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WHEN did body count start becoming a big deal? A lot of people are talking about body counts because of experimental videos of content creators asking how many body counts the passerby has. It is just a random video that appears in the newsfeed. Due to this, people are becoming aware of it, and it has become a big deal.
Others who still have no idea would joke about it and think that it is the number of people killed. But it’s not. Body count is an individual’s number of the people they had sexual relations with or we could say it is the number of someone’s sexual partner. One person counts as one even if they did it multiple times.
Some people do have double standards when it comes to men’s and women’s body count. When men sleep with a lot of girls, some would say he is lucky. But when women sleep with a lot of men, people will call her many inappropriate names.
In Filipino culture, women are viewed as shy, modest, and conservative, like Maria Clara. Maria Clara depicts the ideal description of being a Filipina.
Bea Larosa, 22, said that women in the past were expected to be submissive and conservative. “Parang they were expected to be faithful to the man they like, so a woman should only make love with one man,” she said.
Keshia Selva, 21, said that women in the past were more reserved and conservative. “They value themselves in a way that they’re preserving themselves. And hindi sila ganon ka-open sa idea na ganito(sexual activities).”
Another culture that Filipinos have is the way of wooing girls also known as ligaw. Men go through hardships to get the blessing from the parents of the woman they love. Virginity is believed to be a sacred gift, preserved only to the man whom the woman would marry.
Dennis Palma, 21, narrated his grandparents’ experience. “Kasi nung panahon ng lola ko, kailangan mo ligawan at pakasalan bago mo makuha ang bandera ng kababaihan.”
Filipino culture may have a factor in how others see women who have high body counts differently. It is very different from how women behave in the present. Women who have high body counts are the exact opposite of the described Filipino woman as Maria Clara.
Although Maria Clara is still used as the perfect Filipina model, not all Filipinas are like this, especially in the present. For 22-year-old Lance Guevara, women in the past are different from women today. “Compared to women in the past, women today are definitely easier,” he said.
But Bea and Keshia described women in the present as liberated.
Bea said that as society progresses, people become more curious. “Women are no longer expected to just wait for a man to find them. Women today have stronger personalities and their way to find the right guy is to explore a lot.”
Keshia stated that women today are more open to sexual activities. “Kasi ngayon mayroon nang women empowerment and marami ang naga promote ng gender equalities. Dapat kung ano yung ginagawa ng mga lalaki, dapat okay lang din kung gawin ‘yon ng mga babae.”
When it comes to body count, people’s perceptions differ from one another. Some may prefer someone who still has no experience or someone who has a low body count. Some were okay with their partners having high body counts but others were not.
Keshia prefers someone who still has no experience so that they can explore new things together. “Ayaw ko nung idea na parang lahat na lang dinaanan nya. And, syempre I’m preserving myself so diba deserve ko din naman yung ganon.”
For Dennis, body count is not a basis in loving someone. “Para saan ba yung true love or pure love diba. Kahit ano pa yung babae, kung mahal mo ay mahal mo. Hindi ka bumabase sa panlabas na anyo o karanasan”
Dennis said that body count doesn’t matter as long as he loves the girl. “Para kasi sakin kahit madami man o konti ang body counts, kung gusto ko naman yung babae, bakit hindi ko ita-try. Hindi mo naman iba-base ang gusto mo sa pagbibilang ng body counts. Kung matured ka mag-isip, parang experience lang yan sa buhay. Tsaka, ‘di naman nila ginusto yan e. Huwag mong pangunahan kung ‘di mo alam ang pinagdaanan niya sa buhay.”
While Dennis said it does not matter, Others responded that it matters. Bea and Keshia have the same sentiment about women having a high body count. For them, it is not a good thing for their fellow women to have a high body count.
Bea believes in soul ties which means that if a person makes love with someone, he or she is going to have a hard time detaching with them. For her, it is not necessarily wrong, but she doesn’t think that it is good for them either.
