PINK hues, bows, florals, glitters, dresses, and an overall aura of softness and grace – this is society’s narrow definition of femininity. This limited definition equates a woman’s worth with her ability to conform to these expectations, creating a pressure to embody traits that are deemed “womanly.”
In turn, women frequently find themselves judged not only by their appearances but also their alignment to these stereotypes, leading to a sense that they must comply to be considered likeable or successful.
One common concept linked to femininity is hyperfemininity. These are the stereotypical feminine qualities, particularly among women, especially those in heterosexual relationships. These women are led to believe that their relationship’s success depends on their femininity.
This often involves an expectation to please, accommodate, and sacrifice their own desires to maintain the relationship.
Although hyperfemininity heavily focuses on external attributes, true femininity encompasses many qualities. It invites women to embrace their nature and acknowledge that femininity can be expressed in a thousand ways beyond mere appearance.
But even in terms of behaviors and qualities, there are still stereotypes and misconceptions about women.
One of the most common misconceptions is that women are inherently emotional. While scientific studies indicate biological differences that may lead to different emotional responses between men and women, this misconception oversimplifies how women experience and express emotions.
Society often misinterprets emotional expressions as weakness, believing that women are incapable of making rational decisions in critical situations.
As Shainna Batayola, a 20-year-old, said: “As someone who openly expresses herself, being feminine really touches my sensitivity in every aspect, but this doesn’t mean that I am not capable of handling any circumstances. It is just allowing me to feel and value what I really feel without fearing how it can affect my well-being,” she shared.
This shows that women can feel things deeply but are still strong and resilient at the same time.
Looking down on women and generalizing their decision-making skills based solely on their emotional nature is both reductive and harmful, failing to recognize the other factors that influence decision-making.
Women are capable of rational decisions and critical analysis, just like anyone else.
On the other hand, society often view women as naturally nurturing and domestic.
Just like how Shainna puts it, “…Femininity is associated with the characteristics of being empathetic, nurturing, and sensitive.”
Traditionally, this has led to the stereotype that women belong in the kitchen, boxing them to roles of caregiving and household management.
Although nurturing can be a beautiful expression of femininity, it should not imply that women are solely responsible for domestic duties or emotional labor.
Women embracing their femininity should never feel obligated to fulfill these roles beyond their comfort or willingness.
Expecting a woman to naturally know how to cook is like expecting a man to naturally know how to play basketball. It is stereotypical.
Women should have the freedom to choose their role both in professional and personal contexts.
An emotionally sensitive woman can be misunderstood as someone who cries easily, but it should not be perceived as a weakness, as this can be a source of strength.
Iza, 23, shared her perspective: “When others are offended, sulking, or whatever they feel, parang naturally they show anger or annoyance. Although no offense ha, everyone can be mad. But to me, I show sadness lang. I cry softly lang, not because I’m that weak but because I feel like I’m more composed that way, and it’s harmless too.”
Instead of the common expression of anger, Iza avoids trouble by composedly crying, dealing with any situation with softness. Iza clarified that she does not always cry but is rather always calm. However, when feelings are too much, she finds that crying is way more harmless than lashing out.
“Plus, either way, people are going to look at you negatively for reacting. might as well be the ‘cry-baby’ than the ‘monster’ right?” Iza argued, explaining it as a harmless way of reacting to heated situations.
This shows that some women do not cry for the same reason society thinks they do but because women like Iza resort to the safest way other than being violent.
After all, people are going to say something negative, whatever the circumstances are.
But clearly, choosing how to emotionally deal with a situation is completely up to a person, and there is no perfect way for women to do so either. Any person has the right to express madness, and Iza’s way is only one of them.
More importantly, women who express meltdown are not less feminine than those who don’t, much like how women should not be expected to always be calm and composed.
Society also expects women to have high-pitched voices like the stereotypical Disney princesses. So, those who don’t sound like the stereotypical feminine woman may be unfairly categorized as less feminine or labeled as lesbian.
In a short Tiktok interview by Dose of Society, a woman named Maddie shared her insecurities about her voice sounding low and manly.
“They called me Mason instead of Maddie,” she said, with a smile on her face.
Although Maddie admitted that she’s already embracing her voice, this still says a lot about the societal expectations that women should have high-pitched voices, otherwise, they may be perceived as less feminine or even mistaken for men.
Having a low voice can be due to several factors which women have little to no control over.
Shaming women for not having a typical high-pitched voice is like shaming a guy for not sounding ‘manly’ enough – damaging one’s sense of self and confidence.
The expectation for women to be ‘pure’ leads to another stereotype that they should be hairless in every part of their body. This belief not only feeds society’s unrealistic beauty standards but also pressures women to conform, often at the expense of their comfort.
One example is Audrey Lane-Partlow in Jam Republic. She is a professional dancer, choreographer, and model who posts dance covers and even original choreographies on TikTok.
Occasionally, she wears sleeveless clothing, which exposes her underarm hair.
Audrey would receive negative reactions from anonymous accounts, saying, “She is pretty, but the armpit hair is not it.”
While some have defended the dancer, some have affirmed the negative remark, stating, “Where I live, both men and women are expected to shave because it’s considered part of hygiene, not something tied to gender.”
These two comments alone already highlight the ongoing societal expectations that women should be hairless to be considered hygienic. Sadly, these types of comments don’t only come from men alone, but also women who are also probably complying with societal expectations without even knowing.
Yumi, 22, is one of them, often shaving her leg hair whenever she goes out of her house.
She shared, “…Kasi too hairy na sa legs [ko], so I tend to shave especially when I go out. But the rest naman I don’t feel insecure about, but still end up maintaining to be almost hairless maybe because gano’n nga ang ‘standards.’”
Body hair is natural, as we are mammals. Although it is completely understandable to feel uncomfortable with its appearance, it is totally not valid to make people feel the same about theirs.
It has long been established that body hair is there for important reasons, especially pubic hair, which keeps the vulva’s skin warm and moisturized and protects against dust, dirt, and germs to prevent infection.
Basically, shaving or removing body hair for ‘hygiene purposes’ is counterproductive. There’s no medical justification to pressure women to do this at all.
Shaving body hair should be done out of personal preference and comfort, never out of societal pressure.
Femininity is a social construct that no one should feel pressured to comply with.
Women’s own expression of femininity is what truly matters, expressing their identities in ways that resonate with their true selves, even if that involves not shaving their armpit hair or embracing their deeper voice.
After all, a woman is feminine simply by being a woman, and no person should tell her otherwise.
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