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Dear Mama: A letter from a proud Mama’s Boy

by Bryan Gadingan

MOTHER, Mama, Mommy, Mom, whatever we call them, the essence is the same at the end of the day. They are the heart and soul of our home, as well as the light that guides our life. 

As life progressed, I realized that I am a true mama’s boy. This moniker, which is frequently associated with stereotypes, has a tremendous depth of love, respect, and adoration that goes beyond cultural conventions. 

My mother has been my biggest confidante and supporter. Her constant presence has been a source of comfort and strength, grounding me in times of uncertainty and lifting me up in times of triumph. 

Photo Courtesy: Bryan Gadingan

When my father is not there at my game, she fills in for him and is boisterous while I play. She is there to reap the seeds we both sowed on occasions like my recognition day, just before I graduate from college. 

Furthermore, being a mama’s boy is more than simply a label; it represents a mother’s deep attachment with her child. And how enormous the shoes they fill in our life, even as we become older. 

Some may consider me as weak or reliant, incapable of standing on my own two feet without my mother, but they fail to recognize that being a mama’s boy has only strengthened me. 

Being reared by my mother instilled in me virtues such as compassion, empathy, and resilience, which have formed who I am now. These principles become part of me, and I carry them with me wherever I go.

The fondest memories with her

It’s delightful to see that there are more proud mama’s boys in this generation. These younger people realized how crucial their mothers are in shaping them as they move on in life. 

Photo Courtesy: Bryan Gadingan 

I grew up with many memories of my mother and grandmother. Given how hands-on my grandma was with me as a child, I initially mistook her for my mother. 

In an interview with republicasia, Euxim Garcia, a 21-year-old intern from Far Eastern University, expressed the same desire to be more dependent on his mother than anybody else. 

“Growing up, I always leaned on my mom, especially when I was a child. She used to take me to her workplace because there was no one to look after me at home,” Garcia explained during the interview. 

“From a young age, I have fond memories of going with her on the train to her office and exploring the mall where she worked as an accountant. So, I think that’s my fondest memory with my mom.” 

However, as he gets older, he is compelled to spend less time with her because of his academic obligations. “In terms of spending time together, studying in Manila limits the time we can spend together,” Garcia said.

Photo Courtesy: Euxim Garcia

“They try their best to visit as much as they can because we have our own home here that’s why it is easy for them to go to Manila wherever they can,” he added.

Meanwhile, Ronnel Cruz, another Far Eastern University intern, considers his grandmother to be the “mother” who has been closest to him from childhood. And, being the first grandchild, he was indulged plenty. 

When asked about his greatest memory, Cruz said, “She would cook my favorite food, would back me up when I have problems in school, and would always give me pieces of advice about everything.” 

Cruz, despite having a busy schedule at college, especially now that he is graduating, manages to make time to go out and have dinner with his grandma and have a quick conversation about life.

Is it wrong to be raised by her?

Growing up, we all know that the older generation finds being a “mama’s boy” amusing since they are accustomed to the idea that a boy must be raised by a man. However, there is nothing wrong with being raised by a feminine figure.

“Yes, because I was raised in a household where my mom and grandmother made the decisions,” the 21-year-old Garcia shared, when asked if he believes that there is nothing wrong with being raised by a feminine figure.

“Yes, my father was there, but the final decision always comes  from my mom and grandmother. So, growing up, I didn’t have the perception of patriarchy because I never experienced it.”

“I never had the idea that mothers should only stay at home, although being a housewife is a job in itself. My mom, in a way, tried her best to balance both things,” he went on to share.

Photo Courtesy: Ronnel Cruz

Cruz shares the same belief as Garcia, “I honestly don’t see anything wrong about being raised by a feminine figure because the purity and sincerity of their love and affection can’t be compared to others.”

“I definitely feel that my personality is balanced; I may radiate fierce and powerful personality, but deep inside, I am a very emotionally affectionate person because I got it from mama.”

“My mama taught me to always be humble and grateful, that’s why despite the gender norm that men should be firm, mama taught me that being outspoken and emotional is normal,” he shared.

The need of a feminine guidance

As we all know, the value of feminine guidance for young boys cannot be stressed in today’s world, particularly for males, in terms of developing their emotional intelligence, empathy, and awareness of gender dynamics. 

While it is widely known that both male and female influences are important for a child’s growth, feminine guidance’s distinct perspective and loving qualities can be especially beneficial. 

I believe that being raised by a feminine figure for the majority of my life has given me a better understanding of my emotions and how to express them openly. Men like me can better detect and comprehend our own emotions if we have a feminine influence in our life.

Photo Courtesy: Ronnel Cruz

“Feminine guidance is indeed vital for men to combat societal pressure that men must always be firm and tough. I do believe that all of us, regardless of gender and sexuality, must know how to be empathetic, sympathetic, and affectionate.”

“Fragile feeling-dominant masculinity won’t lead the world to something better. Through feminine guidance, everyone would know how to be humble and genuine,” Cruz went on to explain why a feminine figure is important.

Through the collective interactions we had with our mothers, grandmothers, sisters, or female mentors, we learned to see the world from a different perspective and develop a deeper appreciation for diversity and inclusivity.

A message to you, my loving mother

Despite being with them every day, it can be difficult for us to communicate our affection for them. Yes, we recognize their importance, yet we still fail to express our gratitude and love for them.

Photo Courtesy: Bryan Gadingan 

When asked what message they would like to send to their mothers on Mother’s Day, they responded as follows. “Happy Mother’s Day, Mama. I know that I don’t say this a lot, but you have sacrificed a lot for us, and I want to say thank you,” Garcia said.

“Happy mother’s day, mama! Thank you for the consistent love and support that you have shown and given me since I was a kid. Nothing makes me blissful and grateful than to have someone like you who raised me to be the person that I am,” said Cruz.

“I will be graduating this July and I am more than excited to take you to places that you have never been and to give you all the things that you have never had. I love you, ma!” he ended.

For me, I shall be eternally grateful to have been loved and nurtured by your feminine influences. The feminine figure who guided me every step of the way helped shape me into the well-rounded person I am now. 

Indeed, once a mama’s boy, will always be a proud mama’s boy, I shall carry a piece of you with me. Wherever I go, and no matter how far I go in life, I will always do my best #ParaKayMother.

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