“I believe it’s a very intimate activity between two people, so when you do it, you’re basically connecting to that person with all your mind and body. If people have a lot of body counts, they have less sense of self kasi every piece of them is owned na by different people they made love or hook up with.“
Keshia sees virginity as a gift from God that is preserved only for the right person. She added that sex is an activity that should be done only with one’s spouse. She also said that preserving comes with self-respect.
“One has to be reminded that sex is not just a physical thing, it is more than that. It is something na very precious na everything about you, every aspect of you is involved. If someone has self-respect, they wouldn’t be going around to satisfy their burning desire. And in reality that pleasure is just temporary, but the marks left by different people will be permanent. It will stay and leave a stain that can haunt you forever.”
Keshia pointed out that this is one of the reasons why the number of HIV patients and unplanned pregnancy or teenage pregnancies are increasing.
Likewise, John is not in favor of women having many body counts for the same reason. “Maaring magdulot ng STD/HSV ang pakikipagtalik sa iba’t-ibang tao, at hindi ito ligtas para sa’yo at sa iyong future family.”
For Lance, it does not matter but he had a condition. “I would date someone regardless of her body count. If we click then I would try it out with them but with the stipulations that if they do have a high body count, she should get tested for STDs. Safe sex or no.”
Most of them don’t see a difference in men and women having high body counts.
“Parang kung mas marami yong body counts ng babae, it doesn’t make them less of a human. Same with men, it doesn’t make them more of a human or hindi sila cool kung mas marami silang sexual partner,” Keshia said.
“If someone has a high body count, I’d probably perceive them as sexual or liberated regardless if they’re a man or a woman,” Bea stated.
“Wala itong pinagkaiba sa lalaki na maraming body count, hindi nakakataas o nakakadagdag sa pagkalalaki ang pagkakaroon ng maraming body count,” John responded.
For Lance, it is not different at all. “I’d require a man with a high body count to get tested for STDs as well.”
Men having lots of sexual partners are also prone to diseases. It’s just that it is more dangerous for women because they get pregnant. And different diseases that were mentioned earlier can be passed to the baby. Women do not ruin their lives alone, they might ruin the life of the baby as well.
Being liberated is not a bad thing as long as someone knows his or her limitations.
John mentioned that some women today lack of sex education. “Karamihan sa kababaihan ngayon, liberated na. Akala nila kasi may isip na sila at may karapatan sila sa katawan nila e pwede na nila gawin ang lahat. Mahalaga na bata pa lamang ay matalakay na talaga ito sa kanila upang maliwanag para sa kanila at hindi maging mapusok”
But this does not apply to women alone, sex education should apply to both men and women at a young age.
Dennis said that sex education should be taught at a young age. “Kung naituro ito ng maaga, maunawaan nila kung paano ito gawin at makakabuti para sa kanila. Dito na papasok ang mga family planning at iba pa dahil madaming bata ang ‘di mulat dito kaya madaming nabubuntis nang maaga.”
Body count matters when talking about the sense of self or self-respect of a woman to themselves. Giving in to others’ desires is not the only way to prove your worth. It’s important to think deeply especially if you are still new to the experience.
Body count also matters more importantly when it comes to health. It matters not just for women, but also for men. Having a high body count is not a form of achievement. This could be the reason for having infections that may cause suffering for a long time.
There are some cases when body count does not matter. This usually happens when the person truly loves someone. Love can be more powerful than any of these stereotypes. In this case, getting tested is important.
Filipino culture might be a factor in how others view women as having a high body count. But women with high body counts don’t deserve to be called inappropriate names. Moreover, body count does not define someone who she is as a person. For some, this may be a part of their experience that they want to forget.
The body count is considered very personal information. Whether you will answer if someone asks you is your choice. Just know that you are not required to answer it especially if you feel uncomfortable talking about it.
Finally, having a high or low body count does not make anyone superior or inferior. It doesn’t make someone less of a human. Nothing changed, you are still you. And we, as individuals, should not look at others differently based on their body counts.
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