the season of romance worth celebrating.

Weighing Generational Perspectives

But what do non-queer individuals say about LGBTQIA+ relationships?

For a Gen Z like Bianca, 21, LGBTQIA+ couples should not be seen as a deviant of traditional couples.

“LGBTQIA+ couples and also lahat sila, their community, should be seen as normal. Kase lahat tayo ay tao,” she chuckled. “Pero seriously, we all have feelings and we all have a heart, so normal na ma inlove. And ang love hindi sya pinipilit , kusa ‘yun, kahit sino at kanino ka man tamaan. Tsaka dapat mawala na yung term o yung idea na “mag out ka na gano’n” sa community nila or sating lahat. Kase dapat it should be seen as normal. Because that’s normal. Love is love,” she said.

While for a much older person like Joanne (34), surprisingly, her views about LGBTQIA+ relationships have nothing but absolute admiration and respect for the beauty of its own.

“LGBTQIA+ relationships, in my opinion, are about love, connection, and respect for one another, just like any other kind of relationship. I truly respect how different and special these relationships, like all others, can be,” she said.

Now that inclusivity has reached the shore of the current time, the LGBTQIA+ community in general has been receiving acceptance and respect in comparison to past situations. This is also present on various platforms supporting LGBTQIA+ causes. But it doesn’t mean that their conditions have changed entirely. While a lot of people from different ages have embraced diversity as part of the evolving world, the subtle mockeries, stereotypes and contradictions still couldn’t be denied.

However, the responses above are a testament that there is a welcoming space for single LGBTQIA+ who are yet to find love and confidence against convention. That there is a hope for the future where love is seen not as a limited product exclusively for boys and girls but free for every human being.

February as the month of love is a mere concept yet personal contentment is a state of mind. As long as you have a holistic self-perception not requiring the validation of flowers, chocolates and stuff toys to complete yourself, you can celebrate the season of love without feeling isolated or lonely regardless of your sexuality. Because love exists even in the simplest form of matter; it’s only the individual perspective that makes it visible in the dimmest of times.