#EmpowerHer: PMS is Real

WOMEN’S menstrual cycles are often brushed aside, but they shape how they feel and function every day.  

This cycle consists of four phases, each influencing their physical and emotional well-being. Take the luteal phase as an example, which happens 1-2 weeks before menstruation. During this time, hormonal changes can feel like a rollercoaster ride, and for many, it’s the toughest part of the cycle.  

What happens during the luteal phase?

During this time, women – not all, but many – experience all sorts of symptoms. Mood swings? Check. Cravings? Double-check. Physical discomfort? Absolutely. Here’s where things get real. 

Joedelyn Grace, 21, puts it like this: “I sometimes experience mood swings, and I also get irritated easily.” Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop there. “I find myself crying at night even when there is no particular reason to,” she added.

The Reality of PMS

PMS, or premenstrual syndrome is experienced during the luteal phase. It can manifest in various ways and is often misunderstood. Surely, this is not just “moodiness” or “being dramatic,” or how other people often describe it, “tinotoyo ka na naman.” This dismissive attitude invalidates real struggles.

Joedelyn’s experience highlights this perfectly. As her period approaches, she feels the emotional shifts and physical symptoms creeping in.  

And guess what, while it already sounds awful, the struggle of PMS does not end there. The lack of awareness and compassion from others can make it feel even worse. Imagine being accused of being irritable by choice, as if women are somehow manipulating their emotions for personal gain. That’s the reality many faces, and it’s both frustrating and discouraging.

Joedelyn’s Story

Luckily for Joedelyn, her home is a supportive space. “My parents are accommodating when it comes to my mood swings,” she explained. Given that she experiences PMS and PCOS, her family understands that her mood changes are tied to her menstrual cycle. But to her friends, it is a different story.

“They don’t openly express their support and validation since they are not aware of my menstrual schedule,” she said. 

This lack of awareness can lead to awkward moments. 

“Sometimes I could express my irritation with my friends, and they misunderstand,” she admitted, which can spark little conflicts among friends, and lead to feelings of isolation for Joedelyn.

But it is not all bad. Luckily, Joedelyn finds comfort in the presence of other women, like her mom and soon-to-be sister-in-law. 

“Having other women around me who know and understand my situation brings me comfort and security,” she shared.

Still, she wishes for more understanding from others. “I would appreciate it if they would be more understanding when I’m going through my red days,” she expressed. Small gestures, like preparing a hot compress, offering some comfort food, or perhaps not saying anything triggering at all, could really make a difference.

Kristine’s Story

Kristine Burgos, also 21, highlights her emotional struggles during PMS, noting, “Whenever I’m 1-2 weeks away from period, I crave sweet foods,” she said, even though she usually tries to eat healthily. “But during these times, I crave for something sweet and just eat.” It’s like her body takes over, and she can’t help it. 

Kristine also deals with emotional highs and lows. “I’m so emotional and feeling depressed at night or when I’m alone,” she admitted.  “I cry easily, even at a one-line quote that I counter on social media.” It’s a tough spot to be in, and it can make her feel like she’s losing control. This illustrates the powerful influence of hormonal changes that most people don’t believe is possible.

Her relationships sometimes take a hit during PMS, especially with her younger brother. “When I’m irritated about him, I throw words at him, and we fight,” she shared. These conflicts can leave them both feeling hurt and distant. “I also ignore my friends,” Kristine added. When she’s not in the mood to interact, she just shuts down. She copes by isolating herself, stating, “I want to be alone, ‘cause I’m not in my best mood to entertain.”

Like Joedelyn, this phase of Kristine’s cycle is when she often feels misunderstood. “Yes, I often get that a lot,” she said about being labeled as “maarte” or overly dramatic. “But I don’t really mind. I just roll my eyes at them,” she added with a hint of resistance. Yet, that resistance also reveals a deeper pain – a desire to be seen for who she truly is.

The Need for Compassion and Understanding

Despite their struggles, both Joedelyn and Kristine hope for greater awareness and compassion from those around them, longing for understanding that goes beyond superficial judgments. Joedelyn wishes for simple acts of kindness, while Kristine hopes people will see her beyond the labels. “I wish people knew me,” she reflected, “that I’m just going through PMS.”

Let’s be clear: PMS is real and its impact is extreme. People who are unable to understand these struggles can consider themselves lucky. Because it is not a whimsical choice women make to be moody or irritable; it is a natural biological process that needs compassion and understanding.

Dismissing these experiences as mere dramatics or labeling women as “maarte” or “tinotoyo” is like telling a depressed person that they’re just lazy. Not only is it invalidating but it keeps the culture of silence and shame going that no one should have to endure.

So, let’s start a conversation; a space where women can express their struggles without fear of judgment, where we acknowledge PMS for what it truly is – a real struggle that affects women’s emotional and physical well-being.

At the end of the day, while PMS is real, women are so much more than their symptoms.  They are individuals with dreams and strengths that extend far beyond their cycle.

With reports from Bea J. Larosa